A Review: Knowing When Enough is Enough

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We all have days when we simply feel like we are running on empty.  Nothing we do is enough and it feels like we are choking on next steps and a list of things to do that never ends.  It feels like there is no praise, no result that will come from all of the effort and we find ourselves asking why we do it and why we aren’t enough to yield the results we’ve been working for.  Life has a tendency to pile things and then suddenly release the pressure. I drew my cards today and they were all about having faith.  Specifically things like, “all that I love is more important than all that I fear” and “the more energy and intention I bring to my faith the more fearless and free I am.”  As fate would have it, I also saw a snippet within seconds (also from Gabby Bernstein) about needing to surrender because all of the doing gets in the way of allowing things to catch up.  No amount of doing is going to speed up the process, you have to stop because in the mind, you’re miles ahead of where you’re at.

Sometimes when you feel at your lowest, the universe sends you signs through people, cards, animals, whatever it may be, that in reality, you are doing just fine.  The pressure is coming from YOU.  That was my reminder that all the pressure I’ve been facing came from me.  I’ve never kept it secret that I have high expectations of myself, but in the past two days I’ve heard from two separate people in two separate instances that I put too much pressure on myself.  One of these people is my boss and she spoke to me about this during my annual review.  She even went so far as to say that those expectations are what’s keeping me from greatness.  This one shocked me because she has such high expectations for herself, I never considered she saw what I was going through to keep up.  As fate would have it, I met with my mentor earlier this week and she said something similar…that’s what gets the wheels turning.      

It’s about progress, not perfection.  I’ve heard this multiple times in my life and maybe my need to do is my way of proving I’ve earned whatever is coming my way.  I have a long history of childhood need to prove and that has followed into adulthood.  I’ve never stopped to consider that I don’t need to prove to the universe either.  I know, it’s confusing.  I speak about inherent worth, but like the true Type A that I am, I never really believed it about myself.  I kept the pressure on to always BE ON.  I over-checked and over-thought and over-prepared and over everything in order to make sure that nothing was amiss.  I wanted to make sure everything was exactly as it should be and no one needed to worry because I got it thank you very much.  But that is impossible to maintain for a long time because—LIFE. 

I’m seeing more and more how life is simply enough.  I’ve been so worried about doing well that I haven’t been doing at all.  I’ve been spinning and I’ve been missing out on what’s in front of me.  It’s amazing how we keep coming back to the same lessons, isn’t it?  Are we that stubborn so we hold on to the familiar patterns?  Or are we that naïve to believe we really let go when we haven’t?  Maybe it’s both.  Either way, the universe always keeps us in check.  So for today, bring in the scattered energies and simply relax.  Focus on one thing at a time and allow the results to unfold.  You are enough just as I am.  There is no need to prove today, there is no need to push.  Simply be.  You aren’t being lazy, you’re allowing the universe to do what it needs to do in order to catch up.  Have some fun and enjoy.

Good Intentions

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I’m the kind of person who wants to do it all.  It started as a compulsive need to prove to others that I was capable because I was tired of my height being the first thing people commented on.  Slowly I noticed that it was a compulsive need to prove to myself that I could do things.  Then it became an inability to decide on one thing I wanted to do.  So I try to do it all.  I know I’m capable but the follow through is terrible.  That’s what happens when you can’t focus on one thing long enough to finish it. 

For a long time it felt like things were falling apart because life was a big chaotic mess of started projects, half-finished projects, things I wanted to do, and things I felt I should be doing.  It made me feel like crap.  I had no sense of prioritization so when things didn’t get done, I took it as a personal failure.  And I will admit, part of it was a failure because I didn’t know how to set the boundaries or prioritize what I needed to do.  But that is a lesson learned. 

As life took a tumble again the last few weeks, I felt like I hit rock bottom.  My sister’s judgements of my life choices ringing in my ears and not having help finding solutions really took a toll on me.  I knew I had to shift that because I’m trying to stay away from victim/martyr behavior.  I realized I got myself into this situation because I had been trying to do too much.  I hadn’t been clearly focused on one thing to get it done so it felt like the whole world was turned over.  That’s when I felt something shift.

I have been waiting so long for the pieces to come together and it felt more like they were all falling apart.  It felt like a puzzle left incomplete or like the box of pieces was falling and I was trying to catch it.  But maybe it isn’t falling apart.  Maybe all the pieces need to come out of the box and be flipped over so I can see them and create the big picture.  That is when it can all come together.  I cursed myself for having my feet in too many arenas, and yes, it does have it’s challenges, but there is a lot I can do.

Pivot

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I’m a huge proponent about mindset.  I spent many years feeling like crap, feeling like a doormat, feeling like every negative thing that came my way was because I somehow failed and deserved it.  I took every negative thing as a punishment for something I did wrong.  That culminated in self-harm in more ways than just physical and it was lasting.  It has taken years to get to the point where I understand that it isn’t universal punishment—it is self-punishment and we carry that from generations before us.  I was taught to hate myself for everything I’m not rather than celebrate everything I am.  Any time things didn’t go as planned, it was a reflection on my worth.  I finally had to understand that it actually had everything to do with my view rather than my actions. 

I know now that my worth truly does come from within.  It isn’t about doing enough, being enough, achieving enough for someone else.  It’s about being comfortable in my own skin and knowing my actions and my path is mine alone—and how well I walk it.  That isn’t to say that I don’t get thrown for a loop fairly often.  Taking nearly four decades of belief and changing it overnight is really hard.  So we make turns, one step at a time, and we talk differently to ourselves one word at a time.  Other people’s words and opinions can still feel like grenades on our fragile shell and no, that doesn’t make it about ego.  That makes it about a foundation you’re trying to create and it hasn’t set yet.  Patience is key.  It’s an odd mix of boundaries, flexibility, acceptance, and change.  It’s neurally overwhelming for a brain that has a negative track.    

Pivoting is also about changing those long-term beliefs.  We are sold a pack of lies from the time we are born.  Our beautiful intuition and knowing are replaced with a story of greatness about what happens when we give up our desires and what we know we are meant to do to feed the machine of consumerism.  And when that story doesn’t play out as we are told, we are made to believe it is our fault.  My friends, that is NOT true.  Learning how to adjust the mindset is key.  The sooner we can go from what we think should be to knowing what is happening, the smaller the gap is.  Life plays out in unexpected ways, in things we have no control over.  Whether it is a sudden change or a deciding to work on a long term belief, we can decide what that means.     

It’s also about those sudden shifts we have no control over.  There are so many lessons that come when things don’t go how we think they will.  I’m not saying it doesn’t feel like getting smacked upside the head or that it doesn’t take your breath away.  I mean, the need to pivot is almost always unexpected so it is sure to pull the rug out from under you.  But there is something we need to learn: Life doesn’t go as planned, it goes as it is meant to. The trick is learning to be the pivot.  Rigidity causes stress and fractures as we try to steadfastly stick with what we know.  But the pivot, the change that leans and dances as things come our way won’t break us. 

What Fits

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An appropriate story to follow up our talk on resignation and what fits is a little story about my car.  I’ve driven a small SUV for the last eight years.  I originally wanted the SUV to cart around my table from my massage therapy days because I had a little Ford Focus at the time.  I got the SUV and it was so intimidating at first.  I’m a small woman so going from the tiny Focus to the bigger car (even though it was a small SUV) felt like going into a tank.  But that car protected me and got me through the last eight years, eight winters, it brought home my son, and took us through two moves.  I loved that car and I thought I needed it for my lifestyle.  But as it happens to all things, time has taken its toll on it and I have a long commute so she got tired and I knew I needed something new. 

I recently sold my car and I’m using something smaller until I decide what I want to do (purchase the small car or buy another car).   At first it was weird because it felt like going from a tank to a go cart in one night.  But it has taught me there is value in moving into something that fits us.  I barely have to adjust the seat on this thing, I can reach the pedals no problem, I can see all around me, and I’m back in a car that my head actually goes above the seat.  Not to mention the heat works and my windows don’t freeze.  Regardless, this isn’t the vehicle I saw myself in, especially living where I do.  But the ride is nice, it feels like I’m in control, and I am not scared of not seeing something because it responds well to me and I know I can handle it.  Sometimes the thing we don’t want is what we need.

Just because you thought you needed something a certain way or a certain thing to make your life a certain way, it doesn’t mean every facet of you life needs to be that way.  Sometimes grandiose is too much. Sometimes you’re looking for just enough.  Something that fits you.  I’m not saying I’m an overly lavish or showy person, but I thought I needed so much space.  Maybe it was my subconscious trying to create value for me by taking up more space than I needed.  But it feels different being somewhere that does fit.  I’m actually going through this with my clothes and shoes. 

Right now I am trying to see where I fit in the world.  More importantly I am finding what fits me.  Instead of asking where I fit in, I’m asking what fits me.  I’m not adapting to any situation now or asking to be accepted or viewed a certain way: this is what you get.  And it is so hard for me as a life long people pleaser because that external validation meant everything to me.  But when we validate ourselves and accept what we really need, not what we are told we need, we find the pieces that fit.  Right now I’m in a wonderful transition.  It is chaotic and terrifying, exhausting, and yes, it is even sad for me.  I won’t diminish all the feelings in this.  It doesn’t mean I don’t love it at the same time, it just doesn’t look how I thought it would. That doesn’t mean it isn’t right for me.  I’m grateful. 

Lessons in Aging

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Tonight I share a more sobering story.  I work in healthcare so I see a ton of cases that run the gamut of emotions and experiences.  I recently felt emotional given what is going on with my mother and navigating more challenges, and then it happened: I saw a case where a young man, only 18 years old, passed away very shortly after the holidays.  I’ve seen this type of case before, but something struck me about this one. I took it as a reminder that the world needs us all to be a little more tender moving forward, to remember the fragility of life.  We aren’t promised anything so we need to take advantage and respect what we have while we have it.  In fragility there is also strength.  There is living.  Things change, decades pass and we are still doing the same thing, but somehow, everything is different.  We wake up one day and ask what the hell happened.  How did it get like THIS?  We blink, and an entire lifetime is gone.  That is my biggest fear. 

I’ve lived like that for the last two decades of my life and I’ve been making a really concentrated effort to stop that over the last few weeks.  I found myself feeling so down again, and in so much emotional distress that it hurt.  I felt like a caged rat and I felt like I couldn’t find the answers regardless of what I did.  I felt myself OUT OF CONTROL.  And that is when it hit me: I’ve been tying myself up in knots over things I literally have no control over.  I’ve been living what I thought I wanted and trying to make it all work. 

I don’t want to miss my life, I don’t want to miss out on it.  I want to enjoy it while I can because it is so evident that tomorrow isn’t promised.  I’m seeing my parents get older and I’m feeling it myself.  It breaks my heart as I know what my parents are going through is partially avoidable as it deals with mindset.  But they too are human and I need to accept their choices as they have accepted mine.  Making them be who I need them to be isn’t my role.  It’s my role to take care of them as they are and love them while I can.  It’s time for me to take responsibility for what I do and creating the life I want.  I don’t want an image of the life I want, I want to actually life that life.  And that means the focus is moving forward, not stuck on what was, no matter how I felt safe back then.

It doesn’t matter how old or young we are, we all get one life, and it moves in one direction.  I take solace in learning that we are all meant to be where we are at the right time, but I don’t pretend that it all goes away some day.  I still get a little sad by that.  But I don’t want to waste any more time wishing it was like it used to be or that it becomes something else—that isn’t being where we are, and that isn’t living.  So, seeing the young ones pass and the old ones moving on in their time reminds me that we all have our day.  Yes it is sad, but it is also the truth.  Don’t let that stop you, let that motivate you.  Take what you want and go for it because that is what it’s about.

We are coming full circle on some topics over the past week: from knowing our worth and setting boundaries with work, to not taking life seriously, to prioritizing what is important to us (and releasing the guilt with that). I want to talk about what is happening as a society.  I’ve spoken about ushering in a new paradigm and that is happening naturally whether we like it or not.  We’ve all spoken about the “great resignation” over the last year.  Marianne Williamson talked about how it really isn’t a resignation that is happening. What we are seeing is a re-evaluation of what is important.  Being away from family and making a job that would replace you in an instant a priority just isn’t appealing to anyone anymore.  Add in that life is considerably more expensive now and salaries are not growing to match it doesn’t help. 

We are seeing the job isn’t quite as important as we thought because we can put in all the hours in the world and it still won’t be enough.  We can learn to make money sacrificing time but we can’t get that time back.  What is important is family.  Our loved ones in general.  The place we live, both our home and our Earth.  Joy.  And of course, time.  I’ve been given messages over and over again that I can’t live in multiple worlds.  I still have a foot in the 9-5 world as well as a foot in the entrepreneur world and I know where my heart is telling me to go.  It is time to make the choice to trust myself enough to do what I need to.  The same can be said for all of us. 

I’ve realized that I can no longer wait to see what pans out—it is time to commit and take the steps needed to get where I want to go.  It is time to stop forcing, fighting, feeling like shit to make it work.  I don’t want to make it work anymore.  I’ve been trying to wear two different size shoes in jeans that are too big and shirts that are too small to make it seem like I fit in.  We are reminded that we need to work with what fits us.  That is where the magic happens!! It isn’t just about flow—flow happens when we get in this mindset, yes, but this is about the feeling that comes with doing what we are meant to.  It is the perfect fit, the perfect combination of ease and effort.  I’m not saying every day is like that, but the gaps between that flow and the fighting grow smaller and smaller.     

This is what we are fighting for.  We are learning to give up what we think we want in favor of what we need.  So, while it is a re-evaluation, I will amend William’s earlier statement to it IS a resignation as well.  It’s a resignation to what IS.  It’s an admission that what is doesn’t work anymore and that we don’t want it.  We have been so afraid for so long to talk about what works for us because we either thought we were crazy or selfish.  The reality is we were just getting signs from the universe and tapping into who we are the universal wisdom we were told to ignore.  I know we don’t know what it looks like after this phase, this collective awakening, but I know we know somehow we are on the right path.  We know we are upgrading and changing.  I accept this resignation.  I move into what is for me.

Sunday Gratitude

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Today I’m grateful to remember that destruction doesn’t mean ending.  Destruction can mean a new beginning.  It’s a chance for a clean slate and a stronger foundation.  The truth is I spent my entire life fearing what I didn’t know and trying to avoid things falling apart.  I thought the purpose of life was to keep it looking a certain way and that meant holding onto beliefs from ages ago, many of which weren’t even mine.  But today, I am reminded that destruction, while it can be scary or even painful, it doesn’t have to be a show stopper.  It can be the cleansing we need.  It can be the start we never knew we were looking for.

Today I am grateful to remember that regardless of how it feels when the world spins out of control, we still have control of ourselves.  There are opportunities that come from the darkest depths that we never thought possible.  Just because things don’t look how you envisioned them doesn’t mean they aren’t exactly what you need them to be.  Control is an illusion regardless—we don’t have it even when we take every precaution we can think of.  Life isn’t meant to be controlled, it is meant to be experienced.  I no longer want to go through my life bracing for each day—I want to experience each day. 

Today I am grateful for creation.  Over the last few weeks I’ve spoken about some of the trauma and some of the pain we’ve experienced in the family over the last few weeks.  I’ve also spoken about how that relates to traumas we’ve had over the years, over generations.  Along with destruction and control,  remembering that I have to use my own wings has shown me that it isn’t too late to learn to fly—it just takes some work.  There are possibilities every day and we are responsible for taking the chances on the ones that are meant for us.  We get to decide what we want our lives to look like.  It’s not a race, it’s not a competition, it’s a slow and steady creation of what works for us.

Today I am grateful for protection.  It has felt lonely over the last few weeks and there were moments I didn’t think I was supported for anything.  I look back now and I see that I’ve been learning to support myself.  I’ve been too reliant on other people to come to the rescue when I’ve been meant to learn to support myself.  On a healing journey, sometimes the path leads us back to ourselves.  It doesn’t mean we are alone—it means that we need to look for support somewhere other than where we’ve been looking, and that is ok.  Sometimes that support comes from ourselves.  What I really learned is that learning to support myself was divinely guided.  In order to help people find themselves, I needed to find me—and I had to trust that I could do it.

Today I am grateful for reminders to be proud of myself.  I’m reading The High 5 Habit by Mel Robbins and it is an excellent reminder that the love we have for ourselves is foundational.  Trusting ourselves and celebrating where we are and where we are going is necessary to keep ourselves moving.  I’ve always been hyper critical of everything I’ve done.  If didn’t think I could do it perfectly, I wouldn’t even try it which kept me cemented in place.  Learning to support myself and be my own cheerleader (and for everyone to learn to cheer for themselves) is key.  It ISN’T selfish.  In a perfectionist society we all feel that we can’t show ourselves unless we are perfect.  But that isn’t real.  Celebrating who we are is how we learn to keep the momentum going.

Today I am grateful for breath.  There is so much life to live and to be alive means we have a purpose.  I’m allowed to have what I need to fulfill my purpose regardless of what that looks like to other people.  Our paths are different and our stories are different.  My requirements are not the same as yours and vice versa.  That is OK.  To not take what is required to fulfill my purpose for the sake of your opinion is childish and selfish.  We are given a gift from the time we take our first breath and it isn’t owed to those around us.  It is owed to the entire universe INCLUDING those around us.  We are all the same and to be healed means we understand that connection.  While we have breath in our bodies, we have a purpose and I am not going to waste mine.   

Today I am grateful for support from unexpected places. As things have slowly gotten back to normal around the house, I am still settling in to a few new things. I have received some unexpected support from people I didn’t think I would. I also received some criticism from people I thought would have my back. The point is, support comes from unexpected places and it can come in unexpected ways–but it always comes when we need it.

Wishing everyone a wonderful week ahead.

Our Own Treasure

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Just a little note for us: pay attention to the gems floating through your mind.  Every now and then I have a thought that doesn’t feel like it comes from me.  I’ve come to realize that those are messages from the universe.  Whenever you have a thought and then the feeling, “YES!” or “Oh, that’s good,” those are gifts we are meant to share and they are meant to come through us.  It’s simply magic to have the thought that resonates so well, you feel it in your soul.

For example, when I understood that I’m working to support my life and need a job that allows me to do what I need to do for myself rather than a job that demands I support it, I KNEW that was true.  That is something I wanted to share with you.  I know navigating through the unknown is terrifying but I also know that we are given messages as a way to strengthen our resolve and carry us through.  I know those are things we are meant to share and lastly, I know that we are meant to break and shift the current paradigm.  The only way we can do that is through sharing our experiences to create a new paradigm. 

I want this particular message to be a reminder that anything is possible.  I want it to remind us that even if we are terrified, we are meant to do something different.  We are meant to listen to those nudges, whispers, and even shouts from the universe and make something great out of it.  We are not meant to  hoard this knowledge and we are not meant to fear it, either.  Those little gems are real and they are important.  Learn them, believe them, integrate them, and share them.  The world will be a mighty sparkly place if we keep sharing it.

Work/Life

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It’s no secret that our lives have changed drastically in the last few years.  Between how we work, how we feel about work, fulfilling our purpose, and finding a way to navigate a current paradigm with what is coming.  Sometimes it feels like I’m in an abusive relationship with my job.  I’ve had a lot to navigate in my life the last few weeks with my mother, my child, my husband, my job, and my side gigs and I discussed it with my boss.  Initially she was incredibly supportive of the personal situation and she even offered flexibility with my schedule as before.  I felt instant relief because of the craziness that has been going on.  A few days later she told me that she had some concerns about the teams and the hours we’ve been working.  This isn’t the first time I’ve been caught in this situation and it’s always the same: the support is there…and then it is not.

There was one particular conversation that stood out for me and it was when my boss told me, “We work in a 24/7 industry and we may just need to demonstrate more flexibility with our time.  People have been working in very set hours and they think that is enough.  We may need to look at alternatives like weekends and longer hours.”  Keep in mind this was followed up with her requesting the new attendance policy. And side note, this is why people are leaving the work force en masse–we are told we have freedom but need to live how someone else tells us.  So please explain to me how we can have this shift in a few days?  Again, this isn’t the first time it has happened, and as painful as it is to be bounced back and forth, I wasn’t entirely surprised.  And I know that this conversation is highlighting something for me in my personal life, the circle coming around again: I need to prioritize what I need to be doing in MY life and not living my life for someone else’s gain.

I had an epiphany as I was struggling to find care for my child: I’m working to prioritize a job that would replace me in two seconds (and if I’m honest, is probably actively trying to do that now) in order to give up more time with my kid.  When I know I’ve worked sick, I’ve worked with broken bones, when my kid has been sick, when I’ve been so mentally exhausted I couldn’t remember where I needed to be.  I had been hoping this job would take care of me because that is what I was told would happen.  The reality is they want me to bleed for them when they won’t lift a finger for me.  I’m trying to move my life around to support this place.  The reality is my job needs me and I’ve forgotten that.  I’m working to support my life therefore my job supports my lifestyle- it doesn’t need to be my life supporting my job.

We need to remember why we work.  I bought into what I was told would happen by getting a “secure” job in the medical field.  Depending on what side you’re on, you are replaceable.  That is a shitty feeling for anyone.  I’m not even talking about looking for validation, I’m talking about the fact that if someone doesn’t like you, they will actively try to kick you out like some high school clique.  The goal in life is to become who we are and celebrate that and to fulfill our purpose, it isn’t to work ourselves to death for someone else’s goal.  We need to learn to believe in ourselves more than we believe in what we are sold.  Remember where your power is—it’s in your hands.  It’s in your soul and you know it.  Don’t let some place dictate your worth or manipulate your emotions.  We are all worth more than that.  We deserve more than that—you work to support your LIFE, not to ask permission to live.  Support your life and your dreams—you don’t need permission to like what you do, you don’t need permission to go for what works for you, and you don’t need permission to set the boundary to stop something if it is toxic to you.  Throw that crap out! Do what calls to you and remember: you call the shots.

It’s Not That Serious

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We’ve been working on a huge project at work for new legislation that went into effect this year.  I was the initial lead on this project and I dove in wholeheartedly.  It was interesting and I took the time to understand what we were going for.  After some time, it became apparent that I understood the work, but I didn’t understand how to implement it.  I will fully admit that.  I wasn’t prepared to implement new legislation in spite of knowing what needed to be done.  My boss gave the project over to a couple of other leaders and at first it hurt, but I realized there were simply things I didn’t know.

As the project continued, something else became apparent: not one person knew how to implement this shit either.  A flash of anger came in as I saw this new group struggling with the exact same thing I did and I momentarily asked why it would be taken from me if we were in the exact same spot…and then it hit me: This is NOT the thing I want to be doing.  Making decisions about people’s health care based on a physician’s decision, taking responsibility for informing patients of what a physician is doing—it felt wrong.  Making decisions about healthcare that clearly profit a physician started making me sick.  And here we were sitting at this table trying to figure it out with no real guidance and something came over me: this isn’t it.  There are more important things in this world. 

Taking life seriously especially in this climate of EVERYTHING IS UNKNOWN is simply a waste of time.  There are a few things I know.  1. You can’t know something without learning it.  Simply put, if you aren’t taught how to do something, it will not magically come to you.  That isn’t to say innate talent doesn’t exist, but the world doesn’t work that way for all things.  A boss having an expectation for execution without direction is a recipe for failure.  2. Anyone who has that expectation is unrealistic and you don’t want to be there—at least I don’t.  3. Looking like you know something is given more creedence than ACTUALLY knowing something.  And that is when I had my break down.  I could laugh.  We were fighting for an appearance, not actual knowing.  In that context, you will never be enough for anyone and your worth can pivot in a second.

The most important thing is knowing ourselves.  Knowing when to cut through the bullshit ourselves and simply be who we are.  There is more worth in being ourselves rather than pretending you are something else.  And when we work so hard to project an image, we forget that everyone is projecting an image as well.  We take the image so seriously—we take the pretend more seriously than the reality.  And it feels so wrong. We start seeing the new reality.  Things that were true at one time are no longer true today.  It’s a game and then something happens where we don’t want to play anymore.  We have to play our own game—or no game at all.  The reality of it all is that no one knows what the hell they’re doing.  We are all just trying to figure it out.  Life is too short and too precious to be taken so seriously.  Take it while you can and love it while you have it.  You will never be this young again—just take it.

Let Yourself Be Taught–A Train Exchange

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I had a little side story that came up the other day.  I’m proud to take action on the things I want to do this year and one of those things is letting go of who I told myself I was.  The perfectionist, the one who is right, the one who cleans up all the messes.  None of that is really me—even though that is how I have been living.  That was so externally focused for me and it took all my attention away from what I really knew I wanted to do.  I know now I was using those external things as a distraction because I didn’t really believe that I was capable of achieving what I wanted to do.  I also used to think if I didn’t know everything I was an idiot so I felt I constantly had to prove myself over and over again.

My husband and I live near some train tracks and I woke up the other day to the train stopped outside.  I could see it through our backyard as I worked in my office and I was curious.  We’ve only been here a few months and I’ve never seen that happen so I didn’t know if something was wrong or not.  I even started telling myself stories about a sort of apocalypse with like a military take over—I mean, cool story, but I have a super over-active imagination.  Regardless, I told my husband and he told me that the exchange isn’t that far down so sometimes they will stop to switch out the cars.  I’ve seen the interchange he was talking about a million times and didn’t realize it was still a functioning exchange.  And the simplest explanation wins.     

When we live thinking we know it all we cut ourselves off from the opportunity to gain some real wisdom. I literally used to think it meant I was stupid if I didn’t know something, especially because I always felt like I needed to prove how much I knew because of how I looked. As time has gone on, I know it isn’t a matter of our intelligence or our worth or our ability—it is simply a matter of taking in more information.  And that is what living is about—learning from each other as we live.  I mean, at the end of the day we can’t know it all.  The human brain isn’t designed that way, we are meant to help each other.  When we allow, we create space to find something else and that is where the magic is.