I want to talk about gratitude for the past year. 2021 never promised to be any better than 2020 or any year before that, but in the end it was a beautiful year. I cried a lot and laughed and yes, I got angry more than I should have and I felt a lot of confusion and frustration. But that means I felt something for my life and the things that were happening. There was a lot of pain in 2021 but the growth that came out of it made sense. There is no growth without pain (or at least discomfort) because we wouldn’t move at all if things were always perfect. We still have a lot of work to do and we can’t rest on our laurels—we are called to make the changes.
2021 gave me a lot of lessons about making decisions and moving forward while simultaneously letting go. Let me tell you, for this Type A that has been the hardest part. Just when you think you have an understanding of something, the universe swoops in and makes it something else. The biggest lesson in that regard is to create the foundation of the self. To know who we are—to know who I am. When we have that solid foundation, the external means nothing. We are guided to the next steps because we know who we are and we trust in our ability to fly rather than being supported by a false sense of security.
This year was about letting go. I’m still working on the emotional component of that in regards to the past as well as control. But I was definitely able to let go of things. Again, more work to do on that front since I put a lot of emotional attachment into the life I’ve built, but I released things again and again and said loving goodbyes to my past and some tearful goodbyes too. But I am grateful to see that it wasn’t about staying stuck there, it was about releasing the idea of what something was. It was about letting go of the perceived security I had then and embracing the life I’m creating for myself now. Relying on my own hands, my own abilities instead of hoping someone would always be there to fix it for me or to make me feel better.
This year was also about self-work. It was about letting go of the expectation of anyone else to fulfill my needs. It was about understanding that I am capable and strong and that the idea that people think I can’t do it because of how I look also came from me. It was about realizing it didn’t matter what they thought anyway—they would think what they wanted to regardless, it was up to me to do what I needed to do, not so much to prove, but to simply move forward with my life. I spent too long asking for permission when all I needed was to do. And with self-work, it was about self-love. My mind reached what felt like the breaking point several times this year and I kept going. My body was put through the wringer on multiple occasions (both from myself and things that couldn’t be helped) and it kept going. I am so grateful to have a vessel that supports me and to be able to take care of it.
I am also grateful for all of the opportunities that came my way. From the chance to be a mother again and to reconnect with my son after that loss, to buying our home, to the possibilities that opened up both for my family and my career, to seeing deeper into myself about what I truly want in this world and letting go of the guilt that comes with that, to releasing generational trauma around guilt and purpose, to having fun with my family on the water, to celebrating our first holiday in our new place, and to reconnect with love again (for self and my family).
To the New Year, I welcome you and I thank you for the next steps in my life. I am grateful for the new adventures coming my way. I am grateful for taking steps to create the life I’m looking for—and the life that is looking for me. I am grateful for health, wealth, abundance, and happiness. I am grateful to release and learn and trust and realign—I am grateful for the flow, ease, and peace that comes with that. I am grateful to connect and I am grateful for action. I am grateful to share my blessings with the world and I am grateful to open up doors of opportunity and possibility through that expression.
Wishing everyone a healthy, happy, successful, and prosperous New Year. May you make 2022 the stuff of dreams and be open to what is meant to be in your life. Welcome it with open arms. Happy New Year!