Today I’m grateful to remember that destruction doesn’t mean ending. Destruction can mean a new beginning. It’s a chance for a clean slate and a stronger foundation. The truth is I spent my entire life fearing what I didn’t know and trying to avoid things falling apart. I thought the purpose of life was to keep it looking a certain way and that meant holding onto beliefs from ages ago, many of which weren’t even mine. But today, I am reminded that destruction, while it can be scary or even painful, it doesn’t have to be a show stopper. It can be the cleansing we need. It can be the start we never knew we were looking for.
Today I am grateful to remember that regardless of how it feels when the world spins out of control, we still have control of ourselves. There are opportunities that come from the darkest depths that we never thought possible. Just because things don’t look how you envisioned them doesn’t mean they aren’t exactly what you need them to be. Control is an illusion regardless—we don’t have it even when we take every precaution we can think of. Life isn’t meant to be controlled, it is meant to be experienced. I no longer want to go through my life bracing for each day—I want to experience each day.
Today I am grateful for creation. Over the last few weeks I’ve spoken about some of the trauma and some of the pain we’ve experienced in the family over the last few weeks. I’ve also spoken about how that relates to traumas we’ve had over the years, over generations. Along with destruction and control, remembering that I have to use my own wings has shown me that it isn’t too late to learn to fly—it just takes some work. There are possibilities every day and we are responsible for taking the chances on the ones that are meant for us. We get to decide what we want our lives to look like. It’s not a race, it’s not a competition, it’s a slow and steady creation of what works for us.
Today I am grateful for protection. It has felt lonely over the last few weeks and there were moments I didn’t think I was supported for anything. I look back now and I see that I’ve been learning to support myself. I’ve been too reliant on other people to come to the rescue when I’ve been meant to learn to support myself. On a healing journey, sometimes the path leads us back to ourselves. It doesn’t mean we are alone—it means that we need to look for support somewhere other than where we’ve been looking, and that is ok. Sometimes that support comes from ourselves. What I really learned is that learning to support myself was divinely guided. In order to help people find themselves, I needed to find me—and I had to trust that I could do it.
Today I am grateful for reminders to be proud of myself. I’m reading The High 5 Habit by Mel Robbins and it is an excellent reminder that the love we have for ourselves is foundational. Trusting ourselves and celebrating where we are and where we are going is necessary to keep ourselves moving. I’ve always been hyper critical of everything I’ve done. If didn’t think I could do it perfectly, I wouldn’t even try it which kept me cemented in place. Learning to support myself and be my own cheerleader (and for everyone to learn to cheer for themselves) is key. It ISN’T selfish. In a perfectionist society we all feel that we can’t show ourselves unless we are perfect. But that isn’t real. Celebrating who we are is how we learn to keep the momentum going.
Today I am grateful for breath. There is so much life to live and to be alive means we have a purpose. I’m allowed to have what I need to fulfill my purpose regardless of what that looks like to other people. Our paths are different and our stories are different. My requirements are not the same as yours and vice versa. That is OK. To not take what is required to fulfill my purpose for the sake of your opinion is childish and selfish. We are given a gift from the time we take our first breath and it isn’t owed to those around us. It is owed to the entire universe INCLUDING those around us. We are all the same and to be healed means we understand that connection. While we have breath in our bodies, we have a purpose and I am not going to waste mine.
Today I am grateful for support from unexpected places. As things have slowly gotten back to normal around the house, I am still settling in to a few new things. I have received some unexpected support from people I didn’t think I would. I also received some criticism from people I thought would have my back. The point is, support comes from unexpected places and it can come in unexpected ways–but it always comes when we need it.
Wishing everyone a wonderful week ahead.