The biggest drug is comfort and I speak from personal experience. You combine a fear of failure or a fear of lack of security and you lose the ability to feel secure in what you’re looking for. You start to settle for what people tell you is enough and you settle for what you’re told is secure. They never tell you it’s also the fastest way to lose touch or sight of your dreams. If all you’re doing is shooting to be comfortable and attain perceived security, then you aren’t working on the bigger picture: your purpose. We are trained to seek safety, that is human nature. But we’ve mistaken comfort as safety. We’ve forgotten that all of that safety can be taken away in a second.
I’ve been fortunate over my life. Yes, I’ve had tragedies like anyone else, but I haven’t truly known hardship on a daily basis. That doesn’t mean I haven’t known loss. I faced loss head on starting at four years old and all the way through my early twenties. I struggle with connection to people and faced extreme bullying. Couple the bullying with the losses, and I often felt my world falling apart because I was alone. Again, I’m fortunate that my needs have been met, I don’t pretend I’m not, but the trauma still creates a response or a proclivity to find safety, and for me safety is comfort.
Always looking for the easy way stifles creativity and seeking comfort steers you away from the opportunities to see things in a different way. In order to grow and develop into the person you are meant to be, you have to be shaped by your experiences. We can’t shy away from what is going to make us who we are and sometimes the things we are trying to avoid are the very things we need to get what we’ve asked for. That’s how it works—it’s our job to trust that it will all make sense even if it doesn’t make sense in the moment. Don’t give up and don’t give in to what you know for the sake of familiarity.
Today I am grateful for perspective. There is a lot going on in the world and it is so easy to either give into the fear or get angry or to feel helpless. The truth is there is a lot I don’t understand about what’s happening and I’m sure many of you are in the same boat. But the perspective we need is this: if we have breath in our bodies we can do something. We can do our part to wake up and spread light and love. We can set a new boundary for what we will and will not tolerate. We can create a new love of humanity and a new standard for how we treat each other. Our job, especially when we feel like we can’t do anything, is to wake up and speak up. We are meant to recognize what is right for everyone and break the chains of what we no is no longer right.
Today I am grateful to have a better understanding of what I need. I’ve been doing a ton of self-reflection and thinking about what “self” means and “purpose” and along with that, “need.” We sometimes fall back into old patterns where we confuse what we want with what we need, we are only human. But when we can take away the extraneous, the things we have been told we need, sometimes it’s at the bottom of the barrel, we find who we are. We have to get really honest about what is an actual necessity and what is merely nice to have or what we’ve used to feel comfortable. Comfort is net a requirement to get through life. No. Our example is. How we work through those hardships speaks to who we are.
Today I am grateful to be awake and to have woken up. As long as we wake up, we still have a purpose, our journey isn’t done. I’m grateful to be healthy, to still have the opportunity to fulfill my role. I’m grateful to spend another day with my family and to have their love and to get to learn from them. To see my son’s curiosity and to see the world through his eyes. I’m grateful to feel the comfort of my husband’s arms and I do not take for granted our ability to be together. I’m grateful to understand the world a bit differently today, and my place in it.
Today I am grateful to learn. I’ve been able to spend the last few days virtually attending a conference for one of my side jobs. It was a truly relevatory experience and taught me a lot. I’ve learned a lot about our purpose and seeing that we can all fulfill our own purpose in the most unexpected of ways. I’ve seen that sometimes we have to take the leap even if we don’t fully understand what we are doing. I’ve learned that we don’t always know what is best for us and that the world can surprise us with exactly what we need as long as we are open to seeing the opportunity. And most importantly, I’ve learned that in order to get anywhere in life, we need to trust. We need relationships and we need help. We can’t go it alone. I mean, we can, but we won’t be able to get the same result.
Today I’m grateful to finally understand the difference between enjoying the journey and the destination. I have more detail on this in a piece I have been working on, but it changes the perspective I’ve lived with. I used to want to get things done and I’ve spoken many times about living life like a check list. There are a couple of issues with living like that. 1 is that we either keep adding things to the list or someone else does—it will never be finished. And 2, the last thing on that list is death. That isn’t something we want to rush toward. We need to learn how to take in what we can while we have the opportunity. There are certain things we don’t want to rush in life. There are things we need to savor. Time passes all too quickly even if we have the same amount of hours in the day. We have to appreciate what we have.
Today I am grateful to be in flow. I’m still not very good at maintaining this yet, but I will appreciate every second that I am able to be present and stay in the moment. Things are changing in my life and I am welcoming them. They are far out of the ordinary for me, but they are exactly what I need. I am grateful to feel the presence of change and to be taking risks and opportunities. I am grateful for the opportunities that are coming my way this week. We are on the precipice of change and I look forward to it. This is the awakening. This is the stepping into identity. This is the stepping up.
Today I am grateful for the privilege of taking care of myself. I’ve been able to take a few days off of my 9-5 and that not only gave me some time to reset mentally, I was able to do some grounding work. Along with finding flow, I’ve been able to release some of the pressure valve. I’ve taken actions over the last few days to set me up in the future and that offer substantial change. I can’t explain it, but I feel so grateful to find these things. I am grateful to be able to take time to work out when I want to and to be able to afford healthy food for myself and my family and to have the time to spend with my family. I’m grateful to have the chance to continue to improve.
“Don’t wait for the dam to break before doing something with your life,” Dennis Franks. There are moments in life where you have to make a decision to either continue how things are or to shake up the course. You have to decide what matters and you have to go after it. You know that it means giving up what you knew in favor of what’s coming. For many of us who suffer with mental health issues, we spend a majority of the time bottling up what we feel and think in favor of making others happy. We lose touch with who we are in favor of what others want us to be. We hold back everything we are because we are so deeply afraid of being rejected. And then the resentment can explode.
We are often waiting for the right moment, a spot in time that makes our desires “ok” where someone won’t be upset or where they will be magically answered somehow. Or like I said earlier, we hold it back so long we end up exploding. We don’t have to wait until we can’t stand it any longer. No. As scary as it is, there is something we can do. And maybe scary isn’t the right word—it’s more a waiting for permission. We don’t need permission to live our lives, we are just trained to believe that we need someone else to tell us it’s ok. The point is, we don’t want to become so overwhelmed with the idea of what we are supposed to do that we pass up on what we are meant to do.
The truth is we are not taught to balance our lives in a way that fulfills our needs and we are certainly not taught honest communication. We are taught manipulation that we call communication and we are taught to stifle the truth in favor of someone else’s feelings. Or we place our expectations on others and then get frustrated when they aren’t met. So in order to avoid that, we need to get honest about our own expectations and get familiar with our needs. We need to act before we explode or gloss over our entire lives. We can’t let opportunities pass us by and miss what we need to learn in favor of thinking we know it all. There is a place inside that tells us when enough is enough. Listen to it.
The real point of this is to do the work before we are so worn out that we can’t do anything else. You wouldn’t let your house fall down around you, you can’t let yourself fall apart either. Do the maintenance. Do the things that recharge you and make you feel good. Do the things that make you come alive. And beyond that, get in touch with the parts of you that need healing—all of them. And work on loving those parts—all of them. Keep yourself strong not just for yourself, but for your sanity and to keep yourself on point to fulfill your purpose. The world needs your light and your gift and you can only do that when you’re functioning at your peak.
So check in often and create self-awareness in whatever way it takes. Whether it’s meditation or trying new things or reaching out to help a friend or even learning to set boundaries with family or friends, do whatever it takes to recognize what works for you, what needs some work, and where you’re going. Don’t let yourself fall apart for the sake of someone else. That is their baggage to carry and you don’t need to waste your time on resentment because it won’t change anything. Life is short, my friends. There is no reason to waste a second of it in shambles. You have the power. Take it back.
I had a beautiful conversation with a coworker of mine the other day. I’ve felt a lot of disconnection from the team lately. The work is still getting done and I am fine with the groups I’m overseeing, but the actual team I’m working with feels distant to me. There are group sessions and discussions where decisions are being made for other team members and I haven’t been included in decisions for my own teams. So when I had this conversation the other day, a light hit loud and clear: this feeling of isolation is not unique to me and the pattern of what is happening at work is the same for both of us. The instant we realized what’s happening, that we aren’t alone, it felt different. There is a distinct pattern for those of us who have a different mindset than those who are working 24/7. To be fair, we are all at different stages in our lives with kids with different needs etc., but we still should not feel that judgement from our team members.
The day after we had this conversation, I felt lighter. I felt heard and seen and my coworker said the exact same thing: we didn’t feel so alone. It’s an empowering thing and a relief to know that you’re not alone and you’re not crazy. It’s also a sad thing to be on the outside of a group that is supposed to be inclusive. Especially when there is an impact to your work and reputation. Just because we go about our assignments differently, it doesn’t mean we are wrong. My job isn’t to be a perfect clone of you or to read your mind: I was hired to lead a specific group and then I have done the best I can with things I literally knew nothing about. My coworker alluded to the same thing.
So on the day after our talk, there was a ruckus in the office—yelling and door slamming, the whole nine yards. The conversation wasn’t heard, but it involved the coworker I had this conversation with. When I was able to touch base with her later, I found out that one of the other people we’ve been having issues with made a really inappropriate comment about the work ethic of my coworker. Instead of taking it in like we have been, my coworker went off on her. And I felt so aligned with her and proud. When you sit on shit for too long all you do is smell and resent it. You can’t let that stuff fester or build and you certainly can’t carry it with you. We all reach our breaking point and it’s unfortunate that we don’t respect each other’s boundaries enough to see what’s really happening or to take in their perspective. We let our assumptions win. This was the line for my coworker.
Previously I would have felt guilty because this is something we normally would have kept quiet. The talk we had was admittedly provocative for both of us in the regard we finally felt supported enough to voice what was happening. I mean, I didn’t personally encourage the blow up, but we definitely encouraged honest expression. And after we reconnected on the blow up, I realized there wasn’t a thing to feel guilty about. Just because we see it differently doesn’t mean we aren’t allowed to express it. It isn’t our job to make the others feel comfortable: it’s our job to bring to light what’s actually happening. We have just as much of a right to express ourselves as they do. I’m happy to identify something that isn’t right and to air it so we can fix what needs to be fixed. Talking about it is the only way to do that. Keeping it inside only fosters resentment, and that isn’t something I choose to carry any longer. So, when the opportunity comes, I highly recommend stirring the pot. If you let it settle, someone is at the bottom and carries that load. That isn’t healthy for anyone. Pot stirrer and proud because that is how you find your path: follow what feels right no matter how uncomfortable it makes others. You are responsible for your life, not theirs.
We go through cycles in life where things seem on the uptick for a while and then they go down. Sometimes they stay down for a while. If that is true for each of us we have to accept it is true for everyone as well. Recently work has taken another little turn. We are all overworked and overwhelmed and we are all responding in different ways. Recently one of the newer team members has taken an active role with some new projects we have and it was brought to my attention that this person (and one other) have some feelings about me not being involved. This one person in particular has even taken to sending me emails with direction when I’ve clearly been uninformed this individual has this “boss” role over me. I was under the impression we are equals—we have the same title. So the conversation with my actual boss implied heavily that there are some of us not doing enough because we don’t volunteer for these projects. In this case, I felt the need to defend myself because the old people-pleasing habits came out—all because this one person felt the need to feel important.
The truth of the matter is I have a different interpretation of the assignment. I took things at face value and they unwound to a point where it truthfully didn’t make sense to me. I’ve done what I can to learn but it isn’t something I do every day. I was hired for a different role and then multiple departments were given to me, so this is a realm I am trying to stay afloat, but there are aspects I simply do not understand. Even if it’s explained to me multiple times, the problem is it still isn’t part of my day to day so it doesn’t stick. Regardless, there is a gross misunderstanding of what I do. My boss said that she thinks it will be valuable to explain the day to day to everyone—which made me angry because I’m in the position to justify my work. My boss should know what I’m doing and I do not keep it a secret.
There is a common misconception that we are responsible for how people perceive us. Nothing about that is true, nor is it possible. It implies we have the power to alter/control other people’s opinions. I think we are well into an age where we can put the onus of how people treat us or see us back on them. I recently heard an audio (I apologize, it wasn’t credited so if you know who it is, let me know) that shifted this perception: “I am not intimidating, you are intimidated, I don’t take up too much space, you’re used to people playing small. My inner light isn’t too bright, you’re just used to dimming your own. I am not mean or aggressive, I am honest and assertive and that makes you uncomfortable. I do not make you uncomfortable, my presence challenges your comfort. None of that is mine.” Now, I don’t claim that we have zero input in how people perceive us. But this takes the responsibility of their perception off of us entirely if we feel the need to explain.
We are taught to play a role and how we are supposed to act in certain circumstances and we accept the ridicule or the judgement of others if we don’t live up to that behavior. There comes a point when we are simply done defending our day to day existence. If you don’t understand something, it is your responsibility to ask questions and figure it out. This is about our self-perception and accepting ownership over what is ours versus what is someone else’s. I am not responsible for you and what you think of me. You ARE responsible for recognizing how you treat me because of the IDEA you have of me. And if that boundary continues to be violated then it is time for us to either have a conversation or go separate ways. We can’t live our lives defending who we are, especially in a work environment. We have a job to do, not popularity to win. So I leave that responsibility with you. I take mine for me and encourage you to do the same.
Following up on coincidences, I wanted to go into depth about No Mistakes. I mentioned the conversation I had with my mentor regarding obstacles. She also shared a mantra: “In my life there are no mistakes.” At first I couldn’t wrap my head around it. Between dealing with obstacles that seem to have no explanation, reconciling what is in our control, and learning from the challenges, this one put me into a state of great pause. The simplicity hit me. And that was yet another coincidence because I had just talked about mindset and the idea of no problem.
If we are able to tie all of that together, we unlock a new flow in our lives. If there are no mistakes, if we are guided by signs (coincidences), if we learn our lessons through experience, if we set the intention and allow, then there is NOTHING to fear. There is no reason to not trust what we are meant to do and whole heartedly jump into our purpose.
The following morning, I used it on the way to work. Things have been a bit challenging there again and (like we all do) I found myself in a funk having to go in. It is so easy for our thoughts to spiral, but I heard my mentor talking about controlling the mind and the responses. Yet another coincidence and a tie to the Silva Method we just talked about. So I interrupted the thought and started saying, “There are no mistakes. You are meant to be on this path and you still have lessons to learn here.” I did it again on the way home when I got out late. I genuinely felt better.
We may not be able to control much but the patterns we’ve talked about and our mind set are definitely in that realm. Again, that isn’t a new topic here, but it’s a nice reaffirmation of that belief. It’s also an appreciation for the fact that it doesn’t happen over night. We have to learn to be patient with ourselves and do the work every day. It isn’t glamorous, but it is foundational and a strong foundation can take you anywhere. There aren’t any mistakes as this life teaches us every day. If something feels like it goes wrong, trust it went right for some reason and stack it as you move up. there are no mistakes.
I shared some stories about coincidences in last Wednesday’s piece, Unagi. I really wanted to go more in depth about the coincidences (that aren’t really coincidences) that keep happening. I have a fabulous mentor for one of my side gigs and we met last week. She graciously and lovingly talked me through some intense things happening in my life and tried to help find viable solutions to some of what I was carrying. She told me that it’s time to really integrate and believe the messages I’m sharing because it’s easy to spout that to someone else but it’s another thing to live from that place. She also talked about obstacles and learning to apply them as an opportunity (not an unfamiliar subject here). I don’t know if it is a level of delusion or what, but I had to take a moment and understand that yes, that will apply to my life as well. If we want to grow, we will face obstacles—and that includes me. The next day, I drew the cards and “Obstacles” came up. That was complete affirmation of everything she told me.
I’m now done with both Greenlights and The Archer. I follow an inspirational group for a good morning pep talk and they were relaying a story about the Silva Method. This is essentially a technique developed in the 50’s by Jose Silva to tap into different energy levels of the brain and increase “psychic” abilities. I don’t totally think that type of thing is BS because I truly don’t believe in coincidences—I believe they are SIGNS and meant to be. It isn’t just a statistical anomaly, that is a message. Regardless, this talk resonated as it relates to brain waves and the science behind thought so I kept listening. As it went on, they suddenly started talking about Matthew McConaughey, specifically his quote about the target drawing the arrow. We are always meant to be exactly where we are.
There is SOMETHING linking us all together and there are signs in the places you least expect them. The talk I was listening to was so obscure and mentioned a technique I had never heard of and was still tied to something I had just experienced. I had no way of knowing this individual had a conversation like that with the actor and author of the book I had just read. A book about devouring life through sticking the course and having faith. About setting intentions and believing so deeply there is no choice but for those visions to come to fruition. For trusting what we are shown and knowing that even if we don’t see it now, if we can’t touch it now that we are right where we are supposed to be. These things are what makes coincidence validation. That gives me enough belief in the universe to trust that no matter what happens, it is exactly as it is meant to be—there are no mistakes.
I want to talk about the opportunity to live. There are reasons we are so sad when we lose a loved one or a pet. Yes, life is too short no matter how much time we have, but what makes it more painful is that, as we lose people/pets/things, we realize that we never really lived when we had the chance. We spend our time trying to create identities and trying to be liked. We tell stories we don’t even believe in order to fit in and we spend our time fulfilling other people’s dreams before our own. I’m talking about fulfilling expectations from our parents as well as our jobs/school/friends…anyone else. Then as our time dwindles, or when we unexpectedly lose someone close to us, we start looking at what we are doing differently. We question how we spend our time. we ask where our value really lies and the value of the life we are living.
As I wrote yesterday’s piece about our purpose and not having to fulfill some grand idea of what we are meant to do, the idea of a plant just sitting there being enough struck me. I mean, duh, I shared it. But the point really got me thinking about purpose. Plants literally do nothing more than sit there and go through their entire life cycle in one place. That is all they are meant to do yet are vital to our existence. We live in a society that glorifies beauty and gain so much so that we’ve lost touch with the quiet beauty of what is. We protect the image over the reality because we are afraid the reality won’t be deemed worthy. We project those fears on others and self-reject before they can hurt us. Because the truth is, it’s a fine line of wanting to be accepted and putting on a show. Our lives aren’t a performance piece but the quality is determined by what we do with it.
I sincerely hope that these words resonate and encourage a journey of self-love so powerful that our foundation is unshakeable in our purpose. That people remember who they are IS enough and that the simple things can be so much greater than the big production we deem necessary to be worthy. I want people to live a life where their joy and purpose mutually fulfills themselves and others. That may mean accepting where we are isn’t where we can stay, we need to find that environment that nourishes and supports our growth. It also means that trusting WHO we are will bring us where we are meant to be even if it doesn’t feel like it.
Most importantly, I don’t want you to live a life half assed. Don’t twist yourself into a knot trying to be everything to everyone and then blink and it’s almost over. No. Take every delicious bite of what life has to offer you and know you are worth it. Enjoy. Laugh. Take the pictures, sing the damn song (yes even if you’re off key), dance when you don’t know the rhythm because moving your body is joy (and you still CAN). Appreciate everything you have while you are here because there is no wasted breath. Don’t wait to live until you can’t. Don’t live a life laid out before you from someone else and call it living. The time is now. LIVE Life.
Today I am grateful for all of the support in my life. There are so many times I allow myself to fall into some sort of despair over one thing or another. Times I feel truly alone and empty and sad, like the course I’m on is so bent it can never get where it was meant to go. But then the universe delivers something: a message, a sign, a person who reminds me of our universal purpose and that we each have a role in it, even me. I am specifically grateful for the support and patience of those who have helped me work through some obstacles I’ve held closer to me than the goals I’ve been working toward. These people are gifts in this world and I do not take that for granted.
Today I am grateful to give back. There are times I’ve felt incredibly selfish in my world because I feared that I wouldn’t get mine. I’ve held onto things because I’ve passed on opportunities in hopes it would come back only to see effort go unreturned. I’ve drained myself for the sake of others only to be blamed for my exhaustion. And today I say: they were right. I relied on others to fill my cup because I did the same for them. I didn’t know about healthy exchange of energy. Now as my health and my sanity move that one degree in the right direction, I retain the energy that is mine and allow myself to feel full and embrace life. I allow myself to give to those who need it without depleting myself.
Today I am grateful to feel excitement again. Regardless of my role in it, I have felt incredibly depressed the last few months. It takes a lot of soul searching to simultaneously look past the past and take ownership of the future. The demands we put upon ourselves without really understanding why drain us to the point of no return if we let it. And it will continue to happen until we decide it’s enough. When we send the message that we are unworthy or that we have to earn our place, the universe will deliver those circumstances. When we get excited about our lives and celebrate the opportunities, that is what comes to us. I’m learning to believe what is coming is better than what was, and to gracefully respect and appreciate the past while letting it stay there. That is how we get excited for the future.
Today I am grateful for love. Sometimes we need reminders that love is truly the way. Spending time with my family is my favorite way to dive into that feeling. We’ve been building things together lately and spending time connecting with each other. I’ve been letting go of my fears with time and simply enjoying the moments I have—that is another act of love. Being present and enjoying what we are doing rather than needing to be somewhere else.
Today I am grateful to get back in the kitchen. I’ve been re-evaluating my goals and the things I need to do and that includes keeping on track with my health. I spent some time today meal prepping again and it felt good. I even made some healthy treats for the family which they loved. It often feels like there isn’t enough time to do all the things we want to do, and when we are high functioning in certain areas, self-care tends to go to the way side. I know it does for me, at least. So taking the time to get back and create foundational meals for myself is a way of showing myself the love and care I need. It allows me to do my best for others because I’m taking care of me.
I’ve heard the adage about not blaming the plant for not blooming and changing the environment it is in—I’ve written about it here before. I’ve heard it applied to other people as well. Today, I heard it applied to SELF. If we aren’t blooming, we have to examine our environment. We have to be discerning enough to know what works for us and what doesn’t. We have to be sincere enough in our boundaries and our purpose to maintain them and to leave. Maybe not sincere, but clear. Also firm enough to stick with it. I’ve also heard and written about the same thing when it comes to saying loving words to plants and the impact it has on their growth. I’ve heard it applied to other people. What if we apply that to ourselves as well? I mean, it isn’t new or revolutionary, but truly believing and integrating what it means to take care of yourself and to love yourself is really hard to do. We still feel selfish to love who we are because we always think we need to be what someone else tells us.
We over commit and we want to be liked and we have trauma and we have false beliefs about our worth. That is a lot of shit to break down to break through. But getting THERE makes it so much better. The universe responds to us. if we love ourselves, we grow. When we grow, we swerve our purpose. And don’t confuse your purpose with your value and your worth. Our purpose is a deeply personal thing—that is why it’s called OUR purpose. A plant literally just sits there but without them we die. A plant doesn’t want to rule or be more grand than the plant next to it: it wants to root and photosynthesize and bloom when it needs to let out the beauty it has inside. We don’t need to achieve anything other than serving our purpose—and again, that is different for everyone. Some people are meant to be in the limelight so they can entertain, some people are meant to be the life of the party. Others are meant to more delicately spread/share what we have to say.
We are in an interesting time when it comes to self-love. We are smack in the middle of a transition between a generation who emphasized group love but never truly applied it to all people, yet their actions were still rewarded and supported as long as they fit the “appropriate mold” and a generation so focused on internal issues that we have had to redefine identity. I’ve said here a million times that self love isn’t selfish. I’ve also written about how, if we are going to have those types of expectations of people that we can’t expect them to be mind readers and adapt to everything we expect because that is when our journey through identity becomes selfish. But the problem is, we are the result of a generation that didn’t learn true love—they learned conditional love. They were valued based on their production, not their existence. And now we have a generation that comes in and says me just being here is enough. And the ironic part is there is truth to both, we just need to tweak the messaging.
OUR EXISTENCE IS ENOUGH AS LONG AS WE FULFILL THE PURPOSE WE WERE BROUGHT HERE FOR, NOT SOMEONE ELSE’S. Before you get all worked up, let me explain. The generation before us was right in the regard we do need to work and we do need to be productive. But the upcoming generation is right in that production has no value if it isn’t what we know we are meant to do. That doesn’t mean acquiring things, it means sharing the gifts we have openly. When we spend our time doing what others expect of us we build resentment because we miss out on the life we are supposed to have. Again, not that we are all supposed to have grand materialistic lives in the spotlight, but when we waste our days in a cubicle staring at computer screens trying to make the guys above us rich when the universe is telling us to get out there and make some art for people to appreciate, we know we can miss our shot.
It’s time to find the middle ground. Let’s create a place where we are able to sustain ourselves based on who we are. Let’s create a reality where we redefine value. Value isn’t determined by money. That’s a hard one to swallow for some people. Value isn’t determined by likes or by attention. Value is a deeply personal thing. The truth is we have the most valuable thing the second we are brought into this world: life. Life is infinitely full of possibility and potential. For some of us we’ve had a lifetime of “no” and thinking that ANYTHING outside the box of what we are supposed to do is selfish. I’m here to say it’s selfish to NOT share what we are meant to do. It’s selfish to not share the expression of who we are because someone needs that light. They need YOU. And most importantly, you need you. You can’t be a watered down version of yourself and expect to shine. No. Embrace the wholeness and love every aspect of who you are. That is when you grow.