We all have days when we simply feel like we are running on empty. Nothing we do is enough and it feels like we are choking on next steps and a list of things to do that never ends. It feels like there is no praise, no result that will come from all of the effort and we find ourselves asking why we do it and why we aren’t enough to yield the results we’ve been working for. Life has a tendency to pile things and then suddenly release the pressure. I drew my cards today and they were all about having faith. Specifically things like, “all that I love is more important than all that I fear” and “the more energy and intention I bring to my faith the more fearless and free I am.” As fate would have it, I also saw a snippet within seconds (also from Gabby Bernstein) about needing to surrender because all of the doing gets in the way of allowing things to catch up. No amount of doing is going to speed up the process, you have to stop because in the mind, you’re miles ahead of where you’re at.
Sometimes when you feel at your lowest, the universe sends you signs through people, cards, animals, whatever it may be, that in reality, you are doing just fine. The pressure is coming from YOU. That was my reminder that all the pressure I’ve been facing came from me. I’ve never kept it secret that I have high expectations of myself, but in the past two days I’ve heard from two separate people in two separate instances that I put too much pressure on myself. One of these people is my boss and she spoke to me about this during my annual review. She even went so far as to say that those expectations are what’s keeping me from greatness. This one shocked me because she has such high expectations for herself, I never considered she saw what I was going through to keep up. As fate would have it, I met with my mentor earlier this week and she said something similar…that’s what gets the wheels turning.
It’s about progress, not perfection. I’ve heard this multiple times in my life and maybe my need to do is my way of proving I’ve earned whatever is coming my way. I have a long history of childhood need to prove and that has followed into adulthood. I’ve never stopped to consider that I don’t need to prove to the universe either. I know, it’s confusing. I speak about inherent worth, but like the true Type A that I am, I never really believed it about myself. I kept the pressure on to always BE ON. I over-checked and over-thought and over-prepared and over everything in order to make sure that nothing was amiss. I wanted to make sure everything was exactly as it should be and no one needed to worry because I got it thank you very much. But that is impossible to maintain for a long time because—LIFE.
I’m seeing more and more how life is simply enough. I’ve been so worried about doing well that I haven’t been doing at all. I’ve been spinning and I’ve been missing out on what’s in front of me. It’s amazing how we keep coming back to the same lessons, isn’t it? Are we that stubborn so we hold on to the familiar patterns? Or are we that naïve to believe we really let go when we haven’t? Maybe it’s both. Either way, the universe always keeps us in check. So for today, bring in the scattered energies and simply relax. Focus on one thing at a time and allow the results to unfold. You are enough just as I am. There is no need to prove today, there is no need to push. Simply be. You aren’t being lazy, you’re allowing the universe to do what it needs to do in order to catch up. Have some fun and enjoy.