Following up on ego, I had a conversation with an employee about spirituality and connection the other day.  The universe will constantly bring us to the place we need to be in the most unexpected was.  So, we’ve spoken about what it costs to be who we are, we’ve spoken about letting go of ego, and we’ve spoken about the power of thought.  Another component to this is faith.  See, I was jaded on religion early in my life and I still don’t subscribe to a religion.  But I have a very strong faith.  I don’t trust the words of men over my own knowing because their words are about what they think I need to do instead of what I know I need to do.  It’s about their relationship with something higher over my own.  I don’t need them to be a conduit for any message because I am a conduit, we all are.  Now that that’s out of the way, I want to share my story of faith.

I was privileged to have the grandfather I did.  I know I’ve shared stories of him here, but a quick recap is this man was always incredibly generous yet held firm boundaries, he was beyond his time as far as views on people and allowing others to be, he was one of the most supportive people you’d ever meet but you didn’t want to cross him.  On top of all that, he was an extremely devout man but his faith and belief looked different than the religion I was exposed to.  See, he too operated from his knowing.  Yes, he went to church and he read and studied the bible, but he also had the ability to SEE people and he didn’t care about their beliefs.  He understood his relationship with the creator he believed in was his own and he never cared what others believed.  That was their business.  He never preached or pushed, he allowed everyone to simply be and he did what he could.  My grandmother was raised differently and if you didn’t live by the book, you were a sinner and outcast and she’d pray for you.  But that was always the critical eye of her religion and belief: they sought where you were wrong in their eyes.  My grandfather knew how to hold love for al, he didn’t care if you were right or wrong.

Personally I’ve had a complicated relationship with faith.  It’s something I want to have and experience, but I would be lying if I said I haven’t gone back and forth.  I allowed moments to devastate me and tear me apart and I think I was exposed to loss way too early in my life.  I couldn’t understand that there was room and purpose in life for both the good and the bad and I allowed the pain to overwhelm me.  The story I’m about to share makes it hard to waver on my faith, and even admit I’m ashamed that I allowed myself to waver as I did.  My employee allowed me to share the following story (it’s been years since I thought of this) and it reminded me that I have no reason to not have faith.    

I lost my grandfather when I was 11 years old and it completely tore me apart.  Aside from my parents, my grandfather was the adult I looked up to the most and I never anticipated losing him.  He wasn’t afraid of anything (and I know now that was because of his faith) so I never doubted he wouldn’t always be there for me. Then he wasn’t.  We lost him very suddenly and everything turned upside down—but here is the faith.  Two days after his funeral I had a dream where I saw him in his casket and he sat up, patted his arms and said “Let’s get this stuff off of me.”  I remember waking up and literally saying to myself, “This is a child’s dream, I want him back.”  Another couple of nights later, I dreamt I was back in his house staring at his empty chair.  I turned around, and he was there.  He looked different than in the previous dream.  He looked happy.  He said, “I’m alright now.” and I woke up.  I knew immediately that was a message from him.  Several years later, my mother shared she had the same dream around the same time I did.  My friends, there is something more.

I don’t think about this story enough as I go through my days, I allow myself to get too busy.  But this is the cornerstone of knowing we are here for a reason.  We have the ability to connect and there is so much more than we can see or understand.  It’s all real.  We have to train ourselves to see it and to remember it when we are in the thick of all the crap we tell ourselves we have to do.  There are real connections to be made both here and with energies outside and beyond.  But you can’t have something that profound happen and allow it to fade away.  I just admitted I’m guilty of it too—but I don’t want to be.  So take the time to surrender what you think has to be or what you think you know and think of a time when there was an irrefutable sign that something more w as happening. There is always something more.  For me, I want to solidify my faith—faith that I am doing the right thing in listening to the signs and sharing this message and boosting people to where they need to be.  We have a purpose.  We have a reason for being.  So I will have faith enough to be me—Just like my grandfather.

In early August I had the privilege of attending a conference where one of my leaders spoke.  He talked about EGO and how to live with humility.  See for him, EGO meant Edging God Out.  Now, don’t panic, I haven’t suddenly become overtaken by religion or anything like that, but I want to talk about the evolution of this idea over the last few months.  When he first spoke the words, it clicked in the respect we always need to remember humility and that there is more in the world than what we can fathom.  There is a plan we know nothing about but we are still required to play our part.  So from my own context, I heard this as remember there is a higher power of some sort and we can’t let our own plans get in the way. 

In the ironically most egotistical of ways, I thought I had no ego.  I’m always willing to learn, I’m always willing to share thoughts and ideas, I’m willing to help within my capacity when asked (boundaries), and I am always busy with multiple projects.  Talk about a two by four to the face.  All of these things served ego, even if I managed to help people along the way.  See, ego isn’t about what you fit in and how much you do, it’s about letting go of those things to fulfill the needs of others.  Again, I’m an advocate for boundaries so I will always say fill your cup first, but if we are able to help others, that’s what we need to do.  I spoke with a former coworker and we were regaling the tragedies we experienced while in our old department and I started to go further back and saw two key moments in my life where ego got in the way.

The first was when I tried out for my school’s dance troupe for what would be the last time I was eligible to do it.  I remember I hadn’t gotten a call the evening of the try out (we were supposed to get called for advancing to second round the same day) and I went to sleep devastated because I had done this for three years and now my last chance was gone.  A cruel girl even called around 9:30pm to “see if I got the call” only to ask me, “Oh, did you think it was them when I called?”  The next day, a group of girls I knew HAD gotten the call came running to me and told me I DID make it, my name was on the list on the dance room.  I flew downstairs and saw it—I was on the list.  So I made it to the next round and when I went to the second try out, a senior girl came up to me and asked who I was and she apologized for not calling me—she had missed my name on the list.  I froze up.  I was so nervous to even be there and I felt like an outsider and I was also angry because I missed the initial excitement.  I was definitely colder to her than I should have been—and I ended up not making it.  I know if I had let it go she would have taken time with me to learn the routine better and to help me—she tried, but I didn’t even bother to ask.  And I allowed myself to believe it was because I needed it on my own merits.         

The next was a decade later during my transition from traditional to holistic healthcare.  I finished my education and got my first job using my LMT.  Two weeks after I left my traditional job, I got a call from them asking me to come back and help.  I told them yes but found out they wanted me to fill out an application and take a drug test and essentially come back as a new hire rather than a 1099.  I’d only been gone two weeks and I was really raw from my boss when all of this occurred so I wrote a scathing letter to the new director about how ridiculous it was to make me apply when I’d been gone for two weeks, they needed MY help.  The reality is, had I gone back, I would have had a shot at the very position the person who made my life challenging just vacated—management.  I think of the following decade and that I could have been so much further if I had just done it.  I mean, I’m here now, but I could have saved myself some serious trouble along the way. 

So there’s a lesson in this for everyone: we always have ego, especially when we think we don’t.  Ego will allow us to believe we’re doing something for noble reasons or for the right reasons when really we are just protecting ourselves and telling another story about how right we are.  I mean, there’s a time and place for that as well, but the majority of the time we are deflecting and embracing the need to be right rather than doing what is right.  I’ve clawed desperately at advancement and “power” and “authority” but shunned two opportunities that would have brought me ages further faster because I let ego get in the way.  Now it isn’t even about power or authority—it’s about finding peace.  And I am being told to surrender in many ways right now.  So the memory of those two incidents are the reminders for me to not miss another chance to progress by thinking I’m always right.  Don’t let your head get in the way of the plan.

“It costs nothin’ to be kind.”  Six words, seven syllables, an immeasurable reminder of the power of SEEING people.  It’s also a reminder that the things we give freely have a deeper purpose than we initially feel.  Yesterday I shared how I initially felt angry about someone saying my gift was offering kind words and how I didn’t see the value in that.  Ironic I didn’t see the value because I love words and I’ve always spoken of the value of words.  But I had taken it as someone only seeing me as a stepping stone.  If they need to feel better, they come to me for a boost and then I won’t see them again for a while.  As I said yesterday, I do see the gift now.  My ability to offer words demonstrates that people are seen.  And people need to be seen, now more than ever.  They need to know their inherent value and sometimes it takes someone else telling them to understand.  I’m happy to be that person because I know what it’s like to want to be seen and I love igniting the light in others.

I have to admit that I initially didn’t see the value because offering kind words is something I’ve always done.  It’s something I’ve always wanted done for me.  I always wanted to know people saw my efforts and appreciated when I could do.  For a long time I needed to hear I was good enough and capable enough and that what I produced was amazing.  When it came to offering words to people, it came so naturally it felt like there was no effort involved.  I had also been trained that anything worth while felt like work.  But I’ve learned the things we are drawn to do to help others will often cost us nothing.  The things we are meant to do feel easy, not hard.  Not that there aren’t some challenging parts, but it feels good to do it.  Our natural gifts cost nothing to share.  Our passion and drive and desire cost us nothing.  It’s something we are compelled to do.  We are drawn to it like magnets and we feel so good when we are doing it, it’s almost uncomfortable.  What costs us nothing can be invaluable to someone else. 

It’s a testament to the need to share our light and to be who we are born to be.  We are so brainwashed to “become” something from the time we are in kindergarten.  We are trained to graduate and progress and move up the ladder and always striving for something else that we lose sight of our inherent value.  We need to remember that.  We are born with gifts that the world needs otherwise we wouldn’t have them.  We’ve misinterpreted value and worth as something we get paid for.  We’ve lost sight of the things we do naturally because there is no visible reward.  This world offers us endless gifts, things we shun because they are readily available.  Trees produce fruit, plants give us food, we have air and water, and God willing housing and clothing but we don’t see the value in it because we expect it and we are told we have to produce to be of worth.

What if we redefined worth?  What if we took the time to see what we were REALLY offering?  What the world is really offering? I’m by no means shunning the efforts and advances man has made: I love my books and the internet and the ability to cook and to have a home with running water.  Those are all worthy things.  But there are other worthy things that are less tangible.  Those gifts need to be shared and highlighted as well. The fact that something comes easy doesn’t mean it’s not valuable.  We just need to appreciate that more.  Your gifts need to be shared.  FIND what comes easy because chances are that is what you are meant to focus on.  Things come to us in unexpected ways so follow where you are naturally led and take it further than that.  Bring it to life with ease and grace and allow that to be your mark.  That is purpose.

I want to preface this with we are always tested when we have any sort of epiphany or realization or declare we know what we want, when we are trying to become someone else.  Shortly after the realization that I needed to watch my thoughts, a few things happened.  So I made the bold declaration that I would ALWAYS watch my thoughts as soon as I realized what I was seeing on my screen.  There couldn’t be any other reason behind what I was seeing other than to watch my thoughts.  I woke up the following day, Wednesday, and I had a feeling come over me about what I want to do with my work and I said to myself I am absolutely meant to help others.  I have a gift and I am meant to share that and elicit the best version of all of us out into the world.  The universe responded. 

The night before we received an email from my son’s teacher explaining a personal situation she was dealing with and I had immediately replied offering support—she’s going through something I’ve experienced as well.  For whatever reason when I woke up on that Wednesday, I felt like I crossed a boundary and maybe she wasn’t ready to receive that.  I barely know the woman, but I replied to her situation without thinking.  So as I sat in my office thinking about my call to help others and simultaneously worrying I had crossed a boundary, I opened my email.  The first thing I saw was a thank you from this teacher.  Warmth flooded my body in instant relief.  My message was received.  I continued my morning, drawing my affirmations and I had repeat cards come through.  They spoke of leaning toward love to be led and learning through love.  Offering support to someone who feels alone is the least we can do, so I did that with compassion and love.  MORE warmth.  Then I read my devotional and the line that stuck out was, “It costs nothin’ to be kind.”  More on that one soon. 

Finally, I meditated and it was about sharing love.  And right there, that was it. I have a gift for working directly with people and figuring out how to untangle from the thought webs they weave.  I love to offer support and guidance within my capacity and so often, people simply need to be heard and encouraged.  It literally costs nothing.  And it feels amazing.  I love donating belief and seeing people come out of their shells as they see who they are meant to be. This world needs more of who we are meant to be and less of who we are told to be.  It needs the authentic gifts we were given and meant to share with the world.  I’ve spoken about it before, we are not meant to carry the burden of the world on our own.  We are not meant to all be the same.  We are meant to be who we are and to share that light so we can ignite the light in someone else.  And those gifts carry on and on and inspire others.

These are thoughts that constantly roam through my head.  Based on yesterday’s piece, if this is what’s in my mind, then this is what I’m drawing to myself.  An ear, a lesson, a kind word.  I used to think it didn’t seem like much.  In fact, I had an exercise a few years back where I asked people what my best quality was and someone close to me said, “You always have a kind and encouraging word.”  I remember getting angry at first.  I’ve done all of these things in my life, I’ve fought to get through and succeeded, I’m raising a child, I’ve financially supported my family.  Not that any of it is unique, but I have demonstrably shown I am far more capable than just words.  I mean I love words, but at the time I needed validation on something more.  Now that some years have passed, I appreciate the sentiment.  I see the value in being able to offer support and perspective to people.  We all know how unkind we can be to ourselves, so if I have the ability to reason with that in others, I am happy to have it.  The things that naturally flow through our minds are ours and those are the things we are meant to work on.  That is the person we are meant to be.  

A week ago I sat with my parents and we discussed life in general and we reminisced about times, good and bad, over the course of the last couple of decades.  We fell into the nostalgia habit and I mentioned I found a thank you letter from a teacher I had 26 years ago.  I don’t recall how we got on the next conversation, but I mentioned how this teacher’s husband (at the time) had worked for an airline and he was involved in cleaning up a crash that occurred on Halloween several years prior to that, and unfortunately, one of the relatives of another teacher had been on that flight.  I remember this teacher saying that the other teacher struggled with speaking to her because it was so painful.  It was a powerful memory to me because I was so young and didn’t understand how a person could hold someone not technically involved accountable or how they could act as a trigger—believe me, I know now.  I also hadn’t thought of that event in several years.

The following Tuesday at work I ran audits for my employees and that involves random account numbers being pulled for me to review.  Everything droned on for the first few hours but in that last hour of work, right as boredom was about to take over, an account popped up that stopped me in my tracks. I mean I literally stared at that screen for a good five minutes with my jaw on the floor, confirming who I was looking at.  It was the teacher who struggled with my teacher, a person I hadn’t seen in well over 30 years, someone who I last heard of 26 years prior, and someone I had no say in choosing during this process at work—yet I had just been speaking of her and now here she is. 

For me, that was a testament to the power of thought and manifestation in the universe.  No, I didn’t have any intention whatsoever of finding this woman, the topic was brought up very casually with no drive to follow up.  But if something that random, where the odds are literally one in several hundred million, can happen without intention, simply by speaking about it, that is unbelievable evidence that something is working beyond us.  There is truly power in our thoughts.  There is power in our words.  That power explains quite a bit about where I’m at with myself lately as well.  I’ve been going through a weird phase of reconciling the past and wanting to go back and I’ve been experiencing things that have thrown me for a loop, like old repeating behaviors of mine and my husband, old fears, not wanting to cope with what’s in front of me.  It all started with a thought about wanting to go back.

To the latter point there are a couple of things: 1. Always watch your thoughts because even if it seems innocent, or wistful, or in jest, the universe doesn’t view it that way.  You are imbibing power into a thought the universe thinks needs to become reality and, if it can’t give you exactly what you want, it’s going to send you its interpretation.  So be clear and focused and disciplined.  2. With that focus, make sure you are very clear on what your intentions are.  I literally had no intent in the conversation with my parents and there still popped up a remnant so astronomically small that could only mean there is power unseen.  3. The universe responds to frequency and belief and if you intend to shift anything in your life, you need to match that level and understand what it means to believe.  That was evidence to me that my energy emitted more longing for the past than for the future.  Time to shift!

I hope that everyone experiences something like this in their lifetime where there is concrete evidence that thought has power.  If there is power in a thought you DON’T want, imagine the power of something you do want.  Imagine feeling differently and allowing yourself to explore something new without fear and embracing the change it brings—often the change you say you want.  This isn’t about fake it ‘til you make it, this is about becoming that person.  Even if you aren’t that person now, you can still find ways to emit the energy you’re intending.  I repeat, there is power in thought and the universe draws it to you.  Do not second guess yourself and do not second guess your intent.  You may need to adjust focus every now and then, but allow the belief to become you until you become the belief.  This is the way of the universe—trust it.

We get two for one today!

Today I am grateful for new friendships.  With working the hours I do, I don’t often get to expand out to new people.  We’ve had the chance to meet some amazing people through my son and it has opened into a friendship for all of us.  I’ve been so grateful to start finding joy again and finding new people to experience things with has been an amazing joy for me.  Being seen where I’m at, watching my son and husband feel the same, it helps us break out of our fight or flight-we-only-have-each-other mode.  We have some beautiful friendships we’ve made since living here, but finding people exactly where we are at has been life changing.  It’s about a shared connection and that is priceless.

Today I am grateful for progress.  Thinking about what moves us forward, I’ve learned a lot from the group I work with outside of my 9-5.  We talk a lot about result producing activities and at first I thought it was just exhausting.  Full transparency, it IS exhausting but that is also just the phase we are in right now.  There is more to come and in order to get here, we need to work on those things that actually get results.  So we’ve been putting in different effort than what we did before.  Previously we were just trying to do enough to keep our heads off the ground.  But in the last month, we’ve made a ton of progress with helping people.  The difference in the result was almost immediate when the focus shifted to brining a result to others.  That is what moves us forward.

Today I am grateful to be able to help.  Expanding on what I mentioned above, I’m grateful to be able to be a light to others.  There are days it feels heavy and overwhelming trying to keep up with all the things I have to do, but there has been no better feeling than making myself available to truly hear people and help them where they are at.  I’ve been an ear for my employees, I’ve advocated for moving projects forward at work, I’ve helped people find things to assist in their health, I’ve been able to help my parents when they needed me, I’ve worked with my son on his school projects, and my husband and I have gotten better about dividing tasks around the house.  It’s a beautiful thing to put talent to use and to apply it to life.  Find the helpers or be the helper—it makes all the difference.   

Today I am grateful for time with family.  Life never seems to slow down and there are moments I’m not sure if this is a good or bad thing.  Yes, it feels good to help and to be productive, but we lose sight of the need and/or value of rest.  I mean, I crave rest, but I’m a pusher and I will push up to the point I physically can’t do anymore.  This morning, I woke up and worked on my writing and my husband and I made breakfast.  Then we all sat on the couch with the dog and one of the cats and as soon as I looked at all of us laying/sitting there, I said, “This is a moment.”  It’s amazing how the body lets you know when you are at peace.  There is a sense of complete calm that washes over and it’s felt at the deepest level.  That’s a parasympathetic response and it feels good—and it’s necessary.  Beyond that, it’s a moment to cherish as we are all together, simply relaxing and connecting with each other.  I love my family.

Today I am grateful for forgiveness.  I wasn’t able to post this on Sunday and I broke my streak of almost daily posting for two years.  So I begin again. And I know where I need to keep my focus.  There was simply too much chaos and distraction on Sunday and I didn’t get to finish sharing these things, the things I am grateful for that keep me moving and focused.  I will forgive myself and take the lessons and I will continue to prioritize what is important to me—my health and my family and taking care of things that are needed.  Things will unfold as they are meant to, and I needed to forget in order to remember what I have to do.

Wishing everyone a wonderful week ahead with an early morning post 😊

Just a quick note/reminder for those undergoing a change to carry you through the transition: Sometimes faith is about learning something new.  When we learned to tie our shoes it could be frustrating thinking we couldn’t ever create those loops.  When we learned about numbers and all the things they could do, we didn’t know if we could ever remember the formulas.  When we learned about culture/society/language/life, we didn’t know if we had room for all of that.  During the last decade, we’ve seen things we never thought we would see.  All of this we have integrated into ourselves.  Everything we once thought was impossible became the norm, something we utilized or understood with ease over time.  So when we make the decision to move forward on a new path, we have to have patience for ourselves to learn something new.

There are bumps as we learn new things, there can be some painful lessons as we learn to let go, and there are often reality checks as we learn a new way of being.  That doesn’t mean give up.  It means keep going.  Keep going until the new becomes familiar.  Keep going until you understand that there is a bigger plan for you in this life and your new life will cost you your old one.  Of course there can be sadness in losing the familiar, but there is joy in embracing what serves now, what serves the greater purpose.  Having faith means being open and willing and flowing.  It isn’t about your plan, it’s about THE plan.  If you ever want to remember where you are in the universe, find a quiet place to go look at the stars.  Remember two things: 1. In the vastness of space, you are here.  You were created and brought here to do something, you are needed.  2. In the vastness of space, you are so small—the plan isn’t yours.  You are simply meant to listen to the calling and go with it.  KEEP GOING.           

“Dare to believe the truth that when you release something, you free up space for new things (and dreams) to grow in you and in your life.  The first step to letting go of any good thing is identifying the things that aren’t aligned with what matters most to you,” Jordan Lee Dooley. What a perfect follow up to talking about tradition and legacy and what really matters.  Any journey of growth, whether spiritual or personal gets to a point where you evaluate your current state.  What matters, what doesn’t matter, who are you really, what do you really want to accomplish, what is your real purpose.  I used to love letting those questions circle in my head and to create a fantasy of the kind of person I was that day.  I’d inevitably become what I was “supposed” to be and go to work.  But there comes a point when that nagging voice doesn’t go away.  The whispers of, “There is more, this isn’t it, do something else,” eventually get louder and louder, sometimes to the point where they become a scream.  We are born with an internal navigation system that directs us where we need to go—we aren’t meant to ignore it.

Once that voice becomes one you can no longer ignore, the next natural questions come up as indicated in the opening quote: what can I/we let go of that supports what matters most?  What can I/we integrate into our lives that is more authentically who I am?  How do I support my purpose?  Once those answers start flowing in, things start changing.  We aren’t designed to support multiple lives at once: we are meant to fulfill our purpose so that means cutting out the things that don’t align or fit with that in some way.  If we ask ourselves what really makes us happy, are we prepared to actually do it?  Sometimes the way out of what we’ve created is messy.  It’s certainly uncomfortable because it isn’t what we know. But as the pieces that no longer fit fall away, we slowly see the space that’s left, the space that’s created in the absence.

We can’t hold on to too many things.  That’s why we only have two hands: we aren’t meant to carry it all.  We are meant to hold what supports us, who we really are.  Dooley’s quote referenced a time in her life when she had to evaluate whether or not she could continue doing something where she was quite successful but not quite fulfilled at the time.  There are often things in our lives that seem like they are going well and maybe we get some satisfaction out of it—but if those voices start speaking and asking those questions, even those good things need to be evaluated.  Life is a constant evaluation of what fits and what doesn’t, of who we are.  I think we are often misled to choose an identity far too young and we create stories to support that even when we outgrow it.  I’m telling you, it’s ok.  Growth is natural.  We aren’t always who we were and we don’t have to be that person if it doesn’t fit. We are simply meant to create space for the deepest facets of our soul to shine through. 

Life isn’t about creating an illusion so people think we live or are a certain way.  When it comes to tradition as we spoke of yesterday, that’s where we lose sight of who we are if we don’t look at the why behind the action.  Those traditions we carry on are someone else’s not our own—so if we are to continue them, we need to learn to ask if they fit the life we are living—not the life someone else wants us to live.  This is where the letting go comes in.  Even if the patterns we are taught feel safe, if you hear that voice telling you this isn’t it, then it isn’t it.  Do not let your potential, your ideas, your purpose go to waste because you don’t have room to see them through.  Make the room.  Let go of what doesn’t serve.  Free up your hands to hold the life you want, to build the life you want.  When we empty the nose and the things that no longer fit, it can feel scary because we are used to holding something—sometimes we wonder if we will ever fill up again.  As the cycle goes, what is full must empty and what is empty must fill.  It’s a constant flow, and we must allow the who we are NOW to be who we are NOW.  Free up the space, and allow yourself to fill it with the light of who you are.           

There is a weird conflict in letting go of the past for some people—myself included.  The past becomes this representation of something nebulous we don’t really understand because it is no longer here.  Yet we cling to it because we feel we know it.  But the experience of something that has gone by is different for everyone so that meaning can’t be the same for everyone.  What was joy for some was pain for others.  What was beautiful for some was ugly for others. What we thought was a high point becomes a representation of the highest we felt we could get or we gradually come to understand there was more to do than that.  Letting go of the past also means making way for an unknown future. 

The future represents something scary in that we don’t know what to expect.  We can plan but we all know what happens with plans.  All of that is an attempt at appeasing the ego by creating the illusion of control.  I want to note that sometimes we think we have let go when we have merely shifted a foot over.  We’ve barely concealed the copy of what the past was.  We can’t get caught up in believing that is real progress or change.  In some cases that may be a step toward something new, yes, but in others it’s merely a poorly disguised attempt at moving forward.  It is also human nature.  What we are born into is easier to take than what we must adapt to.  When we are born into something we don’t know anything else but when we must adapt into something, we have to learn entirely anew. 

Then there is the concept of tradition.  We are animals that pass on information and teach/regurgitate what we know thinking we are somehow carrying on or passing the torch.  We don’t honestly know all the details, we just do it because that’s what we do and that is what we’ve always done.  Of course there is a place for repetition and passing on information—it’s necessary to know how to tie our shoes and how to prepare food.  But do we really need to repeat the expected societal song and dance simply because that’s what everyone else does?  If we really think about it, no.  This isn’t to say there isn’t a place for creating culture and tradition based on love or celebrating life.  But there is also a time to question why we do the things we do at times.  Is there a reason to continue doing what we’ve always done?  Could there be a better way?

As we pass on information or share our stories, we have to remember what really matters.  Are we passing on a core message about thought patterns and belief structures that support each other?  Are we creating a positive vision for ourselves and our future?  That is the real point of tradition and legacy: leaving a positive impact with the world.  At the end of the day, we all become nothing more than bodies that return to the immortal being of the world.  Dust, bones, ashes, atoms that move into a different vibration and dissipate into something else.  We can not become so attached to what we think is, or what we think something was, that we forget what we actually are: dust and motes and molecules.  We have to remember what the power is in those molecules: we can change the vibration.  We can learn to leave a legacy of love and caring over anything else.  That is what matters.

Going off of dates and numbers, I had a beautiful realization with my son the other day.  He’s in kindergarten now and he has found himself a best friend.  So many of us had to navigate a new way of parenting with COVID—kids couldn’t play with other kids, masks, a new level of cleaning, not seeing family (or only seeing specific family), etc. that life in many ways got delayed.  My son was around three when COVID hit so he was just at the age where he would be going to his first year of pre-k and really playing with the neighbor kids but he missed part of that.  Now he has an entirely new world open to him and he has transitioned beautifully.  Like I said, he now has a best friend.  Not to get too sappy, but that is the moment I had been waiting for: Seeing my son become his own person and really spread his wings, stepping into his life.

The numbers come in with the repetition of cycles and time.  I’ve been so fortunate to have the same core group of three friends since I was my son’s age.  I met my best friend when I was about six when I was playing outside and her mom walked her across the street.  I met my two other best friends when I was in kindergarten.  My whole life has been impacted by these women and it all started at my son’s age.  The cycles of time and the repetition of history can be a beautiful thing.  Yes, I’m a typical mother and I struggle with seeing my son grow up.  He’s an only child so his firsts and lasts mean something different to me—plus I tend to be overly emotional and read into things.  Regardless, I know it’s a good thing that my son reaches these milestones.  I’m proud seeing him navigate these stages of his life and his fearlessness to try things in spite of being raised in fear the last three years. 

Time moves regardless of what happens and cycles repeat—some of those things are irrespective of time and others are simply because of time.  All we can do is go with it.  That is the beauty of life: it takes us where IT’S going.  Sure, we have some say in the direction but if we aren’t meant to go in that direction, I can guarantee things will move us in a different direction.  Things happen that we don’t anticipate, like loss, a pandemic, other illness and that changes how we experience each other and what we have to do.  I never thought I’d be raising my then three year old in a mask—none of us did.  But there are beautiful things that we don’t anticipate either—like everything turning out fine.  It’s exactly as it’s meant to be.  Suddenly our children are in kindergarten or graduating just as they would have.  Life keeps moving.  It’s up to us to make the best of it.