Today I am grateful for poor sleep. No, it isn’t something I want to experience often, but I am grateful for the things that kept me up most of the night because those are the things I can work on. Those are the things I need to address in my waking life in order to get where I want to be. Those are the things I can no longer suppress or repress because they aren’t as far beneath the surface as I thought. The hyper-independence isn’t working, the “everything is under control” BS isn’t working, the feeling that everything is falling apart isn’t working. There is a reality between the world of dreams and the imagined failures we feel. There is the day to day where we can close the gap and that is most easily done through acceptance. If it takes a rough night to get a step closer to where I need to be, I will take it.
Today I am grateful for control. I’m not talking the illusion of control because I know it doesn’t exist. I am talking about the level of opportunity and the amount of options we have. We are literally never stuck no matter what it looks like. Yes, some circumstances are harder to remove ourselves from, but we always have the option. In that regard, specific to my brain, I’m grateful to have enough control to come to terms with things that happened. My body is literally running hot with the waves of energy and emotion and it is physically one of the most uncomfortable things I’ve ever felt. But sitting with that discomfort, raw and whole exposes a new approach. No, it isn’t pretty. But we do have a say and in the grand scheme of things, that’s all we need.
Today I am grateful for the infinite chances to start over and try again. We all have moments when we feel like the most terrible person in the world but, in my experience, I have always woken up again the next day to start over again. Rough days come and we have little say in their arrival. We also have little say in what constitutes rough because different things happen at different times. Rough days at work or with our kids or with our partners or families or friends. It was a rough week (and that may have also been part of the issue with last night’s sleep) but I am still awake and still have the chance to start again.
Today I am grateful for routine. So much of the irritability and the anxiety of the last week has been because I’m off of my routine. That’s a story for another day, however, I am so grateful to know this. When we aren’t in alignment with ourselves, even if it is something as simple as listening to affirmations, our world tends to tilt a bit. Getting back to routine, even if it’s only a small step in the right direction, a small reminder of why you started the routine in the first place, that is enough. Having patterns that keep me sane and healthy are essential to functioning. It doesn’t make me weak or basic. It keeps me on a solid foundation.
Today I am grateful for acceptance. This is one of the hardest things to do, especially when coping with anxiety and perfectionism, and quite frankly, just getting through the day in this society. Any opportunity I can work on accepting myself and taking care of who I am at my core is welcome and necessary. It is welcome and necessary for everyone else as well. Any step you can take whether it is feeding yourself healthy food, talking a five minute walk, taking a bath, or even being able to step out and help a friend. Anything you can do to embrace who you are and where you’re at is so necessary. How can you accept yourself more today?
Wishing everyone a wonderful week ahead!