Monthly Archives: July 2020

Commenting on Comments–Looking at Communication

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If fear is caused by the unknown or the inability to control another’s perception of our actions, then I think it is important to look at the idea of how we present ourselves.  Over the last 20 years, there has been a significant change in language.  Most of this is the natural progression of communication.  As life develops and evolves, ways to describe and explain it and express it must also develop and evolve.  New terms are invented every day.

The part that worries me is that we have taken one of the truest and most sincere art forms and have become careless with it.  We have not treated communication well.  We have taken advantage of it and in may ways we have bastardized it.  Our lives have been whittled down from sonnets to 140 characters or less.  So much meaning and intent is lost in how we communicate today because we are lazy.  Now, don’t misunderstand, I perfectly understand that there is a time and a place for all types of communication.  But we have oversimplified our words and over-impressed our personal interpretations on them.

I think my age is showing a bit because there are words slung around by the new generations that I literally have NO idea what they mean.  I need to look them up.  And perhaps that is where my laziness shows as well.  I never felt the need to figure out what something meant and understanding felt natural to me.  As I age, I see that I need to find that communication, especially cross generationally, requires a lot more work.  I feel like my parents when we entered the age of Wi-Fi.  They had no context to what the hell we were talking about—and now I feel the same way.  There is an implied expectation that everyone will automatically know what you’re talking about and, now that I am on the other side of this group, I see that there are certain contexts that are specific to certain groups and demographics.  So understanding one another requires extra effort.

I’m not suggesting that we turn back the clock on communication because, in spite of my annoyances with our stunted and abbreviated lifestyle, I know that there are many important conversations happening in this new way.  I am suggesting that we re-evaluate the intention behind communication again.  I am suggesting that we consider shifting our expectation that people will automatically understand us.  We can only understand from where we are at.  So we have to learn to make allowances.

Language is a tricky thing.  George Bernard Shaw said, “The greatest illusion about communication is that it has taken place”.  We spend time aggressively shouting our opinions without ever making a point.  I’m guilty of that as much as the next person but it is our job to work towards understanding.  The expectation that people will automatically do the research to figure out what we mean is a selfish and unrealistic demand.  In our quest to dominate time and to talk more (without saying anything) we have turned communication into a power struggle.  We have made it a selfish endeavor in pursuit of furthering our own cause rather than a means to reach a common ground.  So let go of the demand that people automatically understand us—because they don’t.

Communication is about mutual understanding—and doing what it takes to achieve that.  We have mistaken the idea that we don’t need to explain ourselves in how we live our lives to mean that we don’t need to explain what we say.  Conversely, we have created and fostered a society that is intentionally obtuse.  We like to be offended and we like to pretend that people mean things they clearly did not.  And we like to say that we didn’t mean things we clearly did.  Intentional skewing of our words is gaslighting.

Say what you mean and mean what you say, let go of your ego and the expectation that people will automatically understand you, leave some room for a level of understanding, and leave room to discuss.  And for Pete’s sake stop taking everything so personally.

Bonus

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I’ve noticed the overarching theme to much of what I’ve been discussing is fear.  I watched a short video today recapping “Breaking Bad.”  The clip is Walter White’s speech about living his whole life scared of what may or may not happen.  He said he had trouble sleeping because of these thoughts, finding himself awake at 3 in the morning.  He said that once he got his diagnosis of cancer he no longer had trouble sleeping.  He said, “I came to realize that fear, that’s the worst of it.  That’s the real enemy.”  I felt those words in my soul.  I felt how true it is that as soon as our backs are up against the wall, all the bullshit we create literally disappears.  We suddenly see what is important and the rest no longer creates precedence.  Why is it that we allow our entire lives to go by in this state of self-induced and self-created fear?

Fear is an emotion that weighs heavily on us but we fail to see how we invite it in.  We allow ourselves to lose sight of the things that matter because we give into the myriad of distractions this world offers.  It all has to do with our training, our conditioning into this society.  Everything we fear is entirely created in our minds.

See, once you get beyond what we are afraid of, we start to look at things differently.  We start to recognize what we really need and operate from our own agenda rather than what is assigned to us.  And that makes the system we live in very nervous.  Clear, autonomous thought doesn’t serve well in a society that tells us what we are supposed to like, buy, consume, how we are supposed to work, how we entertain ourselves, and what we are supposed to wear, think, and do.  A person who lets go of fear and works toward their own goals puts a system that tells us we need it at every turn on edge.

When I heard Walter’s speech, I immediately felt those nights.  The ones where I woke up at 3am worrying about the mortgage, different bills, if I was a good enough mother, the fact that I haven’t had another kid yet, how I needed to find the right job, how I was so behind on creating my own business, what was going to happen to my parents, that I needed to be closer to my family, that I needed space, that I needed clarity, that I would never have clarity, that I needed to be more spiritual, that I was going to die, that my family was going to die, that we would never make it, that I would always struggle.  And I had woken up on many nights like that from as early as I could remember.

Freedom isn’t about creating the life we are told to create.  Freedom is about creating a life we love—and changing it as we see fit.  Freedom is having the ability to go where we are called.  Freedom isn’t about consuming what we are told, it is about creating what we want through consuming what appeals.  Freedom is the ability to act on our own choices.

I want to be clear that naturally, we are NOT free from the consequences of these actions.  But we have CREATED specific consequences as a society and, really, the fear isn’t about performing the act: it is about failing in the act and suffering the consequences.

If all we fear is a response to an action then we have the opportunity to look at fear differently.  Once you understand that fear is about a potential perception of our actions, change what that perception is.  “Failure” is really a chance to learn.  Fear is what shows us where we need to go.  And Fear is what keeps us caged in a broken system.

So unlock the doors of the cage by learning to take meaningful chances in your life.  Take chances on the things that matter most to you.  Take chances on yourself.  Hell, take the chance on simply believing in who you are and that you know what you are meant to do.  Take the chance that you don’t need someone to tell you what to do or how to live your day.  Let go of the man-made restrictions and expectations that keep you neatly locked away.  Let go of the fear of yourself and your abilities and give into what you know you are meant to do.  There is nothing to fear when it comes to your authenticity.  THAT is your awakening and the consequence of that is living a fulfilled life.  I say if that is where fear leads me, then by all means show me the way.

Deconstructing Part 5–Integrating

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The last part I want to talk about in terms of deconstructing our system is our view on the past, mistakes, and experience.  We tend to view all of these things as shameful.  We are taught that the things we had to go through to learn our lessons are shameful things to hide.  We aren’t taught the value of integrating them and using them as the stepping stones to take us where we need to be.

We tend to have an unrealistic expectations when it comes to, well, anything.  Between expecting people to read our minds, our perfectionism, and our need for attention we have created our own failures before we even try.  Toss in our built-in need for control and power and soon we are living in a miserable fantasy land.  We learn to carefully construct our lives so they appear a certain way—and we pretend we have no power in our lives.  The illusion of lack of power leads us to seek it in any way we can.

Humans are not meant to be perfect.  We are not meant to construct illusions to garner power.  We are meant to tap into our innate power and to use that to fulfill our purpose.  We are meant to complement each other and to help each other through our weak points.  We aren’t meant to be all knowing, we are meant to learn and to help each other.

There are infinite possibilities in this universe and attempting to pursue the same dream is rather limiting.  The only way to get beyond that is to tap into what you are called to do.  We can’t learn what we are meant to do until we try what feels right.  And those things will not always turn out.  THAT is the lesson we need to learn: reframe those things that didn’t turn out into guideposts.  I have spoken about this many times as a personal tool.  That is always where it starts because as we begin to shift, those around us begin to shift.  Slowly more and more people begin to shift and soon we can look at the bigger picture.  So there is always value in wrong turns: they always end up getting us where we need to be.

When it comes to the overall look at the past, it weighs heavily on many of us.  It’s difficult to reconcile certain events and we all have a few moments we wish we could erase forever.  The truth is we tend to give the past too much control over our future.  That is another way we give up our true power.  The past is no indicator of the future.  The magic we possess is that we can change the future at any time.

So what happens when we decide that what was, no longer has any say in where we are going?  Anything.  And everything.  And exactly what is meant to be.  Reframing these thoughts is challenging to say the least.  We are reconciling personal trauma with historical trauma—the events that are passed to us from generations before who have endured the same traumas so often they are written in their blood.  The beautiful thing about working with the universe is that as soon as the decision to change is made, the universe conspires to make it happen.  All you have to do is jump in.

The goal then is to put the things long gone away safely where they no longer have an emotional impact on us.  They are things that can teach us, not hurt us.  Nothing more.  And shame—such an unnecessary emotion.  I don’t profess that we should never feel shame because, in the moment, it can quickly redirect us.  But to feel shame over things that are over serves no purpose other than to cut our mind all over again.  All we can do in those moments is pause and say, “thank you for the lesson, I take it and move forward.”

Imagine a world where this type of power is harnessed.  Imagine how accelerated our learning would be.  And for Pete’s sake, imagine what it would feel like in a world where people no longer judged what we did or what we should be doing.  While I know that is an extremely lofty goal, just imagine what it would feel like.  When we see the value in the experiences rather than lamenting them or chastising ourselves (or others) more possibilities open.  That, my friends, is what deconstruction is really about.  It’s about giving up what we know, what we know doesn’t really serve, in favor of the rebuild.  As I said before, deconstruction doesn’t mean devastation.  These parts are all essential to what was and what will be.  But in order for them to work we need to do the work…break it down and adjust.  Maybe then we can create the space for us to all fly again.

Sunday Gratitude

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Today I am grateful for the consistent signs the Universe is always sending.  There comes a time when we need a little reminder about what we are supposed to be doing.  I am incredibly grateful for when those reminders come as I need them.  In the midst of multiple shifts in this world, it helps to have some guidance.

Today I am grateful for strengthening my relationship with myself.  I have felt such an awakening, an opening in who I am over the last few weeks and the difference in operating from a place of self-assurance and faith is far better than looking for direction in the opinions of others who can’t run their own life.  It gets easier trusting your own intuition the more you do it.

Today I am grateful for strengthening my relationship with my husband. In 19 years together, this last week has been the best we have every had communication wise.  I have never felt closer to him and we have never opened up this much to each other.  We became a couple very young and much of the growth we needed was delayed because we were focused on each other rather than maturing.  Now is a new day and it feels like the veil lifted.  I have never felt more secure and that has improved the security in my relationship as well—maybe the certainty in my relationship.

Today I am grateful for family projects.  We are doing some work around the house and it felt great to work on them together.  Listening to music, painting, taping, meal prep…I loved the communal, collaborative energy of coming together to get things done.

Today I am grateful for spontaneity.  To piggy back off of the universe sending signs, I am grateful for knowing when to go with it.  We have been talking to our neighbors for the last few weeks about showing our house and randomly yesterday, they contacted us.  The house was completely not show ready, we were just beginning to scrub and paint—but we said yes anyway.  It went really well.  Sometimes you just have to say screw it and let what comes, come.

Today I am grateful for reminders of what a badass I am.  I needed the kick in the butt to remind me to stop playing small, to remain unstoppable, and to not settle for less.  Going big, going for the real dream is terrifying—especially when you don’t feel ready.  But the reality is I am even more terrified to not try and to look back wishing I had done something differently.  So why not simply go for it?

Today I am grateful to just be.  I’ve had big plans since I was a kid.  They were always bigger than I knew what to do with and I consistently let fear win out.  I am learning that the universe takes us where we need to be right when we are supposed to be there.  Recognizing the ability to turn this life into one that I love has shifted my perspective immensely.  The universe plays with us, showing us bits and pieces of possibilities and asks that we join in the game.  As we relax into who we are, the acceptance transforms everything around us.  So I am grateful to simply be.

Deconstructing Part 4– Trust

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I have had the underlying feeling of not fitting in and been targeted at work for the last several months.  The things that are being pointed out have shown me that people are desperate, hurting and crying out for attention and power.   This is an opportunity.  The opportunity to find that spark again and demonstrate unequivocally who I am.  Not from a place of ego, but a place of complete love, trust, and certainty in authentic connection.  The type of connection that commands and leads itself.

I’ve learned that the lessons will repeat until we learn them for ourselves.  Not only learn them, but integrate them as well.  More to come on that part.

My lesson is to no longer shrink.  The rumbles of those who have been forced to play small and to downplay their lives is rumbling louder and louder.  The same is true for me.  The lesson to stand so firmly no one questions me and they understand that the boundary we had previously set with each other needs to be renegotiated.  People see me and think I’m a pushover based solely on my appearance.  I’m not a pushover but I have been performative and a people pleaser.  I lost my sense of self doing what I was told, trying to be the good girl thinking that would get me where I wanted to be.

I’m learning to listen to that intuitive message that says I need to let go and go where I’m wanted.  To dive into the work I am called to do.  I will go where I’m wanted and if that isn’t with people playing the current game, I will take my own space and make something of my own.  When we create a space of love we can learn to trust.

As a whole, we need to learn to trust.  That is something we inherently fear because we learn early on that vulnerability is risky and people will only look out for themselves.  While this may be true on some level, we need to learn how to be together again.  People are power hungry because they are energy depleted.  If we learn to trust and connect with source again, that need is fulfilled intrinsically by ourselves rather than us demanding that energy from other people.  It’s not weird or selfish to connect with ourselves—it’s necessary so we can connect with those around us.

Creating a system based on connection and collective need makes the world a safer place.  Seeing the humanity in others softens our approach and opens us up to vulnerability.  And it is when we are open, in a state of understanding progress can be made.  We are so afraid of the unknown and of what we can’t control that we create a system to give us “answers.”  The truth is nothing is really in our control except our decisions.  Imagine what the decision to let go of fear would look like.  Imagine what the decision to collaborate and not compete would look like.  Suddenly the paradigm shifts.

I think all of these things are quiet little revolutions within ourselves.  The change has to start somewhere.  And each of us is inherently powerful enough to recognize the rumblings of what we know is right within ourselves.  So TRUST.  Trust yourself.  Trust your instinct.  Trust your purpose.

Deconstructing Part 3- Connection

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I want to take this to a personal level.  If we don’t address the things inside of us that fall into “bad habits” or the feelings we are trying to numb, we will never get to the core of the issue on the macro level.

I mentioned in Sunday gratitude that my husband and I had an incredible talk this past weekend.  Over the last few days, we have continued the conversation.  I thought I wanted this conversation 10 years ago—and I did—but I see the value of self-realization and understand that we couldn’t have spoken like this 10 years ago.  We weren’t in this place at that time.  My husband GETS it now.  He understands things in a way that he didn’t a decade ago.  He understands his resistance to much of what I was talking about and he is finally in a place where he can look at his behavior and the events that happened in a new light.  He’s feeling his way through the actions he took, what he used to choke back, or smoke away.

For me, I understand that forcing him to see things my way would never have worked because he simply wasn’t capable of looking at things like that.  Pushing him, no matter how good my intentions, no matter how much I knew I deserved what I was asking for simply COULD NOT work.  It takes the work to accept our part in our lives and how we got where we are.

It’s a disorienting place to be.  Suddenly you’re feeling things about events long since past and reconciling your current state.  It’s like being frozen at a certain age and waking up 20 years later.  Having these conversations now is also disorienting because I’ve been waiting for it for so long.  Our relationship has evolved and I feel numb and hopeful at the same time.  Numb because I processed the events alone a long time ago—although our talks have shown me I didn’t process them as well as I thought I did.  I knew then that if I chose to stay with him I’d have to let certain things go on some level.  I had hoped at the time that we would have these types of conversations but I knew I couldn’t make that happen.

I am hopeful because this is real healing.  I see all the potential I always felt opening up.  Healing is a powerful thing.  I’m happy and I appreciate it.  The other side of this is that it feels like a death.  The truth is it is a death.  Death of the way it used to be, of how I used to see it, of how I used to experience life.

When we let things go whether they are our personal monsters or very real systemic beasts, it’s scary.  We all know we are trained to focus on the fear.  But with every death there is also a rebirth.  While it may be the death of the before, it is the rebirth of the after—and there is all the potential of the universe in the after.  While it is sad—not all of what we let go is bad—we can still acknowledge the good by mourning it appropriately and then letting go.  It does no good to lament what is broken and wallow in what we can’t change.  When we integrate the good with an openness to learn, we move forward.  Destruction doesn’t mean devastation.  It means a rebuild under a new framework with a different foundation.  More to come…

Deconstructing Part 2–Demons at Work

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Let’s continue the discussion about deconstruction as it pertains to breaking the system and reclaiming time.  I work for a healthcare facility that has been neck deep in the Covid crisis.  We have been working to getting things back to as normal of an operation as we can.  I manage three departments and my third department has only been opened as of July 6th.  I have a wonderful employee who has been more than accommodating and understanding during this time and she was only brought back on a part time basis based on department needs.  She worked for two weeks with no incident and then an employee from a different department made a complaint against her…for the business casual top she was wearing.

There are so many reasons why this was inappropriate but let’s look at this from the base level:  I had an employee who was back for a period of two weeks taking a 50% pay cut with absolutely no work related issues and the problem an unrelated team member had was with her was her shirt.  As the manager of my employee, I had no issue with the shirt.  There was nothing wrong with it.  But an employee who reports to another department decided that she took issue with it and brought it up to our director and now the issue has been brought to HR.  Now it’s at an entirely different level.

I cannot understand for the life of me that during this particular time in all of our lives there are still people who feel entitled enough to bring forward a non-issue like this because of their opinion.  But this is the state we have perpetuated and fostered.  If you don’t like something you are able to create a storm around it and get results.  I also cannot understand for the life of me that a business that is dealing with the largest crisis we have seen in a long time would even entertain allowing leadership level employees to waste their time dealing with this nonsense.

This is not the first time this type of incident has happened—but this is the first time I feel this level of agitation about it.  I am very well aware that making any kind of waves is inherently risky.  But I am also very well aware that, at this time in my life, I no longer feel compelled to stay quiet about it or to go with the flow.  What this employee in the other department did is wrong and it is our responsibility to demonstrate that this is not the time or place for the behavior and it was completely unwarranted even if it were the time or place.

I have worked long and hard enough to establish myself in a leadership role and I value the privilege that comes with that position.  This puts me in a position to raise the issue from a big picture perspective and hopefully cut away at the very system that I have been complaining about.  I am fully willing to do this in a constructive way but I am determined to put some responsibility back on recognizing where the issue really is: we have encouraged people to focus on what makes them uncomfortable rather than getting the job done.  We have put more value on someone’s opinion of a perfectly acceptable shirt than on an employee who has gone above and beyond on multiple occasions.

This is an opportunity to examine the monsters we have created, accept our role in letting it continue, and to lay a firm foundation in reconstructing expectations.  Part of that is going to be establishing how our time is spent and understanding it needs to be on productive exercises—not on taking time away from patients to complain about another department’s HR approved clothing.

This also speaks to the current state of what is happening in the US regarding reopening businesses and returning kids to classrooms.  We are more concerned about what things look like rather than public safety.  My example may be small but it is the insidious, seemingly innocuous behavior that seeps through the cracks that leads to a nation behaving as a bunch of misinformed, spoiled children.  I am going to do my small part to stop it.

Deconstructing

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A conversation about our current state as a whole needs to take place.  I’ve been thinking about the system we have built and how we need to address those flaws.  People are raw and scared and that is a difficult place to recover from.  That is a difficult place to identify where the issue really originates.  So I wanted to start the conversation from a high level.

In order for anything to be built we need to eliminate what we have in its place.  This can be anything from thoughts that no longer serve to a job that doesn’t fulfill you to ending a relationship that no longer fits.  The first step is recognizing that something doesn’t feel right.  Then it is examining why.  Then it is removing those pieces that aren’t in alignment with our authentic selves.

Sounds simple—which is why it is so challenging.

We are meant to be happy and joyful creatures.  When we are in a state of joy, we bring light to this world in the form of creativity and love.  In our society we are taught from birth that our worth is determined by our productivity.  We have no frame of inherent worth let alone belonging.  We are taught independence and that we need to build a life.  While there is incredible freedom and privilege in that, there is also an incredible pressure and heaviness.  We are free to do what we want as long as we can do it on our own.  It is weak to rely on others.  It’s a burden to ask for help.  The truth is we are social creatures and we are not meant to go it alone.

I do not discount that we are also human and have inborn qualities of competition and survival based power struggles, but overall, being with a pack has proven more beneficial than being a loner.  There is an African proverb that says “if you want to go fast go alone.  If you want to go far, go together.”  That used to bother me because I struggle with a competitive nature and my goals were incredibly skewed toward the personal.  As I’ve settled into a new routine, I understand the value and the need of being with people and creating an environment that serves the collective.

Let’s talk about understanding that we can do things differently—we have to do things differently.  I decided several months back that I needed to take steps to do things I love.  I couldn’t sit back and wait for the time someone would tell me that it was ok to do something for myself because that day would never come.  We have to create that time for ourselves.  My work was very focused on making money to pay the bills and it felt miserable.  There was no joy and I felt suffocated.  My anxiety about time was through the roof as each day passed by and nothing changed; I knew at that rate I would wake up 20 years from now and still be in the same place.  I understood that wanting things to change wasn’t enough to make them change.  So I started to change my time.

There is immense power in reclaiming your time.  The days that passed so quickly on repeat suddenly slowed down and felt a little more alive.  I created space for joy simply by stopping what didn’t serve.  A lot of that was letting go of other people’s expectations.  When work was done, I left.  I didn’t sit there waiting for the next thing to drop.  I went about my day and left the 9-5 behind.  I made time to do things with my son during the week.  I made time to write during the week. Slowly the creativity started flowing again.  And then it sped up. Life felt…alive again.

In speaking of the broader picture of breaking free of cages, this is the first step.  We have to learn where our power really lies and we have to release the fear of breaking the routines.  We are not meant to live as rigid creatures stuck on repeat day in and day out.  We are meant to dance and sing and celebrate life in its natural flow—not to tame it.  More to come.

Sunday Gratitude

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Today I am grateful for an amazing weekend with family.  I was privileged enough last weekend to spend some much needed time with my sister and this weekend I was able to enjoy time with my brother and father and my husband’s side as well.  I didn’t realize I had been missing some connection so it was really nice to have that time together.

Today I am grateful for communication.  I had one of the most profound conversations with my husband this morning—something we rarely do, something I have been wanting to do for a long time—and it shifted a lot for me.  We took 30 minutes out of our day and the things we talked about cleared years of history we had been sitting on.  Things I didn’t even know he thought about anymore, things I have long since changed my perspective on, all of the clearing brought us into the present.  It felt like we made leaps forward in areas I didn’t realize how stagnant we were.

Today I am grateful for appreciation.  It was so nice to be appreciated and seen simply for who I am and to know that there is value.  I know that we shouldn’t seek validation from outside sources, but I have to admit that part of me still feels good when recognized.

Today I am grateful for being outside.  Not a new one for me, but I truly enjoy being outside and spending time doing things outdoors.  And I love the reminder to get myself moving.  My son was able to play on an inflatable water slide today and in a sandbox so it was awesome to see him having so much fun.

Today I am grateful for time with my son—and cuddles as a family.  We spent some time this morning (before we got ready to go) sitting on the couch and cuddling.  I feel so lucky to get to have those quiet moments with my kid.  Those times before work begins, or before we are really doing anything for the day.  I enjoy holding him like that, while he is still small enough.  I love being a mom, as hard as it is, I love being his mom.

Today I am grateful to be making decisions.  I have been increasingly more decisive over the last few months and I am steadily improving.  Perhaps it isn’t the decisions themselves (because I still don’t always get it “right”) but the PROCESS of making decisions.  Each one leading and guiding toward a result—and movement is key.  Knowing it is ok to make the decision that is right for me is also a form of connection.

Today I am simply grateful…

Self-Imposed Cages

 

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Our reality is shaped by our thoughts.  Our actions follow our thought and creates the reality we see.  I had an overwhelming sense of questioning my current position when I was at my 9-5 and finished work really early.  And I realized that I had to stay there trying to create a way to be productive for the rest of the day.  A ton of questions started spinning through my head because, you know, down time.

Why do we continue to work 8 non-productive hours when we have so many other things we can be doing?  Why do we think the world has to look this way any longer?  We know that we can do better and that we can do things differently: so why aren’t we working toward that? Who says it has to be like this? Why do we deny what we love?  Why are we so anxious and chaotic in our thought patterns and why do we play this game where we have to down play anything good that happens to us?  Why do we have the compulsive need to label and define—everything?  How to we stop forcing others to see everything our way?  When do we silence our egos and listen to learn from each other?

All of this comes down to choice—including these cages we build for ourselves.  We feel it coming, we know it’s wrong.  But we still do it.  So that’s the next question.  Why do we go along with things we know are wrong?  What is the real issue?  Is it our herd mentality?  Fears of the unknown that keep us circling the same path?  Our need for individualism that leads us to the same path anyway? We strive to be so unique and to prove that we are better than others in order to validate our worth. And on that note, our need for individualism causes us to act out in ways that are dangerous and attention seeking rather than productive.  Why do we simultaneously do nothing to change but cry about how we need it?

I’m guilty of it as well.  I know what needs to be done but I fail to maintain the change.  I know it’s partly because of how I’m wired but it’s also because of all the distraction I allow in my life.  I hadn’t been careful for a long time with the input I was allowing to inundate me.  When you learn to value yourself, you value your time and the things you focus on.  You’re more attentive to how your surroundings impact you and you eliminate the things that don’t serve.

It is in that elimination of the distraction and the extraneous that you define what is important to you and you start to spend more of your time consciously choosing what you want to focus on.  Energy is currency and where you put your attention is where you spend your currency.  If we have that much power over our minds, we have that much power about the lives we want to build.  That freedom means we can build anything we want with our precious time here.

As you change and consciously direct your focus you will see that the biggest cage we put ourselves in is the cage that says we must play the game and become a certain way in the game to be worth anything.  To play the game of building the same life as we have been told without ever questioning why.  The cage of blindly accepting what we are told.  More to come…