If it’s out of your hands, it deserves freedom from your mind too. There is something about the phrasing of this quote that resonated with me. There is a lot of weight on the world lately. Between an apparent loss of morality and loss of respect for each other, wars, pandemic(s), inflation, shrinkflation, people losing interest in functioning through merely existing, and recognizing a need to break and rebuild the systems we believed infallible, the world is full of events that we carry in our own way. It’s hard to distinguish between what is ours and what isn’t and what we can take action on and what needs to be left alone. It all feels too big.
I’ve spoken often about mindset and focusing on closing the gap on the things you can control. There are things in the world that simply happen—and that is one of the biggest pet peeves I have. I hate hearing how it’s just life. I’m the type of person who has forced myself to be so uncomfortable making others comfortable that I know first had the level of control we can have over ourselves. Just to be clear, I’m NOT advocating for people pleasing on any level let alone at the cost of sense of self, I am merely making the point that we have a remarkable level of self-control when we want to. In spite of all that, there is a point where we have to let go of things we can’t control because it IS life.
That is the difference: there are natural elements that we can’t control. Natural disasters, weather, temperature and the like. We ARE able to control our reactions and behaviors and we are able to develop our self-awareness so we understand how our actions impact others. The twist to this is we aren’t able to control how other people behave either—one great universal conundrum. Maybe that is a thought I need to release. Maybe I will one day, but in an effort to help people along, sometimes we have to look at the behavior and determine how we are going to react to it.
We have to decide if we are going to tolerate it. We have to decide if we are going to move forward carrying things that don’t belong to us and that we have no say in changing. We do have a choice. As a professional “chewer” I know all too well the feeling of taking on things that aren’t mine and never letting them go. The mental hoarding is exhausting and it only takes up valuable real estate in your mind. Weigh the pros and cons of keeping something in your head for too long before you decide to indoctrinate it into who you are. Once it becomes a part of you, it’s harder to let go. It also does more damage to us than the other person because they are free of it while we repeat and bear the burden in our minds. I know the pain of letting it go but I also know the pain of looking back and realizing that I’ve held on too long. Let go, give yourself space back, and move forward.