I found myself in an odd situation yesterday as a friend of mine is struggling with her relationship with another person in our group. As humans, we do silly things when we are hurt or lost or unsure about a situation. We also have this need to appear a certain way and do certain things to be accepted or viewed as a specific type of person. But when we take the time to put all of that aside and really look at the light people have, things change. We see something different in them. When my friend approached me, It did come across as gossipy, but I know it was more about her disappointment at where her relationship is with this other person. Truth be told, I had been so intimidated by their friendship when I first met them that I didn’t even want to hang out. I had been left out because my son is young (their kids are in their 20’s) and they didn’t feel comfortable including me if I had to bring him and I took it personally. My priority is my kid so if that was an issue for them, then I was happy to spend time with him on my own.
I digress. The point I was trying to make about being intimidated was that their relationship seemed rock solid. If there was an issue, they would immediately go to each other and I saw how they helped each other succeed. Both have more flexibility in their jobs so when it came to their personal endeavors, they have more time to devote to that, and seeing how they supported each other’s work, their interests, and how they knew things about each other really was something to witness. It didn’t feel like anyone could break into that. I also had a lot of demons about my own goals at the time so I felt like a failure next to them for a long time. It took a lot of work to realize it was about my own insecurity. What was beautiful to witness was the power of women coming together to help each other and seeing the results they got working together.
Honestly, if it meant that I was kind of on the outside again, I would love to witness that power come together again. I would love to be on the inside of that group because that was the living example of focused energy getting results. There is something about the creative outlook we have when solving problems that brings a different perspective to the mix. There are always multiple avenues to get the result we are looking for, there are multiple ways to express what we need to, and there are multiple answers to questions—sometimes more questions come up as well. We know how to integrate those pieces and get something out of it. Give me the pieces and I will make it whole, I believe is the saying.
It also says something about the human spirit when we are taken away or separated from our whole. We long to be included, we long to have meaningful relationships, we even create relationships with people when it won’t work out. We are meant for connection. The work that goes into it and the results of focused connection are amazing. When there is intention, there is purpose, and when there is purpose, there is a way. We are able to find that way easier with others. So, this is just a reminder to keep your relationships close and tend to them. There is a lot to be said in that unity with someone, that shared focus and goal. Find the people who support you and move you forward, the people who you can move forward as well.