“In order for any significant change to happen, we first have to believe that we can actually make an impact and that we ourselves can change,” Marie Forleo. What a perfect follow up to our discussion on seeing our own strength and getting rid of self-doubt. The first step to making change is recognizing what we are capable of. Once we recognize our capacity and learn what it takes to function at that level, there is no stopping us.
Learning to believe in our ability to change means pushing ourselves to the limit of what we think we can do. It can be anything from learning to bake, to running that extra mile, to building a website, to making that first investment. We live in our comfort zone while we dream about something else instead of actually doing it. Pushing ourselves and accomplishing what we thought we couldn’t is the ultimate way to build resilience and the ability to set the example for change. There are always the fearless few who have taken the chance to do something different than the rest. Those people are usually deemed crazy at first, but once the world sees the purpose and the intent, they usually catch on pretty quickly.
In spite of that, what really matters is YOUR vision of how something works. The point is, it doesn’t matter what they believe or not, it matters what you believe. Showing the world our example of change and the courage it takes to go against the norm breaks the cycle. The world may take some time to recognize the value in doing something differently—that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it now. We need more examples of people following their instincts and doing what is right for them. We need to show the world that there is more possible than the systems we have created. If you want to see change, you need to be the change.
The world just needs to see enough people creating a new norm for a new norm to be created—if that makes sense. Setting a new standard takes a critical mass of people stepping up and taking control of their lives. That is as radical as learning to believe in yourself and going after your dreams. Waking up from the matrix of comfort and consumerism we’ve created as a distraction from our ability and going after what we really want. But it all starts with one person and their conviction to go after what they want in spite of what other people say.
“You can literally feel when it’s time to move into your life’s next chapter” (via Be Spiritual). As I was writing about signs, I did some prep work and found this quote which was a perfect follow up. When we see what we are able to do and we start putting away all the bullshit distractions, there is an energy that clings to us and moves us in a way we never moved before. We have a tendency to allow ourselves to either collapse into our emotions or distract ourselves from them. We get caught up in what other people are doing or what we think they should be doing and we try to control what is outside of us instead of what is within ourselves. We instinctually know when what we are doing doesn’t work any longer but we drag out the inevitable and try to stick ourselves back on the path that we are used to.
I believe it’s a primal instinct that tries to keep us safe by keeping us in familiar territory. It serves a purpose because if we know what to anticipate then we know what comes next and it seems like there is no danger. We are social animals and we integrate what happens to other people before we let it happen to us. If we follow the herd we feel like we know what will happen to us. But that is not how the universe works and that is certainly not where growth is. We are meant to have our own experiences and build what works for us, and that only happens when we dive in and work with what is actually happening to us.
Being comfortable is nice because of the perceived security it provides but it doesn’t give us what we need. We get what we need when we go with the natural flow of our lives and we live our story. When we set a goal in motion, the universe will present the steps we need to take. It is up to us to either begin the climb or to fall back into old habits. It may feel good to run the track but it feels even better moving up—and the view is a hell of a lot better from the top of an accomplishment than from the bottom of a plan we never make moves on.
As soon as we got in this house and I felt my body adapting to the work I put it through, I felt a different drive. I realized that it wasn’t up to me to fight for my comfort zone, it was time to fight for what I’ve always said I wanted to do. I could feel some of the habits I took part of daily didn’t feel good anymore—they felt wrong. I could feel myself willing and ready to give up those old behaviors in favor of a new choice. It felt natural and timely. Granted, the things I’m trying to do are still going to take time and planning and focus, but that is a different type of control. It is discipline and sticking with it. That isn’t to say it’s about rigidly fixating on what needs to be done, but it is about deciding to do what aligns versus what makes you feel good in the moment. We always have a choice and it’s about favoring the long term over the present need to feel safe. Life is on the other side of that line.
The universe loves to play cosmic tricks on us and to remind us how small we are, yet how much we can actually accomplish when we focus and do the work. A few days after we moved into the new house we found out that our friends know the people who bought our old house. At first I looked at it as this is a small world, a coincidence. But the more I thought about it, I took into account how big of a coincidence it is. All of the people and events in the world who had to come together to bring that specific group of people back together and how we were meant to know our neighbors to be the ones to sell the house to a group of people they knew. There probably is some number on it, but the odds seemed pretty slim to me, yet, here we are.
I always look for signs whether it is pulling cards in the morning or looking for hawks as I’m driving along or feathers falling—whatever it is. Depending on what it is, I take it on a fairly general level (like I’m on the right track) or specific (like yes, you need to take more active steps toward X). This whole process with our move began over a year ago when we impulsively put money down on a new build and were unable to sell our home. We spent the last year improving on our finances, but I spent the last year really focusing on personal development as well and on defining what I want to do next. It wasn’t until this year when I started facing multiple issues with my health that I finally got my act together and took my role in my own life seriously. THAT is when the ball started rolling.
I stopped living my life by telling others what to do and I dove in. I started practicing what I preached—and now I know I need to do even more. When you live in your little bubble and put these limitations on yourself, you are doing the entire world a disservice and you will absolutely feel unfulfilled and dissatisfied. That is exactly where I was at. I kept wondering why things weren’t manifesting and why certain things were taking so long. It’s because I substituted one track of repeat self-sabotage for a higher grade of repeat self-improvement—I never moved forward. I thought that once I attained a certain level of self awareness that the life I wanted would just flow. I know now there was a certain level of arrogance and ego surrounding that. We can always do more and often times we need to. I thought it felt good to garner a level of security and stop. I was raised that way and, looking back, I see that was the goal of a different generation where that was possible. Where you put in your time with a company and they took care of you. That isn’t our reality. And living like that that led me to living the same day on repeat which got boring really quickly.
To be clear, I’m not saying that the pause isn’t necessary, but there is a difference between living the same day over and over again because it feels comfortable and taking a rest because your body/mind needs it. When we are actively creating a life, we spend a lot of energy designing and executing that vision so it is wearing. That expenditure is a well earned reprieve/rest from work that serves a purpose. The compulsion to create comfort repels it because we quickly become bored in our comfort zones—there is no growth. This again means following the signs, both internal and external. They are all around us all the time. We just have to learn to read them.
The universe always puts us on the track we are meant to—there are truly no accidents. Making a huge move like this was terrifying but I know that I am meant to be making these changes. I know all the pieces are lining up how they should. Before I would have sat back and just thought I’m where I’m meant to be. Now I’m excited thinking about what is next. If that many pieces can fall into place to bring us here, then I know there are infinite more steps we can take to get us where we are going and they will all show up when we need them.
Today I am grateful for our new home. I’ve been working toward a life like this for a while and now that it is finally here, it is amazing. Seeing things come together and being able to give back is amazing. Putting together a plan—even if it doesn’t go exactly as you plan—and watching it unfold is amazing. Knowing what it took to get here and knowing that I am able to do more is amazing. I have felt my drive rekindled and my purpose—knowing what I am able to do and believing it is fuel.
Today I’m grateful for pushing my boundaries. As good as the new house feels, I’m struggling with imposter syndrome as we are working to settle into this new life. It is everything I wanted but I’m not quite there yet. I’m still learning to wear this new skin, to feel my way into the life that I’ve been trying to create—the life that is already here. It requires aligning in a way that I hadn’t tried before. I mentioned in yesterday’s post that I had been half-assing my efforts physically and I kind of feel like I was emotionally as well. I’ve been holding myself back, needing to plan every detail, going so methodically it bordered on stopping myself in my tracks. It is time to unleash and push and DO more.
Today I am grateful for family. I have always said that I wouldn’t be where I am without the support of my family. I have been trying to build this not only for myself, but for them. To repay them for all they have done. It is a wonderful feeling to be able to reciprocate.
Today I am grateful to learn the lessons about who I am so I can teach my child where we end the cycle. I’ve been emotionally weak and there is no denying it any longer. I let my emotions run the show and then I complained about the results. I felt entitled to the way I felt. Granted everyone is allowed to feel a certain way—and I am not advocating to NOT feel—but we have a say in our reaction. I constantly let myself collapse into what I was feeling. I let my brain wear me out before I could do anything about it. There is no need for it. The things we tell ourselves have a way of coming true—even if they’re not true. If we believe we are weak, then we behave weakly. If we think we can do it, we can. It’s all in what we tell ourselves. I don’t want to see my child falling apart at the seams when he is held accountable for something—that is not the world being cruel, that is just life. I am here to teach him that.
Today I am grateful to hold myself accountable. In realizing where my weakness is physically and mentally—and clearly seeing that I am capable—I know what I have to do. There is no room to let outside distraction slow me down. I’ve allowed myself to give into the comfort zone too often and that is not what I want to do. I want to push to the next level, I need to do it. No matter the stories or the lack of motivation of those around me, if I want a certain life then I need to DO what it takes. It takes sacrifice and drive and focus. That has all been rekindled in me. It is about what I can offer to make this work even better, to make this life work for me so I can use my efforts to elevate others.
Normally Sundays are about gratitude (they still are) but seeing as today is July 4th, I wanted to do a special post combining gratitude with power and the freedom that comes from that—I know it’s cheesy, but bear with me. I’ve spent most of my life people pleasing, insecure, running to catch up, morphing who I am depending on present company, stewing and brewing my own anxiety, living in fear of missing out, trying to do it all on my own, and somewhere between anger and resentment—all the time. It took me until my early 30s to admit that these were all fear responses. Every action I took was either to squelch or avoid fear and to prove my worth. When you live with that kind of fear, your life is not your own. You’re acting, putting on a show and calling it yours when really you’re just the performer giving people what you think they want—it’s a cage.
I never felt like I was allowed to break out. Quite honestly, I was raised to believe everyone lived like that. I started resenting the people I saw who lived wide open, with no fear, no questions, just doing what they wanted. I often asked myself how they were allowed to do that when I was living like a doormat. I developed some really nasty habits and took out a lot of anger on the wrong people. The ones who were actually there for me dealt with the brunt of my misplaced emotions. I started hating my life. I can’t place the exact moment, but I remember the little flame inside of me saying that it was time to start paying attention and to start putting these observations in a different context. At a minimum, I remember waking up and not wanting to hate my life anymore. I started looking around and I recognized that in spite of giving away much of my autonomy in favor of trying to be liked, I still managed to build a really nice life. I still had privilege. So I started thinking if other people were “allowed” to live according to their rules, maybe there was something I could do as well.
I started and stopped on that journey dozens of times. I tried some things that didn’t work for me. I tried things that started off well and got scared so I regressed to people pleasing. I started things without clear direction and failed. The stubbornness in me kept me moving forward. Any time I started feeling like a victim or feeling like I was meant to be a doormat, I started telling myself that I still have a say in this and that I am fortunate enough to be alive so I am able to create what I want. There were many moments I had to remind myself that not everything shows up at once and that patience is a skill. I’m still reminding myself about that one.
The key to flipping the script came in noticing patterns in others first and then looking at how I did the same thing and taking personal accountability for it. If I saw that someone pointed the finger a lot, I looked at how I did the same thing. Next I started looking at the habits I really wanted to break. Once I saw the things I was doing that kept me from the things I wanted, I started looking at what I had already done. My confidence and self-esteem always veered on the low side, so it took a lot to honor what I had already done with my life—but acknowledging those accomplishments changed the way I looked at myself. I started to get a little glimpse of what was possible.
After that I started looking at what I wanted to build—and this is where I still am. The possibilities are infinite when it comes to what we can create and I LOVE that potential. I also love the idea of creating enough to give back and to generate more flow between people. I love the idea of consciously changing the course of this world and making it a healthier, better place. I’m not 100% where I want to be yet, but I am well on my way. Today I woke up in my new house, watched the sun rise, cuddled with my animals, pulled some cards, and started working. I’m glimpsing pieces of the life I’ve been trying to create—that is freedom.
It is amazing what happens when the mind is set on growth. Chemically the brain changes and anything that isn’t aligned with what the goal is falls away; like the wolf, it’s the hunter’s mentality if we want to continue the analogy. The focus is complete and intense and singular. Our body becomes capable of doing things we didn’t think we could. We are more tolerant of the little things that may normally annoy us, because now it is a means to an end instead of the end of the world. We become different people when we let the bullshit fall away.
We’ve just spent the last week packing up our old home, closing on a new home, and moving into a new space. Even though we are only a few blocks away from our old home, this is an entirely different lifestyle for us. We have the space we’ve always talked about having for where we currently are and for anything we may need in the future. Our son has all the room he could possibly want to play and build and learn—and there are a ton of kids around his age to interact with. Our dog can run as wild as she wants to. The cats can spread out and find new nooks and crannies to play in. And we have set up a place to host and hold our family for the future if anyone needs it—parents, siblings. It is honestly more than what we could have hoped for and I don’t intend to waste the opportunity.
This move has taught me a ton about myself as we worked through this change. First, I had to learn to hustle—like really physically hustle. I had been packing up and moving things practically on my own for the previous few weeks so I thought I was moving—I was dead wrong. The actual signing on the house went incredibly smoothly. I made the mistake of commenting on it and anticipating the other shoe to drop. Drop it did. By the time we were done signing and going back to the old place to finish our clean out, we received word that we needed to be out of our place in the next hour and 45 minutes. I felt the fires of hell light up beneath me as I repeatedly ran up and down the stairs bringing down last minute stuff, cleaning out the fridge, coordinating between the old house and the new house. I thought I was going to die—but I did it. Over the next few days as we loaded and unloaded all of our crap (more on that) I pushed more than I had in years. It hurt at first but after a few days it actually felt incredible. I was lifting and moving things I didn’t think I could.
Second: following up on feeling good with movement, is accountability. I know it feels good to move, I know it’s good for my body. And it wasn’t that I was making excuses because I would always try to get some movement, but I didn’t do nearly as much as I was capable of. Through what I’ve had to do over the last few days, I see that I was half-assing what I was doing. What I previously thought was enough was no where near the capacity of what I was able to do. I really surprised myself with it and it was even more surprising how good it felt. I have been sleeping a thousand times better and I am more able to focus and I have a better recovery and ability to get back into it after.
Third: the actual integration of adaptability. We had to pivot what we were doing hundreds of times over the last few days, often on a dime. At first, I bitched about it as I tried to maintain control over the situation. I had a plan, damn it, and it was going to work! But as time went on and we had to shift, I slowly felt myself going with it. The point of moving to a new house was to allow for new experiences, not to judge them in the same way I previously did. Not to collapse myself into the victim mentality and whine about what wasn’t. We have been so fortunate with what we have that there is no room to complain about how it goes down.
Fourth: putting things in perspective. At one point we had to help my dad move some things out of his office (they are currently closing) so we could pick up a few more things for our place and my aunt was there. She made a comment about my weight that normally would have set me off. Initially I felt myself feeling hurt—I haven’t seen her in a few years and one of the first things she says to me is about my appearance. Within seconds I thought to myself that she is going through a lot of changes as well and she is struggling to let go. I have a lot of good things going on in my life so why let one comment ruin that? There is no need to make someone else’s cruel comment your truth and I wasn’t going to make that mine. Plus I know with all of the work we have done over the last few days that I am physically improving anyway.
Fifth: flexibility and when to stick with what you say. I realize that I haven’t been as good to my word as I would like when it comes to my son. I have a tendency to give in and allow him to do what he wants because he never asks for a lot—he likes to play, he has my tendency to want to complete collections, and he likes to watch some TV. It has created a bit of a spoiled child because he is used to being able to do what he wants and he is used to getting what he wants when he wants it. We haven’t been able to play as much because we’ve been moving but he met a little neighbor boy and he’s been wanting to play with him all the time. It has been great that he gets to interact with kids and at first I was limiting it because I couldn’t be there to supervise. But one of the kids made a comment that he could watch him and I realized that my kid can definitely be a bit more independent than I’ve allowed. I mean, he’s four so I’m not talking about letting him ride off with the older kids, but he is able to play outside in the yard with the other kids for a while. As we were moving boxes upon boxes of toys I realized that I haven’t made my kid do enough—I always do things for him. He threw a fit when I asked him to help and I knew in that instant that I need to do that more often. It’s my job to teach him how to function, not to do things for him. He’s going to be miserable for a bit, but that is growth, right?
The most important thing I’ve learned is that we can all do things we don’t think we can whether we are 4 or 84. It’s all about your mindset. That is THE most critical thing. How you approach the situation is more important than what the situation actually is. Sometimes we know these things logically but actually putting them into practice is entirely different. Our old mindsets creep in, often before we can even get in front of it. With determination and focus—and sometimes just sheer will—we are able to shift what the world looks like to us. We can always surprise ourselves—I know I did.
“Don’t forget, while you’re busy doubting yourself, someone else is admiring your strength,” Kristen Butler. We never consider the positive side of what people see about us. We are trained early on to be our own worst critic, seeing every flaw, learning to hide it, berating ourselves for making mistakes. We consider any imperfection a reason to stop. It must be some kind of proof that we aren’t meant to succeed if we aren’t perfect, right? As I’ve been maneuvering through the last week, working full time, raising my kid, keeping my side projects going, all while packing and cleaning in preparation for our next adventure, I’ve seen myself in a new light.
Nothing was done perfectly—but it all got done. It required HEAVY time management, learning to make demands in a different way, learning to bend in a different way, and simultaneously bearing down while loosening my grip on the controls. The bottom line was it all got done. Shifting between tasks and constantly moving forward, focusing on the goal kept me moving. And the truth is, as chaotic as it felt, I saw myself exerting a different kind of control. It wasn’t about changing behavior I didn’t like, it was about setting the precedent for what would happen in my absence. It was about being a leader, not a boss. It took a minute, but for the first time, I saw my true capacity. I recognized how badass I can be. Granted it took a ton of energy, but I saw myself executing and making decisions—and it worked.
I am so grateful I got to see myself that way because THAT is who I really am. I got to see myself outside of people pleasing and jumping through hoops to make sure I got the accolades I wanted. I saw myself making a plan, delivering it, and executing. I saw myself saying no to things I didn’t want and yes to what I did. For so many years, especially in the corporate world of healthcare, I always watched managers and above lay out this expectation that your role is 24/7 and you aren’t meant to break. As I’ve set out on my personal growth journey, I have set the precedent that we can get the job done while respecting our humanity. That our needs are just as important as those we serve. That I can take time for my family and still care about my job. It CAN all get done with clarity and level setting.
At the end of the day, what other people think isn’t what truly motivates us. It wears thin. Having a clear goal in mind and working toward it puts you in a position of power. And it’s a different power because it’s not about control-it’s about purpose. When you don’t care what you look like, there is a power in that. We may feel like we don’t have it all together, but that drive is inspiring. What mattered to me the most was actually seeing that I have the capacity to do WAY more than I thought. Seeing myself, being inspired by myself gives me the inspiration to help others. We are powerful creatures, so much more than we are allowed to believe. I welcome the age of us living up to our potential. For that, I admire everyone’s strength and hope to use mine as an example, a reminder to use yours as well.
“Live like a wolf. Wild, Free, Hungry,” via Millionaire Mentor. This is all about mindset. I’ve been given a lot in this world and my drive is different now. I no longer want to take what I’m given. I want to take that and turn it into something I can produce for someone else. I want to make it more than what I’ve done in the past. I finally understand what it means to be of service. This is the type of mindset that propels you forward because it’s about motivation to serve in a way that aligns with who you are. It’s taking the best of you and putting it out into the world. The drive is different when you want to do more as opposed to getting through the day/week/month.
It is a different type of hunger than hunger that comes from fulfilling your own needs. It’s a hunger that keeps you going and fuels ideas. You’re not looking for ways to zone out or feel better, you’re looking for solutions and opportunities where other people don’t see any. It is a way that sees beyond limitations, period. Just because it doesn’t exist, this type of hunger makes the way. “No” isn’t in its vocabulary. That type of tenacity and drive isn’t looking for the next thing to make it feel good, it’s looking for the next thing it can bring to the table and it will make the damn table if it has to.
When we see how much we are able to control the direction of our lives, the power is insatiable and it isn’t able to turn off; the drive doesn’t go away when it comes from within. We are taught to fear that power and that it’s dangerous to go after the things that really call to us. I’m learning to use that fear as an opportunity to hone my instincts. We are taught to ignore the very things that guide us in the right direction—why do you think that is? Because there is a better way, better than the systems we have in place and the systems don’t want us to know that. As we learn to trust ourselves and create a new reality, we wake up from the society induced coma we’ve created. We see that there is more to the world. That we don’t need to feed a system—we need to feed ourselves. Our drive, our purpose, our calling—that is what needs fuel.
Don’t ever fear the power that comes from within. It’s there for a reason. You wouldn’t have it if you weren’t meant to. And I believe that because I can’t see a world in which we would be given a gift we weren’t meant to use. What a waste. I feel like the first gift we need to acknowledge is our humanity. While we praise success and profit and power, there is so much more of that in our ability to stand up after we’ve fallen, after we’ve lost and try again, while we practice the skills we want to share with the world. Our resilience is a power as well. To hear the voice that says, “Don’t give up,” and we stand to try again.
So live like the wolf. Let your hunger drive you. Listen to the voice within and always believe you are powerful enough to achieve what you’re going after. Embrace your power and hone it—only you can hear what it’s trying to tell you. There is a freedom out there that we are told only a few can achieve, that it isn’t meant for all of us. That is a lie. We are meant to run wild, to form our packs, to support each other. It’s all within is.
“Show up unapologetically for all the times you hid yourself before,” via the Birds Papaya. My childhood was a combination of hiding and showing who I am. Different traumas made it difficult to form relationships with people so I learned to hide who I really was in favor of showing them what they wanted me to be. I became a performer, so much so that I lost who I really was in the process. Accolades and praise and rewards for work done became the motivation rather than forming relationships with people. I excelled academically but I failed socially and I failed to recognize that I even needed a different kind of recognition; I needed acknowledgement of the real me, not the things I did for praise.
As a whole we’ve confused the two. We think praise for a job well done replaces praise for our existence. Moreso, we think we need praise for a job well done in order to be worthy in our existence. I know I did. I always thought I needed to perform well to be accepted and allowed at the table. I needed to prove my worth to have a say in anything. If I wasn’t good at something I didn’t even try and I certainly didn’t offer an opinion on the matter.
As time has gone on, I realize that one of my gifts is an objective viewpoint. As impatient as I am and as much as I like a black and white answer, I recognize that sometimes that answer is grey—and I’m really good at finding it. I have infinite patience to hear all sides of the story and piece the puzzle together. So while I may not know everything, I’m really good at finding the middle ground for people. I’m really good at helping others take the emotion out of it and looking at their next step. Keeping myself quiet in those situations is a disservice to others. It isn’t a matter of knowing it all, it’s a matter of being able to shift perspective. So that is how I can show up.
It doesn’t matter what I look like or if I’m not an expert, I’m still able to bring insight to the table. I’m able to look at a goal and break it down into pieces that are workable and able to shift as needed. This is how I can show up for myself and for others. I get to use my voice and I get to help people work out their fears. I get to boost them up while they look for the next step—how cool is that? I will show up for that every day.
For all the times I was too shy, I will show up. For all the times I felt I was too short to be taken seriously, I will show up. For all the times I felt too ugly or unwanted, I will show up. For all the times I kept quiet because I didn’t feel like my words had value, I will show up—and speak. There is value in everything we do even if it doesn’t give us exactly what we were expecting. There is nothing wrong with the lessons I have to learn—that doesn’t change my worth. Nor does it change anyone else’s. I will show up for those lessons as well, the lessons others are allowed to learn. Just being there is enough—and just being is enough. That is how we show up.
“When it is ready, it will bloom,” Marie Forleo. Patience is not my strong suit—never has been and I get this feeling it will only marginally improve with great effort. That isn’t a disparaging remark, that’s an acknowledgement of who I am. I’ve often woke up in the morning and set my intention to be patient and allow only to find myself screaming in traffic an hour later. I tend to give up if I’m not getting results immediately. Just last night I dreamt about plants growing before my eyes in a sped up time-lapse and when I looked it up, it talked about needing to be patient. I mean, this is a common theme for me, even in my sleep.
Even though I haven’t been able to execute patience well, it is still something I work toward. I ask for it, I pray for it, I breathe for it. There was a line in “Evan Almighty” (I know, it’s silly) that asks, “If people ask for patience, do you think God gives them patience, or does he give them the opportunity to be patient?” Sometimes it’s not about being given what you want, it’s about practicing what you say you want until it becomes real.
Change is a constant—our lives aren’t meant to stay stagnant. We aren’t meant to live the way we’ve designed this system where we wake up, go to work, sit at a desk all day, go home, mindlessly watch TV, sleep, and repeat the next day. Waiting to be allowed to take time off, needing to ask permission to take care of our families, always looking for the weekend. I believe this is where patience comes in: we are constantly looking outside of ourselves for relief or for the next moment that makes us feel good. We are trained to look forward, never allowing ourselves to take in the moment mainly because the present moment often doesn’t feel good. We aren’t doing what we are meant to. And for those of us who take the leap to venture toward what we want, it can feel terrifying if the results we want aren’t showing immediately.
I’ve learned that patience is it’s own beautiful reward—that is why I still ask for it. I’m well aware of the benefits of being patient even if I’m not yet able to put it into practice consistently. But I won’t stop because I see how allowing things to bloom in their own time means they are ready and able to show you what they’re made of at their best. We need to learn to appreciate the developing. We praise people for the result and not for the work that it takes to get there, as if what we are seeing happens overnight. We ignore the effort as something dirty and beneath us, forgetting that the sweat and tears of our work are what watered the ground for us to grow.
I’ve been given opportunity after opportunity to be patient as I’ve worked toward my goals. With our forever home, we put in 13 offers on 10 properties before getting what was ultimately the perfect house for us. Each time we got a rejection it felt like the end of the world—and we were about to pull the contract on our house several times. But persevering ultimately got us what we were meant to have. I have a marketing project at work that hasn’t really taken off but it is a passion of mine—so I’ve kept going. After two years, my team finally has the opportunity to move forward with the changes in the organization. I have patience for the things that matter—I know when to persist. And every time it blooms, I am in awe.
There is a season for everything and it is very clear that as we allow things to come in their own time, they will show you what they are made of. There’s a reason why some plants flower in spring and some in the fall—they know their time. While it’s challenging to admit that not everything is for us, the things that are meant for us are just that much sweeter. Patience derived from effort is humbling and lasting. It is something to practice. If I can do it for the big things, I can learn to be patient with the every day nuances as well. Stay present and remember the effort has a purpose.
The Intentional Dreamer 