“It may seem difficult at first, but everything is difficult at first,” Miyamoto Musashi. Some days are easier than others to get into gear. We feel the flow and we can approach things with ease. Other days it feels like everything is grinding and nothing clicks. I ALWAYS got angry in those moments because I believed that if anything stopped me (or people in general) we were supposed to get mad. I believed that any inconvenience was worthy of giant upset. Now I see that there is purpose in those moments. Those pauses, those breaks in the flow are meant to allow us to recalibrate and incorporate what we’ve learned. A little test, perhaps, to see if we are who we think we are. I can’t tell you how many times I failed that test. But I guess the truth is it doesn’t matter how long it takes us to learn that lesson as long as we learn it.
It amazes me how we are able to live our lives one way while preaching another. I’ve watched people (and I’m guilty of it myself) spin and tell stories of the way things should be, and I’ve heard advice (and offered advice) about what to do when my own life was falling apart. And two things hit me when I read the opening quote: we think life is falling apart when the cracks in the façade we create are too big to cover and it is absolutely easier to point fingers/direct others than it is to take that introspection to self and clean our own houses. The reality is we aren’t able to move forward until we sort our own mess or put it to rest.
90% of the challenges we face are self-created. We carry the weight of everything we’ve done in the past like it’s some kind of trophy and we create busyness to feel a sense of completeness like it validates our worth. All we need to do is redefine what worth is to us and clearly understand what our values are. Once we find what is important to us, the rest falls away. I mean, you can’t be affected by someone else’s opinion if you believe you write your own destiny. Our live is impacted by what we believe and how we are trained to behave. IF we change those beliefs, we can change our lives.
I’ve spent years working on myself because I struggled to find people to help me develop into who I am. That’s partially my fault because I lived in a rut for a long time, believing I simply am this way. When I started breaking that mold, I felt shame because I saw how much of my isolation was self-imposed. It’s an eye opening moment seeing yourself that exposed, understanding that everything is as it is because of you. And it is also one of the most liberating experiences. As we’ve talked about before, if you are able to tell yourself the negative stories, you’re able to change the narrative to something else—anything else you want it to be.
Life feels overwhelming and hard when you aren’t able to keep up with the story you tell others and it’s hard to tell the story when it doesn’t align with who you are. It’s also infinitely easier to be an armchair quarterback and see people’s lives from the outside. We need to take that perspective in our own lives at times. The point is, things are only as hard as we make them. We can choose to let go of all that we’ve carried and all the things we tell ourselves we need to believe and we can rewrite the story or simply tell a new one. The universe is forgiving and it responds instantly to vibration. If you are able to vibrate at a new frequency through feeling a new narrative, you are able to shift where you will end up. Yes, it is difficult at first, but as we algin with who we are, the doing becomes effortless. Just give it time.