Reasons to Take That Chance

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“Go ahead, you never know what can be on the other side”  Life is too short and there are too many options for us to constantly play it safe.  There is no reason to not go after what it is we want most in the world.  90% of the fears we feel we were taught or are in our own head so it stands to reason that if our own limitations are what stops us then we need to learn to get beyond those limits.  Nansia Movidi says, “Be true to yourself and watch how captivating life really is.  How beautifully everything aligns just for you.”  I truly believe that when we find what we are meant to do that authenticity radiates to the universe and shows us the next step.  We wouldn’t be given the idea to pursue an action if we weren’t capable.  Step out of your own way and see what happens.

Speaking from experience, I can say that everything changes once you take a chance on yourself.  All it took for me to garner some confidence was actually seeing my dream through and pushing the “publish” button on my first post.  I did it with minimal knowledge of how to maintain a blog or even the direction it would be going in but I still did it. The point is to take that action whether you are an expert or a novice.  You learn a ton from taking that first chance.  There is a huge stigma about being our own cheerleaders as if it is something to be ashamed of.  Like we aren’t allowed to take action until we have approval that we are good enough.  Trust me, most of those who are pointing critical fingers your way are those who didn’t take a chance on themselves.

You don’t need permission to do something you love.  No one has the right to tell you what is good enough or what you should be doing.  And quite frankly, we only get one ticket on this ride so make it count and take the chance you want to experience what you want to experience.  There isn’t a right time or place, there is only what we have in front of us and where we are at.  We can either work with that and take the steps to get where we want to be or we can stagnate.  I believe we are meant to experience magic while we are here and we have lost sight of that because we are taught to see value in things, not experiences.  The fact that we are here at all is magic and we shouldn’t take it for granted.

People so often regret the things they didn’t do while they had the chance so don’t wait for someone to tell you it’s ok.  You are here right now and you can make it happen and the right people will always find you to help your dreams along the way.  Don’t think that you need to wait for everything to be perfect before you try something new.

This life is a gift.  Don’t waste it being part of a broken machine.  Take the time to get honest with yourself and see what ignites you.  Once you see that little spark inside, there is no going back.  Life on the other side of what you fear is a whole new ballgame.  The opportunities we see when we let go of what we think has to happen are far greater than what we contrive in our minds.  We can always add value to where we are by being who we are meant to be.  Don’t ever think that what you do isn’t a gift or isn’t needed.  There are always people who need your input and the message you deliver speaks to them.

So, be the flame, be the instigator, ignite your life and let your spark shine.  Don’t be afraid of what other people say because if they think you’re too bright, they aren’t meant for you.  Take your time and don’t let anyone hold you back.  Be authentic.  Be real.  Just be who you are meant to be without fear, shame, or concern for whether or not it is the right thing.  You can’t go wrong when you are authentic and of service to those around you.

Change of Plans

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Photo by James Wheeler on

I had a post prepared and ready to go for tonight but I realized that I needed to do something different.  Today was an incredibly challenging day.  Short version is that it started with feeling just slightly off—a little out of alignment.  Nothing that couldn’t be fixed and I didn’t let it weigh me down in the slightest.  As the day progressed, a series of events unfolded that I couldn’t make up if I tried.  I felt myself giving in and ready to wallow in it.  I even started asking what on Earth I do that attracts this kind of stuff.  Then it hit me:  I give into it.  Even though I maintained my cool through the first 10 crises, I couldn’t keep a brave face after that and I started to speak negatively, “knowing” more bad things were coming.  So they did.  It truly took me until now to see that.  In the spirit of ending this day on a positive note, I believe that some gratitude is needed.

Today I am grateful to breathe.  In spite of all the complaining and frustration today, I have air in my lungs and I have a functioning body.  I still have the opportunity to turn things around and create a life I love.

Today I am grateful for my friend’s happiness.  A good friend of mine received some amazing news that she shared with me today.  Hearing how happy she is made me feel amazing for her and so grateful that she chose to share this news with me.  Even with all the icky-ness in the world, there is still a lot of room for good things.

Today I am grateful for my husband.  Even though he couldn’t help me solve the issues that arose throughout the day, he still helped me in his own way.  He made food for me and took care of our son while I decompressed and took a shower.  It didn’t change anything that happened, but it gave me enough time to take the edge off.

Today I am grateful for my son.  Parenting is challenging—my word it is SOOOO challenging.  But that little human is a heart-weasel and he makes me laugh (probably at things I shouldn’t find funny) and he knows how to have fun.  He knows how to show love.  His little hugs are the biggest source of warmth, love, and kindness I know and I am lucky to have that.

Today I am grateful for divine intervention.  With all of the “no” that happened today, with all of the challenges, this is an opportunity for me to look at this as a redirection.  Clearly the path I was going down was not right for whatever reason.  I know I did my best and I worked from a place of the highest good for all.  This is, perhaps, an opportunity to focus on the areas that I’ve struggled with all along and approach this from a new angle.  An opportunity to work on the areas that I still need to develop as a leader.

Today, more specifically tonight, I am grateful to have the chance to start again-now.  I will keep breathing, I will keep gratitude at the forefront of my mind, and I will keep moving forward.  I will work toward my goals and not let the setbacks get to me.  I will not take other people’s insecurities personally.  I will take the lesson and turn it around.  I will let go and let the rest fall where it needs to, and I will begin again.

Tonight I am grateful for rest.  I’m taking the rest of the evening to put everything aside and get clear with myself.  I am going to spend time with my son and then I am going to read.  Maybe cap the night off with some junk T.V.  After that I am going to sleep and let it all go away.  The day is done—I am not.  😊

Growth as Adaptation

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“Learning to unlearn, growing to outgrow” Roxanne Vibes.  I’ve never made it a secret that I spent most of my life as a control freak.  I adamantly wanted certain things to be a certain way because it made sense to me so I did what I had to do to make that happen.  I’m not proud of it, but I felt like things were supposed to be a certain way and I felt comfortable when that happened.  We all have our reasons for behaving as we do and sometimes it takes a long time to own up to it.  For me it started with a general feeling of discomfort when the day to day stopped feeling good. I subconsciously started looking for other things to control and that quickly stopped feeling good too. I noticed that a lot of the things that should have been routine for me and things that should have gone off without a hitch started falling apart.  When it became a pattern of things just not going according to plan, the frustration escalated to the point where I knew I had to re-evaluate.

It was a learning point for me because I understood that people operate from their point of understanding so what makes sense to me may not make sense to them.  I had to learn that it wasn’t my job to control people.  If I’m honest it never really worked anyway.  That understanding made me look at the pattern of my life so far.  It made me look at what else needed to shift for me.  The behaviors we take with us, including our control issues, are learned.  That means we can make the choice to change them.  We have to unlearn patterns we’ve repeated for years.  And that is a process.

The desire to change has to be greater than the comfort of repeating what we know.  The life on the other side of our known patterns is so much bigger than what we have in our safety zone.  Our comfort zones feel good until they suffocate us.  When we learn to lean into the discomfort of learning something new, we open up our space just a little more.  Practicing to grow beyond our comfort zones will lead us where we need to be with each choice we make that aligns with the decision to move forward.  It is reinforced with every yes or no we say.

It takes time to recognize our part in the results of where we are at in our lives.  We are afraid of the power we have in our own lives because it means we are accountable for something.  This often manifests in a couple of ways: 1. We often spend more time telling other people what they should or shouldn’t be doing than looking at what we are doing.  2. We become hyper-critical about ourselves without taking action on it.

We all fall into both categories at one time or another because for the former, it’s easier to look at what other people are doing wrong because we see it from the outside.  We don’t take the time to look at the entire situation surrounding their actions and we are now trained to assume the worst in people.  For the latter, it’s easy criticize ourselves when things don’t match what our perception of them says they should be.  For example, we have no issue complaining about the way we look but we don’t discuss that we eat like crap or that we stopped working out or that we don’t sleep more than three hours a night.  Which leads to the next point which is that it’s easy to play victim, it’s hard to take ownership.  But shifting that perspective makes all the difference in the world.  That ownership is a reclamation of our power.

It is far more satisfying to operate from a place of knowing the patterns you need to break than it is to continue to move feeling like you have no other choice.  There is freedom in that because when you’re a victim you have no options.  When you look at your actions in the situation, you know you can change that.  There is power with accountability.

Sunday Gratitude

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Today I am grateful for the pause.  It has been a particularly busy week and I feel blessed today to have some fun.  The family and I were able to go to a fishing expo and walk around doing something we normally don’t do: look at boats, meet with some local fishers, and explore some options for future things we might like to do together as a family.

Today I am grateful for trying new things, specifically new recipes.  I’ve been incredibly focused on trying to prepare healthy recipes for myself for the week and today I got to put together a beautiful tofu stir fry.  I have bigger health goals in mind but it makes me feel good to be maintaining this first one because I’m working on re-wiring my brain to eat healthier foods consistently.  The little things, like the hour or so it takes to meal prep makes all the difference.  It also feels good because the meals have been turning out really well 😊

Today I am grateful for different perspectives.  I got to listen to one of the people from a local group my husband follows and it was pretty cool to hear as well as see the results of a team that works together on a project that yields results.  Not that I didn’t have an ideal team built in my mind previously, but it’s still cool to see how different teams pull together based on what they are trying to achieve.

Today I am grateful to open up to possibilities.  As a rigid person who is content with set routines, it’s challenging for me to sway too far from the norm.  Seeing the group I mentioned above, however, was a close-to-home demonstration of how it’s really done.  It also gave me a goal of working on a project with my husband that isn’t necessarily related to the house or bills but on something creative we build together. Seeing how the natural progression of any goal sways and dips and picks up is a reminder that life is always in flux so there’s not a set way to achieve a goal.

Today I am grateful for the reminder to live within my means.  There is no need to continually strive for things upon things because that takes away from the bigger goal.  When all we focus on is getting the next thing, we lose sight of the goal because the goal becomes about getting things.  At this stage in my life I want something more meaningful than the acquisition of crap we will ultimately have to get rid of.

Today I am grateful for simplifying.  When it comes to living within our means, recognizing what you can do with what you have right now is a valuable tool.  We truly don’t need as much as we think we do and the space created from getting rid of all the clutter is even more valuable.  As life ebbs and flows, there is a need to leave room to move with those shifts.  Prioritizing what is useful and what is extraneous and eliminating the excess is a release.  I always wanted to be prepared for any event but I see now that when the need arises, there is usually a way that presents itself, so there’s no need to clutter up with things that may only be needed some day.

Today I am grateful for small breakthroughs.  I’ve been working so hard on changing the basics of my life while maintaining what I’m doing and it’s been a challenge because it’s like living straddling two lanes.  I’ve finally reached the point where I can’t stretch any longer and I actually feel ok with it.  It’s the realization that to make the change I have to fully commit and just start doing what I know I need to do—make the change and stick with it.  It’s so easy to say we have to do things but we always take some comfort knowing we can always revert back to our old ways.  In order to get any real advance, we have to commit and not let ourselves slip because every action, decision, or non-decision is a choice toward a new life or repeating the old.  I want to embrace the new so I have to do that.  It means letting it all go and not worrying that it was the wrong choice.

Today I am grateful for the basics.  We really have everything we need—a home, clothes, food, and water.  The rest is just gravy and I am incredibly grateful that we are able to do that.  It feels good knowing I don’t have to search for something more or try to fill up with more junk.  I can let go of the distraction of trying to get that last thing that will mean I, we, made it.  I can enjoy it and just feel satisfaction.  Yes, I still have goals of making our lives more comfortable but I am in a position where we can actively start doing that and it is a privilege.

Today I am also grateful for the coziness of being inside.  It has turned into an extremely chilly and gloomy day so it’s comforting to be inside and cuddled up with a couple of cats while I’m working on this.

Sometimes the Truth Hurts

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Photo by Aaron Ulsh on

My husband is struggling tonight because he has come to the conclusion that he is the problem because people that were supposed to be our friends excluded him for the last two consecutive weekends (the same people, in fact who did not include me several weeks ago). I see his heart breaking because he truly cared for these people and they blatantly used him for what he could give them.  This has happened frequently in both of our lives but to have it happen from this particular couple is more tender to some degree.  It hurt me when this happened a few weeks ago as well, but I have had some time to work through how I really felt about it and I also have a lot of practice with reflecting and looking at the situation to understand my role in it and what happened.  My husband doesn’t have that much experience there.  He has a kind heart and he takes these things personally.  This is something he hasn’t learned truly has nothing to do with him.

It is human nature, and far more prevalent in this day and age, to be self serving and not consider another person in one’s decisions.  My husband has spent most of his life simply looking for approval and inclusion.  He has been looking for love.  I don’t want to go into too many of his details because that is his information to share when he is ready, but he has always done things looking for connection.  I told him that this is something we need to work through together because, while we have our differences, we have always come back to each other.  WE are on the same team.

That is the point.  Sometimes you have to weed through the crappy relationships until you are able to find your real team.  We spend more time thinking about how to impress people trying to develop a crowd thinking that the more people we have around us will keep us from feeling lonely or shitty about ourselves when in reality what we need is the real connection from having people who understand us and want to see us win.  Sometimes it’s really quality over quantity and that can be a painful lesson to learn. But it is a lesson we need to know.

Support comes from people who see us at our most vulnerable and don’t shy away from it.  It is from the people who lift us up and enjoy our success because they are happy we succeeded, not because of what they reap from it.  Support comes from the people who see us at our highest and lowest points and welcome it all with open arms.  They understand that we aren’t stuck as one person and that we will change—and they will change with us.  These are the people we should strive to have around us.

This isn’t something I can force my husband to understand.  He needs to come to the understanding himself and realize his own worth.  No matter how many times I say it, he has to learn to believe it.  This is something universal.  Once we are strong enough to understand our gifts and our worth, we no longer have the patience to sit at tables where we aren’t valued or truly cared about.  This takes time with ourselves and being willing to embrace who we are.  Sometimes we want to believe that people are something they are not and we lose.  But that is a reflection on their character, not ours.  Stay true to who you are and the right team will come.

Beginnings and Endings

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I’ve been blessed to have the time to work through some incredibly personal things over the last few months, to start doing work I love, to plan and begin implementing an incredibly exciting year, and to define clearly what I’m working for.  I’ve also been blessed to work through some difficult relationships.  Though they haven’t turned out how I thought they would, they have turned out how they were meant to be.  It has been a test of my resolve to maintain my boundaries and it has impacted my relationships with these people.  A few things are still in the works with them, and it’s leading me to understand that regardless of the outcome, the relationships are changed and they will not go back to what they once were.

With that in mind, I started really thinking about beginnings and endings.  Specifically the beginnings that come FROM endings.  See, when we are with people in our lives in a certain role for an extended period of time (or even our entire lives in some cases) we begin to behave in the expected way, and when the dynamic shifts it can be a scary thing.  It’s sad.  For me I feel like there was the before and then this moment happens, whatever it may be, and then there is the after.  There’s no going back.  Trusting in the universe, we have to know it’s always for the better,  but people sometimes leave after those pivotal moments and it is lonely and painful and it is a loss.  We have to gather our bearings and reacclimate to this new way.  Those endings contain a poetic, tragic, beauty.

You can’t move forward until you let go.  Sometimes you let go without resolution to the situation.  Sometimes in the middle of a sentence.  Sometimes it happens when it was all going right.  And this kind of letting go also means letting go of the ideas of what could have been.  THAT is the part that gets to most of us.  If you’re on the sentimental side like me, that is what crushes me.  I see the potential and when I feel it drift away I feel lost and confused about how that potential fades.  I’ve learned that sometimes we just have to accept and learn to live with the pain of that loss.  That doesn’t mean I’m good at it, believe me.  Dealing with changes in two of my most significant relationships over the last month has left me raw and open in a way I’m not comfortable with. But I know that I have no control over how this goes because it is firmly in the other people’s courts.  And yes, that still spikes my anxiety, but this is where the letting go comes in: the potential is not tangible.

When we learn to let go of what we hoped for, we step firmly into what IS.  We can work with what IS.  Regardless of how messy, sharp, painful, idealized, unformed, raw, or clear the reality of the situation is, we can work with it because THAT is what’s real.  You can’t build on what isn’t there so take what exists and be there with it.  For me this is something that hurts too because I often find myself thinking, “If they only did x, everything would be just fine.”  It always seems simple in my mind but the truth is that human relationships are incredibly complex.  Most of us don’t even have healthy relationships with ourselves let alone other people.  And people don’t always play by our rules.  It may not be so simple to them.  They can choose to not participate in how you see it going.  They may not want to be a player in your game.  They may decide to run their own show.

The truth is there is only one constant in life: it ALL changes.  The only thing we can do is learn to accept what is with grace and confidence and keep in mind the person we want to be.  When you release the weight you’ve held on to in hopes of a certain outcome, you allow the life you are meant to have come rushing forward.  Life blooms again.  And in the sadness of what has to end lies the beauty of what is beginning again.  And it never would have if you remained attached to the decaying branch of what you thought it should be.  The real flower is infinitely more beautiful than what we can draw.



Photo by Juan Pablo Serrano Arenas on

We live in a constant state of distraction.  I could get into the chemical reactions that are actually taking place but the simple truth of the matter is we are addicted.  As a society we have set a standard of activity without looking at productivity and have glorified movement without cause.  We believe that we need to be busy for the sake of being busy.  We’ve never stopped to consider something different and we do it because we are used to it.  We do it because we think we have to.

In discussing this with a friend today, we talked about the pattern of how we are fed what we are “supposed” to do from a young age.  We never question the pattern of eat, sleep, work, bills, buy shit we don’t need, repeat until we die.  Unless or until we start to feel like something is off.  Even then, we try hard to stifle that feeling with more consuming or creating unhealthy habits.  For me, that feeling resulted in lots of control issues, some anger, lots of fear, tons of anxiety, some over eating, and constantly questioning my worth/who I am.  There wasn’t one moment that triggered me, but a successive series of things that made me realize that I didn’t want to continue living like that.

So, the only thing that helped me in that moment was…..nothing.  Well, that’s not quite true.  It was more the act of STOPPING.  It was refusing to repeat the same patterns for a time and being still.  It’s still something I struggle with because my mind is pretty active (for the positive and the negative) but learning to recognize the busy mind for what it is (mismanaged thoughts) and to pause really helps.

In stopping and getting quiet, it’s a chance to hear what is inside.  For me I heard loud and clear that I needed to redirect my energy and reconsider my value.  I relied on validation from other people and I put in so much effort toward doing what made them happy rather than building a foundation for myself.  I had to establish trust with myself.  Trust that I could make the right decisions.  Trust that things would work out how they were meant to.  Trust that I would find the support of those who really wanted to be with me and wouldn’t just use me for their own purposes.

From my experience working through this, I know it is something that has to be continually replayed in our minds.  It isn’t a one shot thing.  It’s a constant effort until you learn to trust that you’re ok in this new state of not relying on anyone to make you feel a certain way.  Stopping and getting quiet shows you what is really important in your life.  Beyond the things, beyond the bills, beyond whatever it is you’re using to distract you from the fear that you can’t achieve what you want doing what you love.

The truth is we have lost the value of the pause because we allow ourselves to get distracted.  The pause makes a lot clear including steps we need to take to get us closer to our goals.  So much more is attainable than we allow ourselves to believe because we have been trained to think we have to have it all at once or there is no value to it.  Learning to take it slow and take things one bite at a time still gets us the same result in the end.  Don’t become so obsessed with the final result that you lose sight of the small victories that it took to get there.  And don’t get so distracted by the little things we are told to focus on that you give up before you get what you want.  Keep going.  One step at a time if needed, but keep going.

Self-Acceptance in Action

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Photo by Eternal Happiness on

Following up to yesterday’s post, I wanted to practice what I preach and share a tool I use with you.  It’s a truly simple tool but I find it quite effective.  It’s uncomfortable at first, especially if you’re used to negative self-talk, but it’s worth it and becomes easier the more often you try it.  The practice is simple:  write out a list of what you love about yourself.  If you’re not comfortable talking about loving yourself, start with what you like about yourself.  So this is one of my first lists and I kept it simple.  Feel free to adapt something like this for yourself and let me know how it works for you! Share the list too, if you’re comfortable!

I’m smart

I’m fun

I’m driven

I’m joyful

I’m capable

I’m worthy

I’m accepting of others

I’m loving

I’m fair

I’m kind

I’m direct

I’m honest

I see the best in people

I’m resilient

I’m strong

I’m a leader

I speak my mind but look for the facts

I own my faults and responsibility

I’m growing

I always do my best

So this is something that you can practice every day.  These are the little reminders about what makes you great and it is a good start at getting comfortable with self-acceptance.  Use these as affirmations in the morning.  A little bit of positivity goes a long way and starting your day with a reminder of your awesomeness is a great step in the right direction.  Give it a try and feel free to share your results!


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Photo by Simon Migaj on

Fully embracing who we are is a challenge at the best of times.  When we are on shaky ground it’s even more of a challenge.  We are such multi-faceted beings and we have such a deep sense of “self,” moreso than any other animal, that we complicate our existence.  To do our best in the world, we have to understand our purpose.  Beginning to embrace who we are is about knowing who you are in the moment, beyond the physical sense—it’s getting to the core.  What do you enjoy?  What gives you meaning?  Where do you stand on issues of the world?  It’s owning your weirdness and doing the things that make you happy.  Embracing who we are also means reconciling our past and accepting it.  If you’re like me, you feel tense at the idea of your past and you cringe at the memory of all of your mistakes.  A resounding, “I was such an idiot” or “I can’t believe I did that” usually follows and that leads us down the slippery slope of negative self-talk about things that happened long ago.

As a first step, I’m learning that I can’t change the past but I can befriend it and make it a part of me and I can lovingly let it go.  This is more than the old adage of accepting it and learning lessons.  This is the application of understanding it has no further impact on you now.  That when we rehash the past, we are bringing forward the same feelings we felt in the moment it happened.  Our mind doesn’t know the difference between what is happening and what has happened because we are bringing it to the forefront of our minds again.  So when the reaction is emotional or painful, learn to make peace with it.  Learn to express that you were operating with what you knew at the time—and that isn’t who you are now.  Forgive yourself as much as you need to.

When you’re raised with guilt as a driving force, you become critical of everything and take it all to heart.  You find fault in nearly everything you do.  That takes a lot of retraining and focused effort to keep yourself off that path.  It takes a lot of convincing to understand that being imperfect isn’t a crime and that most people don’t live mired in guilt.  But it’s doable.  Living with guilt is like living with a 20 ton weight chained to your neck.  When you start chipping at that weight, the release can feel equally as uncomfortable because you’re learning a new reality.  So forgive everything, including the guilt.

We will learn quickly that it is much easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to get precious time back again.  Use your time well, and use it as you see fit.

In general, self-acceptance is about understanding that you were raised by people of a different era and what held true for them doesn’t have to hold true for you—we’re all a little screwed up.  Furthermore, they didn’t know what they were doing 90% of the time either so don’t feel like you have to have it all figured out—we’re all just winging it because no one knows the answer of how to live.  The point is we do better when we know better.  So forgive yourself for not knowing better when it happened because you CAN’T change that anyway.  You can change what happens going forward so focus on that.  Self-acceptance is also about letting go of blame whether it’s your parents or siblings or whoever else may have impacted you.

Don’t worry about what happened and that becomes easier as we develop an appreciation and acceptance for what is.  It’s easier to work with the tangible, what is in front of us than it is the hypothetical and the what-ifs.  Deal with what is actually happening in the moment.  Understand that you don’t have to be what other people think you should be or some version of yourself that isn’t you for the sake of anybody.  Approaching life from that vantage point allows for a more authentic experience and that is all we can ask for.

So, the short version is understand where you’re at by connecting with what is innate to you.  Let go of the pieces of the past that no longer serve.  Let go of the past as they are things we can’t change.  Make peace with it and forgive, and forgive again.  Let go of anyone else’s expectation of who you are supposed to be.  No one can tell you that.  Take the time to connect with yourself and go from there.  We get one life—live it to your expectation, no one else’s.

Sunday Gratitude

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Photo by Louis on

Today I am grateful for a warm house I can be cozy in.  Winter in all of its glory has hit and I am truly grateful to have a home I can curl up in and keep my family safe.  I know many others are dealing with issues that prevent them from having that type of security and I do not take it for granted.

Today I am grateful for time away from my 9-5.  In all honesty, I enjoy my job.  But I know that over the last few weeks I haven’t been able to focus as well as I should have because I have other things on my mind.  I’m not sure what happened precisely (except a LARGE amount of journaling and posting) but I feel like I’ve made some progress over the last few days and have been able to let go of some of the pressure I’ve been feeling.

Today I am grateful to begin shedding the emotional weight I’ve been carrying.  So much of what I’ve been talking about over the last few days are things that I’ve held onto for many years.  I didn’t realize how tight the cage I created was until I began experimenting with putting some of it away and leaving other parts of it behind.

Today I am grateful for silly things and family time.  We were able to buy some different textured putties and some games today and it was awesome.  I got to play with my son and it honestly relieved some stress.  Completely worth the few bucks to bring a smile to my son’s face and to bring out some play for me.  There is value in going back to basics sometimes and it doesn’t require a lot to have fun.  We definitely can’t be all work and no play.  There is so much value in play, creatively and emotionally—and value emotionally FROM being creative.

Today I am grateful for rest.  I used to feel like I had to go and go ALL the time.  I viewed any down time as a waste of time.  Then I started thinking about the work I was doing and started questioning the value in it.  What use is all of that activity if it isn’t productive?  As I get closer and closer to defining what it is I’m working toward, I feel my body getting more and more relaxed, my mind is getting more and more relaxed.  I feel like this is what happens when you get into alignment.  You’re better able to go with the flow and look at what is really happening.

Today I am grateful to know where I stand with the people in my life.  There are things that I would like in my life and I know that I am not able to get them from certain relationships.  I also know that they are not responsible for the things I need so I have to get creative in looking for how I can meet my own needs.

Today I am grateful for reminders about self care and love.  I have struggled a lot in the last few weeks with constant questions about things I’ve done wrong and wondering why things aren’t working out how I had hoped.  I don’t mean just a little off, I mean in a different universe.  I’m trusting that they are working out for the best because I keep drawing the same card from my Super Attractor Deck—The universe is always conspiring to support me, guide me, and lead me compassionately toward the highest good.  Sometimes I have to remember that it isn’t about me and that things don’t always work out in my favor because there may be a greater need elsewhere.  With all of that being said, I know that it is important to practice patience, and to know that a plan not working out isn’t an indicator of lack of worth.  All I can do is breathe and take it one step at a time and remember to take the time to take care of me.