“You’re having a fight between will and skill. You have the skills, now you gotta work on the will. Nobody makes it instantly, it’s hard work. Do this for you and your life,” Loren Ridinger. I want to continue on yesterday’s topic of developing an extraordinary life. Building the life we want takes discipline. Shifting the focus is easy—we learn to step out of our comfort zone and go toward our purpose, but the dedication, commitment, and follow through are where the meat of the matter is. That is a bit trickier to do. We have to learn to commit to ourselves as we would any other “obligation” we have in our lives. We know what it is to get up, get ready, and go to work every day—we have to apply that same dedication to our dreams. Yes, it looks different and it’s going to feel uncomfortable, but putting that effort in consistently is where the results come in.
The extraordinary doesn’t happen overnight. It’s the dedication and build up of consistent actions over time. It’s the building on a foundation we create for ourselves rather than what someone else told us to believe in. When we feel something in our gut, it’s our job to go after it, to nurture it, and to develop it. We are told to ignore it and take the “Safe” route, but there is no safety in a home that someone else builds for us. What is given can be taken away. What we develop ourselves is ours. The desire is the easy part, the vision gets a bit fuzzier at times, but the work is the hard part. We don’t always know what we are doing. That’s why it’s so important to know our core, who we are, and what we are working for because those things tell us the next steps. They tell us when we are on the right path and when we need to make adjustments.
I know the trepidation and fear I felt stepping out on my own—heck, I’m still not entirely on my own. But I remember what it felt like to make the decision to try and do something for myself. I knew I hated working for other people, having other people dictate what my life looked like, needing permission to do anything with my day. Being in that position where I saw others calling the shots in their lives and wondering why I wasn’t “allowed” to do the same drove me insane. I remember trying to call the shots and being shot down and how helpless I felt waiting for permission to do what I wanted with my life. Then an opportunity came along and I didn’t trust it because I didn’t trust myself. Then I started to hear the call to do more toward that goal and then I felt my attention was too divided, like I was living two lives. THAT is where the will comes in. Fine, we make the decision, yes we acknowledge the feeling and go after it, but do we stick with it? Do we trust enough to follow through?
I will say this emphatically—even if I’m not where I want to be, I am beyond grateful to open the doors to something else. Yes, this in between is frustrating as heck and I know my will is still a work in progress. But so is my trust—I’m learning to trust myself and people all over again. Trust is a belief in our own abilities and we need to know that any time we don’t believe in ourselves, we are benefitting those who need us to build their dreams. I’m learning that not everyone is simply out for themselves and that there are other options out there than focusing on someone else’s dreams. That’s the biggest impact I’ve had and what I want to put forward in my life: that we can do things differently and that our dreams our worth it. If we have a dream and a goal then it’s ours for a reason, so learn to shut out the negativity and the nay-sayers and focus on our drive and will to dedicate ourselves to our dreams. That’s where the magic happens.