Know Your Fear

Photo by Wendelin Jacober on

Look under the bed and know your fear. This concept came from a meditation I did from Jay Shetty.  Jay discussed the idea from “Monsters Inc.” where we create an idea about our fear from things we know absolutely nothing about.  Fear is a useful tool that keeps us safe—that is its primary function.  Fear unchecked or without context creates blocks in our lives.  For example, Jay discussed how the Monsters in our beloved tale fear humans because that’s what they are taught, how they are taught to feel.  Think about a fear you carry.  Where does it come from?  I mean, I know there are brave souls who love the idea of jumping out of planes, bungee jumping, or other stunts that defy our survival instincts, but they still fear speaking to people.  How does that work?

The first step is identifying what the fear actually is and where it comes from.  Is it that we fear speaking to people or is it that we fear exposing vulnerability in speaking to people?  Is it that we fear interviewing for a new job or is it that we fear rejection from what we want?  Is it that we fear losing identity by getting healthy or is it that we fear maintaining what we start out/that we won’t fit in with the life we know?  You get the point.  Looking at the source identifies it and once that’s identified, there’s nothing stopping fixing it—or at least addressing it.  As Gabby Bernstein says, “We don’t have to fear our fear, we can use it to get closer to love.”  We can appreciate our fear for what it tries to do (protect us) and we can release our fear for what it is (a block to what we want).

The next step is learning the truth about our fear.  Once we’ve identified what it is and why we have it, we can work toward the reality instead of living in the same story over and over again—because THAT is what fear is: a story.  It’s a choice to stay in the familiar versus breaking out of our image.  We need the utmost clarity when we walk into a new life.  It doesn’t need to be anything as drastic as shedding our entire way of being, but we need that level of clarity so we know where we go.  Trust our own rhythm and what feels good in our body and soul—that is guidance.  We have permission to tell whatever story we want so trust that the callings we receive are from the universe and we are meant to answer it.

The next step as best as I can tell is to take action.  Thought is fabulous, it’s a foundation and gets us pointed in the right direction.  But thought, while it can tell us anything and create a wonderful story, it will not make the life we want without matching action.  Thought allows us to recognize the things we do for comfort and safety, the things that hold us back and hide us, as well as the things that move us forward.  We can’t repeat the same actions and expect something different.  So, the question becomes how do you want to feel?  Do you want to live a life of fear and chance regret from missing out on what you really want?  How do you want to be seen?  As one of the crowd, or as you really are?  Face your fear and make the life you want.  We have one shot, you don’t need permission to take it. 

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