I’ve noticed the overarching theme to much of what I’ve been discussing is fear. I watched a short video today recapping “Breaking Bad.” The clip is Walter White’s speech about living his whole life scared of what may or may not happen. He said he had trouble sleeping because of these thoughts, finding himself awake at 3 in the morning. He said that once he got his diagnosis of cancer he no longer had trouble sleeping. He said, “I came to realize that fear, that’s the worst of it. That’s the real enemy.” I felt those words in my soul. I felt how true it is that as soon as our backs are up against the wall, all the bullshit we create literally disappears. We suddenly see what is important and the rest no longer creates precedence. Why is it that we allow our entire lives to go by in this state of self-induced and self-created fear?
Fear is an emotion that weighs heavily on us but we fail to see how we invite it in. We allow ourselves to lose sight of the things that matter because we give into the myriad of distractions this world offers. It all has to do with our training, our conditioning into this society. Everything we fear is entirely created in our minds.
See, once you get beyond what we are afraid of, we start to look at things differently. We start to recognize what we really need and operate from our own agenda rather than what is assigned to us. And that makes the system we live in very nervous. Clear, autonomous thought doesn’t serve well in a society that tells us what we are supposed to like, buy, consume, how we are supposed to work, how we entertain ourselves, and what we are supposed to wear, think, and do. A person who lets go of fear and works toward their own goals puts a system that tells us we need it at every turn on edge.
When I heard Walter’s speech, I immediately felt those nights. The ones where I woke up at 3am worrying about the mortgage, different bills, if I was a good enough mother, the fact that I haven’t had another kid yet, how I needed to find the right job, how I was so behind on creating my own business, what was going to happen to my parents, that I needed to be closer to my family, that I needed space, that I needed clarity, that I would never have clarity, that I needed to be more spiritual, that I was going to die, that my family was going to die, that we would never make it, that I would always struggle. And I had woken up on many nights like that from as early as I could remember.
Freedom isn’t about creating the life we are told to create. Freedom is about creating a life we love—and changing it as we see fit. Freedom is having the ability to go where we are called. Freedom isn’t about consuming what we are told, it is about creating what we want through consuming what appeals. Freedom is the ability to act on our own choices.
I want to be clear that naturally, we are NOT free from the consequences of these actions. But we have CREATED specific consequences as a society and, really, the fear isn’t about performing the act: it is about failing in the act and suffering the consequences.
If all we fear is a response to an action then we have the opportunity to look at fear differently. Once you understand that fear is about a potential perception of our actions, change what that perception is. “Failure” is really a chance to learn. Fear is what shows us where we need to go. And Fear is what keeps us caged in a broken system.
So unlock the doors of the cage by learning to take meaningful chances in your life. Take chances on the things that matter most to you. Take chances on yourself. Hell, take the chance on simply believing in who you are and that you know what you are meant to do. Take the chance that you don’t need someone to tell you what to do or how to live your day. Let go of the man-made restrictions and expectations that keep you neatly locked away. Let go of the fear of yourself and your abilities and give into what you know you are meant to do. There is nothing to fear when it comes to your authenticity. THAT is your awakening and the consequence of that is living a fulfilled life. I say if that is where fear leads me, then by all means show me the way.