There really comes a tipping point when you realize all the work you’ve done is clicking. You move differently. You feel differently. You look at yourself differently. In those moments when you may have felt like breaking down, suddenly you feel alive and clear. The emotion isn’t the same. You react differently. You see the world differently. Suddenly there is this possibility of moving the pieces rather than getting taken out like some pawn. I’m not talking abut looking at the world as a game—I’m talking about responding to the world as it is as we are.
I woke up the other morning feeling absolutely invincible. I had no reason to—nothing special happened. I didn’t do the workout I wanted to because my body ached, I was running late in waking up my kid, my mind wandered all over the place. But I felt empowered to look at the morning differently. I still worked out even if it wasn’t as hard as I wanted it to be. I still had time with my kid even though it wasn’t as much as I wanted. My mind wanders all the time anyway but I still manage to get things done. I was proud to be present in that moment and to accept myself. I felt like myself.
So many days I feel like I’m out of my skin, never quite who I am and always looking for the next thing I have to be doing. I rarely feel settled. The moments I do feel that contentment feel amazing. But this particular moment was something else. It was more than a glimpse of being settled. It was a moment of standing rock solid in my foundation. It reminded me that we don’t need to take over the world to feel powerful, we just need to take control of our world. Talk about a release of pressure.
We can never control the people or events around us. All we can control is ourselves and our reactions, how we move, how we feel. We can choose who we want to be. I’m not the greatest at staying in that state of mind, but I constantly remind myself that I have the option to choose, and as long as that option exists, I am blessed. And maybe that is part of why I felt invincible: I realized that I am blessed simply to exist. I can make moves in my life and we are each at the helm—including me. We have to appreciate what we can do over what we can’t because that is what opens up the possibilities to finding our way. It feels good.