Success and Responsibility

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“To be responsible keep your promises to others.  To be successful, keep your promises to yourself,” Marie Forleo.  This one sent off all kinds of bells in my head.  I wanted to piggy back it off of yesterday’s post because we are working on defining the premise of success.  It flows well because if you find what feels good for you as we spoke about yesterday, you are guaranteed to flow in that arena and you can only go up.  The goal is to fill your cup so much it fills others.  Then they do the same.  I agree there needs to be a certain level of social responsibility but I do feel it’s more important to be responsible to ourselves first because we’ve spent so many years essentially manipulating for power and energy from others that our relationships are twisted versions of what they are supposed to be—all of them.  Humans are social creatures and we need each other but we’ve learned over time to take what we need from each other rather than nurture each other.  We are trained early on to behave a certain way in certain circumstances and that distorts our vision of who we are and who others are.  We learn to play a game and wear masks.  It’s all orchestrated to fulfill the need of the system.   

I don’t want to be responsible to a system, especially one that doesn’t benefit the greater good.  I would much rather spend my time developing myself and others to bring out our greatest gifts.  When it comes to responsibility, there is a big distinction in responsibility to and for others.   I detest the premise of being responsible for others.  With the exception of children who need guidance and protection, we are not responsible for what other people say/do/think/feel.  And we are certainly not responsible for managing those emotions.  We may be responsible for putting things in context to a degree as that’s part of communication (I struggle with intentionally controversial people who stir things only to play victim).  But when it comes to being responsible TO someone, that’s different.  There are elements in a relationship of any kind that we are responsible for.  We make promises to people and we need to keep those or communicate alternate plans if things don’t work out.  We also need to be socially responsible when it comes to things like driving, economics, the environment, authentic/honest education, etc. because our actions impact everyone. 

We have an opportunity to follow what Dr. Angelou said in the quote I shared yesterday: like ourselves, like what we do and how we do it.  As I just mentioned, everything we do impacts others—we do not operate in a bubble and this is where people get confused.  They think that bubble surrounds only them or they think that the bubble will burst over everyone.  And while there is a ripple we put out in the world, it’s not so extreme as the butterfly effect may suggest, however, it is enough to watch what we do.  Imagine a world where we are sharing nothing but positive images and the best versions of ourselves (and the curated, fake images, we share don’t count).  Everyone would step up.  I think we need to shift our focus from needed attention to deciding what our gifts are.  We need to shift our focus from solely making money to figuring out how to re-value what we have and what our purpose is.  The truth is regardless of what our purpose is, our purpose is to share that.

The world needs what we have to share and we find that by following our joy, not our inherited or perceived obligations.  That means being disciplined with yourself and following through on your actions, especially the things you want to do. The things that light you up.  It means facing your demons whether they are things that scare you or things that get in your way or the things that happened to you and no longer allowing them to control you or your actions.  Most importantly, it means owning up to the responsibility to be yourself and share that with the world.  Yes, that can be scary because we aren’t meant to be everyone’s cup of tea for every person.  We have to be comfortable knowing that what we share will find the right people and help those who need it and it will encourage others to step into themselves as well.  I’m suggesting that there comes a point when you need to step out of your comfort zone and take responsibility for yourself and getting your message out.  The only responsibility we need to hold for others is the promise to be yourself and to share what we have.           

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