Today I am grateful for help. I’ve been unusually down lately with illness. The last 30 days I haven’t been myself as we’ve faced one minor illness after another. Not enough to completely stop the show but enough to make it not what it should be. I’ve been fighting it over and over again and I finally couldn’t do it on my own. I had to get to the doctor today. He confirmed I have a really nasty infection that wasn’t going to resolve on its own and I’m on two different antibiotics. I’m not healed by a long shot, but I feel better getting help.
Today I am grateful for disruption and flow. This year hasn’t gone the way I thought it would. We are almost ¾ of the way through and there are moments I feel like we fell flat, short of the mark. But in this instance, with illness at the helm for the moment, I’m seeing that sometimes we really have to allow no matter what it entails. It’s challenging, it’s scary, it’s even a little sad, and it is most certainly frustrating. But letting go allows for something else to take place. Even if it doesn’t look like what you want, it is for a reason. I’m not where I want to be but the progress is still more than where I’ve been.
Today I am grateful for progress. There needs to be a separate line marking the appreciation for where we are at. To call out the specific things that mark growth even if it isn’t perfect. We have to remind ourselves that perfection isn’t attainable but things are often perfect as they are. It’s the confusing twist of everything is exactly as it’s supposed to be so we don’t have to work hard. We can take our hands off the wheel and allow every now and then. In those moments we learn to take our hands off the wheel. That may look like asking for help or even acknowledging that something that went awry wasn’t a failure. We all have our seasons.
Today I am grateful for rest. I’ve been looking for a different kind of rest. My mind goes a lot as I’ve often shared, but I’m at an odd point because there are moments I need to physically move and I want to, but then these illnesses come in where I can’t move my body so my mind spins more. But the answers I’m looking for are in both spaces: the physical and the mental. I need to strengthen the body and the mind and there are moments of activity and recovery in both. This is a period I need to listen to my mind and stop.
Today I am grateful for another reminder of clarity. We had an experience with some people this past weekend where we were relying on some support from our friends. We were hosting an event for our business and no one showed. This is completely common, I know. A lot of places bust until they see something tangible they can believe in. But the hurt hit differently. Some of the people we wanted around us are the same we’ve supported blindly through anything. We’ve made tons of effort, some completely unnecessary to prove we’d be there and it did hurt knowing in a time of need they didn’t reciprocate. Now it isn’t that they aren’t our friends—these people have helped us a ton—but seeing where their belief is is a bit tough. So we choose to move on and find the people we can help, the people who need us, the people who see the value. It will come.
Today I am grateful for where I am. Missing the support of those closest to us put me in a different mindset. Yes, it was hurtful, but it made me realize what we have. We are super fortunate to be where we are and to have what we do—and we have worked for every little thing we have. We don’t necessarily need the praise and support of the people who don’t see beyond where we are at now. It’s fine. But I am going to remember that moment as a stepping stone. That is a launching point into where I need to be.
Wishing everyone a wonderful week ahead.