Anxiety and Values

Photo by Sora Shimazaki on

“Sometimes anxiety is your value system saying: ‘There are too many areas of your life where you are out of integrity.  I need you to realign with your values and take care of unfinished business,’” Xavier Dagba.  This is the case of living in two worlds epitomized.  We feel what we want and we are starting to listen to our knowing, but we haven’t let go of what we used to do because we still need it.  This is where we are truly tested because we are ready to take the leap but many of us are often scared about what happens once we do.  We don’t see the answers or the way on the new side yet.  There is a simpler way to look at this as well: we say we want something but we don’t do what it takes to get it.  We haven’t learned to live in alignment yet.  Going back to the precipice I mentioned the other day is another valid example here.  It is very true that once we take certain leaps we can’t undo it.  But the waiting and the in between causes more harm than making a choice.

Value is a personal decision.  We are taught values from the instant we are born.  We are taught what is worthy and noble and what our lives should be.  Not once do we learn to value independent thought.  We are even trained that we need guidance.  Now, there is a level of truth to it, but we don’t need to rely on the guidance of man.  We need to be taught to rely on the guidance of our connection with source.  People can absolutely be a conduit for that and share messages through their experience.  That is divine work.  But someone who comes along claiming to know all the answers is usually more of a red flag than not.  What we need is a connection with our intuition because that baby will tell you exactly what’s important to you.  It will tell you the exact direction of your compass.  What happens when your compass is trying to center?  It can’t tell the direction because it’s spinning all over the place.  Same with your values compared to action: you don’t head in any one direction because you’re torn and trying to go in a million directions at once. 

I don’t know if it’s optimism or ego or foolishness or hopefulness, but sometimes we feel we can do it all.  I know I bite off more than I can chew all the time because I KNOW I can do it.  But then I can’t.  I get overwhelmed, things come up, projects are left lying aside in a big old mess.  And then I start loathing myself.  Why didn’t I finish another project?  Why did I take it on?  Why didn’t I plan it better?  Yes, there is some truth to that—we should only take on what we can reasonably do well.  But there are some efforts of people pleasing, and there are other expectations so we ignore what we know we can handle and we end up taking it all on.  Those are your values in conflict with what you know.  It’s exhausting. 

The recommendation is to pause and take a beat to re-evaluate what you’re doing.  Take stock of all the open tasks so to speak and start asking yourself what really needs work.  What really needs to be finished and when.  That’s when you start seeing what’s important to you.  If it’s something you wouldn’t do in, or for five years, then don’t waste your time on it now.  If it takes the place of something important in your life in favor of someone else’s, it’s time to put it down.  If you won’t have the opportunity again and it’s calling to you, do it now.  And the hardest one: if it’s something that really is valuable to you and means the world to you, opens an experience you’ve been looking forward to but you have to decide if someone else will approve, go do it.  Don’t worry about letting anyone else down.  Worry about the chances you’re limiting in your life because of what you think someone else will do/say/think.  This is about your value and integrity and designing the life you want.  The more you align with that, the less anxiety you feel—and only you can determine that.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s