I’ve heard the adage about not blaming the plant for not blooming and changing the environment it is in—I’ve written about it here before. I’ve heard it applied to other people as well. Today, I heard it applied to SELF. If we aren’t blooming, we have to examine our environment. We have to be discerning enough to know what works for us and what doesn’t. We have to be sincere enough in our boundaries and our purpose to maintain them and to leave. Maybe not sincere, but clear. Also firm enough to stick with it. I’ve also heard and written about the same thing when it comes to saying loving words to plants and the impact it has on their growth. I’ve heard it applied to other people. What if we apply that to ourselves as well? I mean, it isn’t new or revolutionary, but truly believing and integrating what it means to take care of yourself and to love yourself is really hard to do. We still feel selfish to love who we are because we always think we need to be what someone else tells us.
We over commit and we want to be liked and we have trauma and we have false beliefs about our worth. That is a lot of shit to break down to break through. But getting THERE makes it so much better. The universe responds to us. if we love ourselves, we grow. When we grow, we swerve our purpose. And don’t confuse your purpose with your value and your worth. Our purpose is a deeply personal thing—that is why it’s called OUR purpose. A plant literally just sits there but without them we die. A plant doesn’t want to rule or be more grand than the plant next to it: it wants to root and photosynthesize and bloom when it needs to let out the beauty it has inside. We don’t need to achieve anything other than serving our purpose—and again, that is different for everyone. Some people are meant to be in the limelight so they can entertain, some people are meant to be the life of the party. Others are meant to more delicately spread/share what we have to say.
We are in an interesting time when it comes to self-love. We are smack in the middle of a transition between a generation who emphasized group love but never truly applied it to all people, yet their actions were still rewarded and supported as long as they fit the “appropriate mold” and a generation so focused on internal issues that we have had to redefine identity. I’ve said here a million times that self love isn’t selfish. I’ve also written about how, if we are going to have those types of expectations of people that we can’t expect them to be mind readers and adapt to everything we expect because that is when our journey through identity becomes selfish. But the problem is, we are the result of a generation that didn’t learn true love—they learned conditional love. They were valued based on their production, not their existence. And now we have a generation that comes in and says me just being here is enough. And the ironic part is there is truth to both, we just need to tweak the messaging.
OUR EXISTENCE IS ENOUGH AS LONG AS WE FULFILL THE PURPOSE WE WERE BROUGHT HERE FOR, NOT SOMEONE ELSE’S. Before you get all worked up, let me explain. The generation before us was right in the regard we do need to work and we do need to be productive. But the upcoming generation is right in that production has no value if it isn’t what we know we are meant to do. That doesn’t mean acquiring things, it means sharing the gifts we have openly. When we spend our time doing what others expect of us we build resentment because we miss out on the life we are supposed to have. Again, not that we are all supposed to have grand materialistic lives in the spotlight, but when we waste our days in a cubicle staring at computer screens trying to make the guys above us rich when the universe is telling us to get out there and make some art for people to appreciate, we know we can miss our shot.
It’s time to find the middle ground. Let’s create a place where we are able to sustain ourselves based on who we are. Let’s create a reality where we redefine value. Value isn’t determined by money. That’s a hard one to swallow for some people. Value isn’t determined by likes or by attention. Value is a deeply personal thing. The truth is we have the most valuable thing the second we are brought into this world: life. Life is infinitely full of possibility and potential. For some of us we’ve had a lifetime of “no” and thinking that ANYTHING outside the box of what we are supposed to do is selfish. I’m here to say it’s selfish to NOT share what we are meant to do. It’s selfish to not share the expression of who we are because someone needs that light. They need YOU. And most importantly, you need you. You can’t be a watered down version of yourself and expect to shine. No. Embrace the wholeness and love every aspect of who you are. That is when you grow.