Category Archives: Advice

All of These Things Still Exist

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Last night we had a disturbing experience with one of our neighbors.  It was disturbing due to the behavior on both of our parts, that can’t be denied, but it absolutely infuriated me to no end.  After spending a night fuming about this and replaying it over and over again, I can narrow down the issue to one key thing: there is entirely too little respect in this world anymore.  We may pretend we have respect for one another as we give our stiff nods of hello and our untruthful greeting of “How are you?” “Fine” in reply, but it doesn’t exist in the true sense anymore.

Respect is defined as due regard for the feelings, wishes, rights, or traditions of others.  And just to clarify, regard is used as a verb here and means consider or think of someone or something in a specified way.  In short, think about the impact of your actions on other people.  We have become so self-centered that we don’t know how to think beyond our own needs and wants and it is tearing this world apart.  Our actions effect more than our individual worlds and it’s easy to forget that because we are only looking for the direct impact in our own.

During this confrontation last night issues of sexism and proprietary law came into question among other things.  This all started simply because we have had issues with our neighbors being too loud for a long time.  We had previously spoken to them about it and the gentleman asked that we call him in the future so he can handle it—he never gave us his number and we should have done our due diligence to ask for it after the first incident.  Regardless, it was 12:00AM and we could still hear their surround sound pushing base.  My husband went over to tell them to turn it down and after a minute or so I hear the yelling so I went outside.  As I didn’t hear the beginning of the conversation, I don’t know what escalated the situation initially but it devolved into some choice words and me telling the neighbor I would be calling the cops and his response being “You’re a woman, I have nothing to say to you.”

It absolutely disgusts me that we live in a world, in the 21st century and this sexist, demeaning behavior still happens.  I own my home-that is my name on the mortgage that I pay.  It doesn’t matter what gender I am, show me some respect.  Show any of your neighbors respect.  If I come speak to you property owner to property owner, that is enough to warrant you listen and address what I have to say.  If you’re going to be ignorant enough to not hear that because I’m a woman, then yeah, you deserve whatever penalty you face when I escalate the situation to the authorities.

Normally I like to discuss things that are uplifting but there are so many sobering reminders on a daily basis that we are broken and need to fix things.  To entirely dismiss someone because of their gender is unacceptable.  The world needs to learn more tolerance and openness to their own errors.  Your behavior is always in flux and you will be the bad guy in some people’s stories.  Own your part in it because part of growth and evolution is understanding where you are compared to where you want to be.  There is nothing wrong with admitting you need some work—in fact that’s the only way we know to move forward.  I would rather have someone apologize meaningfully and move forward together than have someone dismiss me because they are convinced they did no wrong.  Hear each other out.  Hear what we have to say to each other.  Understand what we are really asking for: respect.

Sunday Gratitude

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Today I am grateful for the air in my lungs.  Feeling my body inhaling and exhaling kept me centered nearly all day.  I had to remind myself that sometimes we have to take things slower than we intended and that it is ok to take it one breath at a time.

Today I am grateful for my beating heart.  Feeling the rhythmic pumping, so automated in its job, reminds me not to waste it because we never know when it will stop.  Each beat is a gift and it is filled with purpose.  Our job is not to waste those precious moments.

Today I am grateful to remember it is these key functions in life that push us forward.  We are given the ability to move and create and build a life—it is up to us to make the most of it.  I struggle with the perception of time and today ended up much further from where I wanted to be, but I moved forward nonetheless.

Today I am grateful for getting back into routine.  While I’m working on building the life I want, I see what works for me and what doesn’t.  I am reshaping the routine that I was used to in favor of the routine I want to have for myself.

Today I am grateful for a weekend spent rejuvenating (for the most part).  We were supposed to get a terrible storm so we had prepped early so we could stay home as needed.  While there were some tense moments, I was definitely able to spend time at home working on the other things I wanted to.  Saturday was much more productive than today, but, seeing as change is uncomfortable, switching it up and learning what works for me self-care wise is a worthy investment.

Today I am grateful for seeing the real side of people.  I learned a painful lesson last night, one that will take a while to want to discuss, but I learned it.  Sometimes the people you think are in your court simply are in their own.  It doesn’t mean you are bad or stupid, it just means you left your heart open to the wrong people.  Cut your losses, wish them well, and move on.

Today I am grateful for the time to really think about my role in this world.  My husband was not feeling the greatest today so we ended up with quite a bit of down time.  I felt frustrated and alone, but as the day went on, I realized the pause was there to help me recognize where I have the opportunity to readjust.  Not only that but where I have the opportunity to really move forward where I want to.  I had the time to think about the things I need to do and the changes I have to make to achieve those goals.  None of it is easy, but if I’m honest with myself, it is necessary.

Today I am grateful to understand what it means to have a team.  Based on the events of the last few weeks, I see the pattern that I really need to be cautious about who I spend my time with and where I direct my energy.  I see the people, or at least they type of people, I need to have in my court.  Since I am no longer trying to play small for the sake of others, I feel this is the natural progression of things.  The people who were with me for personal gain, whether it was money or things I gave them, will fall away as I evolve into a person who creates things.  Elevate my mindset, elevate my life, let the rest fall away.

Today I am grateful to understand that I’ve been holding onto things.  I thought it was about taking things slowly and being cautious, but now I understand it was about fear of letting go because I didn’t know what was next.  Sometimes we have to approach change like pulling off a band-aid.  Rip it off quickly and move on—especially when we’ve been holding so tightly to things that don’t serve.

Joy Begets Joy

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“When I introduce joy to a situation, I change the vibrational frequency of what’s happening around me.”  Gabby Bernstein, Super Attractor deck.  I love this because it is the perfect sentiment to what is going on around me has no bearing on how I react and behave.  I can still be joyful, it’s a choice.  I used to get completely annoyed with people who would profess things like that because I never understood how you couldn’t react to a situation.  Then I realized it’s about understanding who you want to be and behaving like that and living at that level.

Tonight is a trying night for me because of little silly things:  the cats are acting insane, the dog peed on the floor, the dog won’t go to the bathroom outside, my husband is crabby for no reason, and my son didn’t want to come home and then he didn’t want to eat dinner.  Nothing major by any means but enough of the tiny things to annoy me nonetheless.  I know I can still be happy in spite of the storm around me.  Sometimes when that storm is raging for others, as difficult as it is, you can still be the port for someone else.  So I’m working on this and listening to my son play and I’m giving my husband some space to figure out what exactly the issue is.

I’ve been thinking about the way we’ve allowed ourselves to become so narcissistic.  I let those silly little things get to me and they are so not part of the big picture.  There are real tragedies befalling this world right now.  People talking about world war three, Australia is on fire, the government is so corrupt it isn’t even funny and we still allow ourselves to fall into the trap of the small stuff.  The things we think are important but in reality have no bearing on what we do or what happens in the world.  I feel helpless in some regards but I know the one thing I can control is my attitude toward these situations, both small and big.

The world needs people to vibrate at a higher frequency with more thought and intention.  We need to operate from a place of understanding and mutual compromise.  I don’t profess to have the answer to fix the overall situation but I do believe it always starts with us.  The more we connect with authentic self and learn about what makes our individual worlds light up, the more we can put that out into the world with love and joy.  From there we will understand more of what doesn’t resonate or promote a feeling of positivity.  I truly believe that we can then begin to reconstruct our belief system to something that does work for the benefit of all.

The universe in its breadth and span of time is so enormous that it seems to me that much of what we do here is so trivial and outmoded that we need to elevate to a higher level of functioning.  With that being said, we have to learn to speak the language of the universe by recognizing that language within ourselves first.  Only then can we begin to understand how we are all connected and how the little things we have created here mean nothing.  All of our rules were devised by man in an effort to elicit control of some sort.  I believe that once we have a different understanding of our role in the universe, our motives will shift as well.

So start small.  Start with what makes you happy and move toward that.  Speak of the joy you feel when you work with something that speaks to you.  Speak of the joy you feel when you feel it—don’t wait for the “right” time.  There is no reason to play small—the universe is plenty big enough to support all of our dreams.  We created this system based off of what we knew at the time.  It’s time to know better and to behave better because it is the right thing to do.  Start small.  Start with you.  Joy begets joy and light will attract more light and that is something the world needs desperately.  Remember the beautiful gift we have all been given in this opportunity to be here and now and share it as far as you can.

Looking for Guidance

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“I’m in awe of the magnificent guidance that’s available to me,” Gabby Bernstein, Super Attractor Deck.  I drew that card this morning when I was literally asking for advice.  I specifically asked for guidance on how to handle the day and that was the answer.  For me that meant to be open to all of the different kinds of guidance in the universe.  There are signs everywhere as long as we pay attention.

We have to learn to look at what is happening and understand it for what it is trying to tell us.  When we’re in a hurry and we hit a red light or a ton of traffic, maybe the universe is telling us to find another route to avoid an accident, or maybe the person we are meeting is running late as well.  It’s easy to get caught up in the frustration and give into the fear during the moment and lose sight of any other messages.  In order to avoid that type of frustration, like with most things, it’s about retraining the mind.  It’s about not giving into the emotion or the power surrounding you.  It’s about retaining your power.

It is a lot of work to not give into long rooted patterns.  Emotional control is easily one of my biggest challenges.  I’m a passionate person and it never occurred to me to NOT give into what I was feeling.  So it took a lot to start looking for the signs before allowing myself to “go there” emotionally.  It can be a certain feeling in your body or a recurring thought.  Let the way you’re feeling be a trigger to you to pay attention.  Notice that you’re leaning toward the old reaction and pause.  Take all the time you need to redirect until the feeling passes.  Again, I don’t profess this is easy.

While this kind of training is difficult, it is incredibly rewarding to have peace of mind.  Decisions come easier when you pay attention to what is around you because you feel connected.  Connection is what we are all really striving for but we sometimes become distracted by what we need to be connected to.  As I mentioned above, there is guidance available everywhere.  Just because a message comes in a different guise doesn’t mean it’s not a message for us.

I read a lot of advice and self-help because I am trying to be the best version of myself.  I have to remind myself that just reading that material isn’t enough to be that version I see of myself: it takes practice.  So when I see something that is reminiscent of what I was reading of working on no matter how mundane, I always take it as confirmation that I’m on the right path.  Sharing the guidance I receive after I can speak to putting it into practice is what I enjoy doing.  I want people to be able to see the messages they are so desperately seeking when they need them most.

I believe that people can always do their best.  Put all the insecurities aside and all of the self-doubt and just let yourself out of the cage.  Set your mind on what you are trying to accomplish and find the signs that will keep you on track.  Even if it doesn’t look how you think it should, listen when your gut is telling you to follow it.

Change and Evolution of the Mind

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In case it isn’t clear yet, I ponder the messages of the universe a lot.  I don’t pretend that I can do any of this on my own.  I absolutely need guidance from something other than myself.  So much of what goes through my head is a twisted jumble that takes me years to sort through.  If I’m honest, I’m not sure if I’ve ever managed to finish sorting through anything yet.  I’m still learning to be this person.  It’s taken me over 35 years to learn that you don’t have to be who you were at the start.  Life evolves and we have to evolve with it.  If we don’t we will never truly thrive.  We may survive the turmoil of living a half-life between who we think we need to be and who we truly are, but it will never be as great as it could be.  I personally think everyone benefits when wake up and start answering and honoring our highest potential.  When we fulfill our purpose the world benefits.

As I was working through the fact that I am a work in progress and I can continue to define who I am and what my work entails, I turned to my Super Attractor Deck.  The card I drew was “Believing in spiritual guidance gives me certainty and the freedom to keep dreaming, even when I can’t yet see the result.”  This beautiful card nailed it.  If we are a work in progress (which we all are) we will never see the end. We haven’t defined anything to the point of knowing how it ends yet.  Specifically related to this work, having faith in the work I am doing and in the evolution I am sharing with all of you is what I want to do now.  I don’t know what it is going to turn into.  I don’t know where it will go from here.  My hope is that some of you find value in these messages and apply them to your own lives to spark something wonderful that is already present in you.

The beauty of life is that we can constantly start over.  We have to retrain our mind to understand that we don’t need to be perfect from the start.  90% of what we see on a daily basis is either the result of a ton of work we didn’t see or it is fabricated to elicit a result out of us.  When we look at the speed media flies nowadays, it’s easy to set up the expectation that we need to match what others are saying they have done without knowing the details.  Forget the expectation.  Forge the results you are looking for by following the path you are meant to follow rather than spending a gifted life playing catch up on someone else’s trail.  Yes, that may mean you have to start over a million times until you find what works for you.  But keep taking those steps and trust that it is ok to shift as everything else shifts.

We are not meant to stagnate.  We are not meant to make a definitive decision about what our lives will be when we are still children and then stick to it because we said that is what we wanted.  Life is about the experience and the dance and, my friends, the music changes constantly.  You can’t keep shuffling the same steps to a new tune.  Hone faith in whatever it is you believe in.  For me that is spirit and source.  It took a long time to even get here for me and I have a long way to go.  But I love the work and I love being able to share it with all of you.  Watch me dance 😊

Sunday Gratitude

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Today I am grateful for teamwork.  My husband and I managed to get ourselves back on track with cleaning the house after the holidays and our son’s birthday party.  We even managed to do some rearranging in our bedroom and get some furniture fixed.  It was a wonderful feeling to be working together and to be productive going into the next week.

Today I am grateful for the ability to prepare nutritious meals for the week.  After the recent illness in our house, it gave me some pause about keeping my body healthy.  I was able to take some time today to organize and prepare food to help keep me on track.  This isn’t a resolution thing, this is a thing to help me stay healthy after my body went through the ringer with being sick.

Today I am grateful for awesome music and dance time with my son.  While we had the house torn apart again in an effort to clean and purge toys, I was able to make a game of it with our son and we danced and laughed together.  The pure joy on my son’s face was absolutely the most fulfilling feeling because I was able to share those moments of song and love with him.

Today I am grateful for clean clothes.  I was able to get a lot of laundry done with the help of my husband and able to prepare that for the week as well.  It felt good to be able to get that done while we were doing other things around the house.

Today I am grateful for the little things.  The toys I managed to purge are going to my great-nephew and I love that we can give them to a good home.  He will be able to make wonderful memories with those the same as my son did.  I love that we could spend time together working on family projects because we were able to build our communication as we discussed what needed to be done.

Today I am grateful to spend time with my animals.  It was nice to let lose and have some fun and watch the animals run around enjoying their toys.

Today I am grateful for the party we threw for my son yesterday.  He had an amazing time with family and friends and we had good food and he was gifted so many things he can use and play with that he won’t need anything else for quite a while.  Having everyone together for my son was so nice as he is the common thread between two families and our friends.  We are truly blessed.

Today I am grateful to have the opportunity to spread some light in the world.  There are a lot of dark things going on right now and it helps to think of the things that we have that are going well.  We need to remember more often that this world is full of light.  Even though there are dark things, the more light we bring to them, the less power they have.  It is up to us to make the time to focus on the positive because it’s time to deescalate the volatility currently happening.  We all need to pause and remember what we have to be grateful for and to spread the reminders of the beautiful little things out there.  Be the light.  Be the love we all need right now.

Fear or Friend?

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“I don’t have to fear my fear, I can use it as a way to get closer to love,” Gabby Bernstein, Super Attractor Deck.  This is actually incredibly personal for me.  I am a person who, admittedly, has been fearful most of my life.  From the every day things to the BIG things, my brain has managed to warp nearly everything into something of near catastrophic proportions.  Ironically, in most cases when there was a real emergency, I was always prepared and I made it through those calmly and with flying colors.  Maybe it was the years of replaying horrific circumstances in my mind that made me prepared, maybe I was functioning in a broken state.  I digress.

For a long time I looked at life as something to control.  I thought it was just me being prepared, being the adult in the situation but really it was me wanting to call the shots over everything.  I absolutely did that out of fear.  I didn’t want to lose anything, I wanted to have the answers, I wanted to be prepared, I wanted to know what was coming, and I wanted to have a response to anything that came my way.  Again, those were all responses to fear of the unknown.

I know this started as a child because I had older siblings and my habit of proving things to people started there.  I wanted to prove I could keep up and I hated being left behind or shown that I was wrong about something because I would be made fun of for it.  It progressed from there to school as well (still as young as grade school).  I was terrified of being wrong because it seemed I was always made fun of for it.  No one taught me it was a learning experience—it was just something that I was belittled for it.  Lack of knowledge was laughable.

Then fear spread to everything.  I lost my grandfather and that cut me deeper than anything at that point in my life.  Couple that with a lack of trust with my closest family and I began to fear life itself.  I couldn’t stand the unpredictability.  I hated not knowing what was coming.  I hated not knowing period.  I became afraid, like I said, of everything.

I’ve learned to look at the things I feared in different ways.  For example, I don’t fear failure or being wrong.  I have truly adopted the mentality that failure is a learning experience.  However, brains run on the path of least resistance and for me that path still trends towards fear so my brain often comes up with new things to fear.  It likes to remind me of things that I’ve done wrong (re-living embarrassment) and it likes to remind me of the things I know will happen but don’t know when like illness and death.

The idea of making peace with each thing I fear is comforting to me.  I have had success with the small things and it gives me some hope that fear is something that I am able to live with.  Liz Gilbert says in Big Magic that fear is allowed to come along for the ride but it isn’t allowed to drive.  I spent a lot of time as a passenger to fear in my life.  I let it call all the shots including when I went out with friends or when my husband and I went out to eat as well as when we had a child.  I let it decide that I wasn’t going to go away to school, I let it keep me in a job I detested for years, and I let it prevent me from sticking with my decisions, and worst, I let it keep me from going after my goals.  I hated fear for a long time until I realized that it was my reactions to the fear that I hated, not the fear itself.

Learning to look at fear as something that needs to be loved is a challenge.  Most of us have a strong negative reaction to the emotion and recognize that it is not comfortable to sit with it so our first instinct is to push it away.  The truth is fear is just doing its job.  It’s trying desperately to protect us and sometimes it gets a little too amped.  Piggy Backing off of yesterday’s conversation about choosing our thoughts, it is up to us to look at fear for what it really is: a primal directive toward self-preservation.  We have always had the wheel—we just need to do a better job of steering where we go.  Leaning into fear and making a collaborative agreement with it can lead us to love—because we are learning to love the darkest parts of us.

What it Means to Feel Good

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“My ability to receive is measured by how much I practice good feeling thoughts,” Gabby Bernstein, Super Attractor Deck.  This message has come up for me a lot.  I never looked at manifesting as receiving.  I know that’s silly, but I always looked at it as creating or working with the universe to bring something to fruition.  I had to learn that manifesting, while it is about co-creating, IS about receiving.  It is also a gift in itself.

Moving forward into the new year is all about maintaining control.  Emotional control, that is.  It’s about understanding that it’s necessary to cultivate a sense of awareness that allows you to decide your state at all times.  It’s understanding that our decisions take us where we want to be, not what happens to us.  When you have that understanding you know you can choose your thoughts.

This is an art that does require practice—and I am guilty of allowing myself to get carried away with what I’m feeling in the moment.  A lot.  I have become acutely aware that if I want to make progress that I need to take charge of the things I can control—and the only thing that any of us really have control over are our actions and emotions.  Even if there are thoughts that come to mind, we can take the time to acknowledge them and move on.  It’s a lot of effort but it is effort well worth it.  Liz Gilbert speaks of her friend Richard from Texas in Eat, Pray, Love and how he told her that you have to select your thoughts the same way you select your clothes and I love that.

Cultivating good feeling thoughts allows the space for our deepest desires to come to life.  It allows the space for the things we want to manifest in the world.  This happens because when we feel good we are in alignment with our purpose and that purpose brings us fulfillment.  It also shows trust in the universe because we are being playful and going with the process, knowing that the process will get us where we need to be.

So the goal is to practice, practice, practice those good feeling thoughts.  Learn to recognize what helps us illicit that emotion and how to leave behind the things that don’t.  The things we want are on the other side of what we are afraid of.  They are on the other side of what we are afraid to let go of.  They are also on the other side of what we are afraid to admit to ourselves.  Learning what works for us, what feels emotionally good to us, helps us to discover the things we really want rather than constantly doing what we think we have to do.

Once we accept that we are meant to feel good and that we are meant for more than we have ever been told, we will see the results begin to shift in our lives.  We can learn to work through challenges because we see them as opportunities or we move onto something that is better for us.  Feeling good is the start.  Make the choice to feel good mentally and to maintain emotional control and watch what happens.

First Steps Into the New Year

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I read Lena Dunham’s post today about lessons to take into 2020.  She wrote about going slower than you think you should because it ultimately adds up to more.  On this first day of 2020 that is a lesson I take to heart.  I’m struggling today with the little projects that genuinely looked little when I began them and then turned into an ordeal.  I literally have NO idea how that happened.  It was nothing major (just taking down interior lights and the small trees) and somehow the fucking carpets ended up cleaned, the kitchen floor washed, my son’s toys put together.  I seriously don’t know.  That’s how much auto-pilot is on for me.

I think it’s important to re-evaluate the necessity of going slow.  I’m not talking about neglecting things that need to get done, but learning to take your time in doing it.  I had to stop several times during the clean up today because I started feeling ill again.  A feeling that I hate (as I mentioned a few days ago) is helplessness.  I hate being captive to things outside of me.  And it’s even harder to accept that it’s my own body making the decisions for me.  I’m used to being able to accomplish a certain amount in a certain time and now that I can’t I feel like I’m up fighting to even stay awake.  There’s nothing I can do about it either.

So, in the spirit of shifting perspective, going slow can be the exact thing I need right now.  I had been expecting myself to enter the New Year with a bang, taking on my business and my projects and unveiling them to the world and storming forward.  I still want to do those things, that hasn’t changed, but the energy I thought I would have is absent.  It’s definitely making me think more clearly about the next steps I need to take.  There is value in going slow.  As Lena said, you ultimately get more out of it in the long run.

Admittedly, I have plowed through most of my life looking for the end result without taking a moment to savor what’s in front of me in the moment. Honestly, I think I wanted to get it done as fast as I could so I could enjoy the result more. The Universe is telling me in its own way that it’s time to take in what is around me now.  I am here NOW.  There is beauty now.  You get more substance from the end result and it lasts longer when you take the time to go through it all.

I don’t want to rush my life away–I want to revel in it.  That means enjoying the stinky parts, the difficult parts, and yes, even the slow parts.  All of that together is what makes life.  We can’t slice and dice or close our eyes through the stuff we don’t like.  I was in the middle of working on this content when my kid had a melt-down and I knew he needed a nap.  So I had to stop and put his little boy mind at ease and get him into bed and stay with him until he fell asleep.  There is nothing wrong with that.  He knows that mommy is there for him to help him when he needs it.  I wanted to be a more present parent and I did that.  The work still got done.  Time isn’t the enemy—our perception of it is.  So don’t be afraid to slow down.  It will all unfold as it should;  that is trust, that is peace.

Celebrating What’s Been, Celebrating What Will Be

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On this last day of 2019, I release it all.  I am leaving the weight of my anger, expectations, and perfectionism behind.  I am moving forward with grace, compassion, and faith.  I am also moving forward with hope and belief.  Belief in myself.  Belief in my ability.  Belief in my creativity.  Believe in my purpose.  Believe in trust.  Belief in love.

I seek to control my emotions and to be the driver of my life.  I seek to co-create the life of my dreams.

I will live each day with gratitude.  I will remember the joy in the beautiful in-between moments.  I will work with my anxiety to give it space, not control.  I will live limitlessly—I want to be drunk on life.  I will let endeavors take off and dance with my dream of coaching and writing because it feels good.  Feeling good is enough reason to do it.

I will dance with the bad days too because even on those days I AM ALIVE.

No one has control over how my future goes except me and I choose to live lightly from now on.  I do not have to react to their behaviors as long as I stay centered in my own.

My health and the health of my family is a priority.  We will live well and simply.

I invite clarity into my world.  Clarity and ownership for my actions.

I’m leaving the weight of what others have done to me behind as well.  Other people’s garbage is not my burden.

I feel the opening of an amazing life—the life of my dreams.

I am grateful for the amazing life I have and for the opportunity to mold it into more.  I choose to feel GOOD.  Fear will not hold me back.  I embrace me and I love me.  It’s a choice to do it differently.  I don’t have to jump to the same orders, the thought of what I’m “supposed to” do.  I can change the steps.

Let what doesn’t serve lay where it is.  Rachel Wolchin said, “Bad News: You’re growing and it’s uncomfortable.  Good News: It’s uncomfortable but you’re growing.”

Here’s to health, success, happiness, and wealth in every form in 2020—make it beautiful, make it everything you want it to be, make it joyous.