“Dare to believe the truth that when you release something, you free up space for new things (and dreams) to grow in you and in your life. The first step to letting go of any good thing is identifying the things that aren’t aligned with what matters most to you,” Jordan Lee Dooley. What a perfect follow up to talking about tradition and legacy and what really matters. Any journey of growth, whether spiritual or personal gets to a point where you evaluate your current state. What matters, what doesn’t matter, who are you really, what do you really want to accomplish, what is your real purpose. I used to love letting those questions circle in my head and to create a fantasy of the kind of person I was that day. I’d inevitably become what I was “supposed” to be and go to work. But there comes a point when that nagging voice doesn’t go away. The whispers of, “There is more, this isn’t it, do something else,” eventually get louder and louder, sometimes to the point where they become a scream. We are born with an internal navigation system that directs us where we need to go—we aren’t meant to ignore it.
Once that voice becomes one you can no longer ignore, the next natural questions come up as indicated in the opening quote: what can I/we let go of that supports what matters most? What can I/we integrate into our lives that is more authentically who I am? How do I support my purpose? Once those answers start flowing in, things start changing. We aren’t designed to support multiple lives at once: we are meant to fulfill our purpose so that means cutting out the things that don’t align or fit with that in some way. If we ask ourselves what really makes us happy, are we prepared to actually do it? Sometimes the way out of what we’ve created is messy. It’s certainly uncomfortable because it isn’t what we know. But as the pieces that no longer fit fall away, we slowly see the space that’s left, the space that’s created in the absence.
We can’t hold on to too many things. That’s why we only have two hands: we aren’t meant to carry it all. We are meant to hold what supports us, who we really are. Dooley’s quote referenced a time in her life when she had to evaluate whether or not she could continue doing something where she was quite successful but not quite fulfilled at the time. There are often things in our lives that seem like they are going well and maybe we get some satisfaction out of it—but if those voices start speaking and asking those questions, even those good things need to be evaluated. Life is a constant evaluation of what fits and what doesn’t, of who we are. I think we are often misled to choose an identity far too young and we create stories to support that even when we outgrow it. I’m telling you, it’s ok. Growth is natural. We aren’t always who we were and we don’t have to be that person if it doesn’t fit. We are simply meant to create space for the deepest facets of our soul to shine through.
Life isn’t about creating an illusion so people think we live or are a certain way. When it comes to tradition as we spoke of yesterday, that’s where we lose sight of who we are if we don’t look at the why behind the action. Those traditions we carry on are someone else’s not our own—so if we are to continue them, we need to learn to ask if they fit the life we are living—not the life someone else wants us to live. This is where the letting go comes in. Even if the patterns we are taught feel safe, if you hear that voice telling you this isn’t it, then it isn’t it. Do not let your potential, your ideas, your purpose go to waste because you don’t have room to see them through. Make the room. Let go of what doesn’t serve. Free up your hands to hold the life you want, to build the life you want. When we empty the nose and the things that no longer fit, it can feel scary because we are used to holding something—sometimes we wonder if we will ever fill up again. As the cycle goes, what is full must empty and what is empty must fill. It’s a constant flow, and we must allow the who we are NOW to be who we are NOW. Free up the space, and allow yourself to fill it with the light of who you are.