The last part I want to talk about in terms of deconstructing our system is our view on the past, mistakes, and experience. We tend to view all of these things as shameful. We are taught that the things we had to go through to learn our lessons are shameful things to hide. We aren’t taught the value of integrating them and using them as the stepping stones to take us where we need to be.
We tend to have an unrealistic expectations when it comes to, well, anything. Between expecting people to read our minds, our perfectionism, and our need for attention we have created our own failures before we even try. Toss in our built-in need for control and power and soon we are living in a miserable fantasy land. We learn to carefully construct our lives so they appear a certain way—and we pretend we have no power in our lives. The illusion of lack of power leads us to seek it in any way we can.
Humans are not meant to be perfect. We are not meant to construct illusions to garner power. We are meant to tap into our innate power and to use that to fulfill our purpose. We are meant to complement each other and to help each other through our weak points. We aren’t meant to be all knowing, we are meant to learn and to help each other.
There are infinite possibilities in this universe and attempting to pursue the same dream is rather limiting. The only way to get beyond that is to tap into what you are called to do. We can’t learn what we are meant to do until we try what feels right. And those things will not always turn out. THAT is the lesson we need to learn: reframe those things that didn’t turn out into guideposts. I have spoken about this many times as a personal tool. That is always where it starts because as we begin to shift, those around us begin to shift. Slowly more and more people begin to shift and soon we can look at the bigger picture. So there is always value in wrong turns: they always end up getting us where we need to be.
When it comes to the overall look at the past, it weighs heavily on many of us. It’s difficult to reconcile certain events and we all have a few moments we wish we could erase forever. The truth is we tend to give the past too much control over our future. That is another way we give up our true power. The past is no indicator of the future. The magic we possess is that we can change the future at any time.
So what happens when we decide that what was, no longer has any say in where we are going? Anything. And everything. And exactly what is meant to be. Reframing these thoughts is challenging to say the least. We are reconciling personal trauma with historical trauma—the events that are passed to us from generations before who have endured the same traumas so often they are written in their blood. The beautiful thing about working with the universe is that as soon as the decision to change is made, the universe conspires to make it happen. All you have to do is jump in.
The goal then is to put the things long gone away safely where they no longer have an emotional impact on us. They are things that can teach us, not hurt us. Nothing more. And shame—such an unnecessary emotion. I don’t profess that we should never feel shame because, in the moment, it can quickly redirect us. But to feel shame over things that are over serves no purpose other than to cut our mind all over again. All we can do in those moments is pause and say, “thank you for the lesson, I take it and move forward.”
Imagine a world where this type of power is harnessed. Imagine how accelerated our learning would be. And for Pete’s sake, imagine what it would feel like in a world where people no longer judged what we did or what we should be doing. While I know that is an extremely lofty goal, just imagine what it would feel like. When we see the value in the experiences rather than lamenting them or chastising ourselves (or others) more possibilities open. That, my friends, is what deconstruction is really about. It’s about giving up what we know, what we know doesn’t really serve, in favor of the rebuild. As I said before, deconstruction doesn’t mean devastation. These parts are all essential to what was and what will be. But in order for them to work we need to do the work…break it down and adjust. Maybe then we can create the space for us to all fly again.