Approval and Time

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“Life is too short to waste time waiting for other people’s approval of how you live it,” Steve Maraboli.  We know what we need.  We are born with what we need.  We are born with the remembering of who we are supposed to be.  We know what we need to do.  But we are brainwashed into believing we can’t do those things or that it isn’t the right time/place/experience etc.  We are trained to believe that we need to fulfill some obligation to a system in order to be worthy.  The system takes precedence over our gifts.  We don’t need permission to be who we are—we are only told we do.  The more time we spend in other people’s approval is more time spend denying ourselves of joy and less time the world has to experience our gifts.  As children we innately rebel against our parents when they tell us what to do.  We know the feeling of freedom and we don’t allow ourselves to be held back.  Our fear gauge is non existent and we do it anyway.

That is the feeling I want us to remember when I talk about approval.  Is there anyone else who will pay your bills?  Is there anyone else who will buy you food?  Is there anyone else who will live the days you want to?  Provide fun/faith/fulfillment for you?  No.  The only person who can do that is you, and that is the only person who even knows what you actually want.  The longer we ignore that voice, the longer it takes to hear it again.  Some of us experience a silence of that voice when we trust other people over our own intuition and that takes even longer to hear what we are saying or even feeling.  Throw in a dash of anxiety or people pleasing (often included together) and it’s far easier to believe we need to trust the outside versus the inside.

There is one thing no one ever tells you about as a child—or it’s very rare if they do.  Regret. That feeling of wishing you had done something or that things had turned out a different way and knowing you can’t change it. The most common thing people regret when they are on their death bed are the things they didn’t do.  Right now a popular audio is going around Instagram about living a life where you’d rather say, “I can’t believe I did that instead of I wish I had done that.”  There’s only so much time we are gifted and it matters what we do with our time.  It matters that we can say we lived a life that fulfilled us, that fulfilled our purpose.  If you are lucky enough to recognize your purpose, that is the direction you must go.  If not, well, welcome and congratulations.  You are here to learn to dive into who you are and express that. It’s learning to let go of who you thought you had to be in favor of embracing and expressing who you are. 

Honestly, that’s the best advice I can give in this entire piece when it comes to understanding and undertaking this idea of living your life.  Express yourself and live your life exactly as you want to live it.  It’s yours to live.  Don’t expect those who have no stake in the game to call the shots.  Moreover, don’t allow them to.  Their goals are not yours and their decisions will not create the life you’re looking to live unless you’re in alignment with your soul group (which is a different conversation).  And as far as letting other people down, I’m learning the value in doing it every time that’s a choice.  Now, I’m not talking about leaving people in terrible predicaments and ignoring it, I’m talking about those who feel the need to express an opinion every time.  Those who live on the sidelines calling the shots thinking they’re directing the game.  No.  You just do you. The more comfortable you get with that, the easier it is to move on.  And that is the definition of living without approval.

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