Today I am grateful for my body.  I’ve thanked my body many times before but I have to come at this from a different angle.  I really thought about it, all of the things I’ve put my body through, all of the things I’ve tried to do, all of the illness it has been through, birth, falls, some truly devastating hits.  And it’s still going!  It still wants more.  It still functions and moves and wants to go for it all.  I’m still breathing, my heart is beating, I still have ideas flowing.  This precious vessel is more than just something that we sit around in all day—it is a master machine that knows what it needs and informs us, it self-regulates on all levels from daily function to elimination and healing, it grows and knows what cells are optimal and which are dangerous.  It is an unbelievable thing to be alive.  I am grateful.

Today I am grateful for honesty.  Sometimes it takes radical honesty to get to the bottom of a situation.  That means knowing when we need help and asking for it, knowing when we can push ourselves more, knowing when we need to stop, knowing where we are going, and knowing what we are capable of.  As we are all raised in a limiting society, that type of honesty is frowned upon.  It’s equated with too much or stepping out of line.  But that honesty is key because it is the voice of the universe telling us what we are meant to do and how to get there.  Along with that self-regulating body I mentioned above, we are tuned into something far greater than ourselves and we are meant to tap into that to use every ounce of our gifts.

Today I am grateful for honesty.  Yes, honesty gets another section today.  I’ve been with my husband for 22 years this year and he is often a fairly emotionally reserved person.  He doesn’t let too much get to him and he is confident in his decisions.  In that regard, I often feel overlooked because he sometimes forgets that his decisions have impact on all of us and I get frustrated.  I was essentially acting out the other day because I was overwhelmed and I took it out on him in a non-productive way.  No yelling or fighting, just me pushing a point too far.  He snapped a bit (totally reasonable under the circumstances) and finally told me that behavior frustrates him.  I pride myself on owning when I’m wrong, and I could tell he was nervous about what my reaction would be—like anticipating gearing up for a fight for telling me how he felt.  I felt bad for creating that environment where he felt like he couldn’t approach me.  To be fair, I’m a reactive person even about good things, but I can see where that gets to be too much.  Regardless, I was so grateful that he was honest with me that I thanked him and apologized immediately and corrected what I had said to what I actually meant.  Communication goes both ways and I can’t improve if you don’t tell me what’s up.  That’s working together.

Today I am grateful for answers.  I’ve been struggling with mental health for a long time and it has prevented me from living my life to the fullest because I didn’t feel like I had support or even a physician who would listen to me.  I’ve also had issues with regulating my energy, my food, and simply haven’t felt like myself.  I met with another physician in the group and after two years I finally am on the right path.  She listened and was willing to try something else for me, she calmed me down, she heard me.  One day trying what she suggested made a difference—one day, after two years of struggle.  We found answers to why I’d ben feeling those issues with energy and everything else, and coupled with different strategies, it is entirely manageable, if not fixable.  It is truly a life changing thing to be heard.   

Today I am grateful for dedication.  Following up on answers, I am grateful that my commitment to myself has proven to pay off.  The visit I mentioned above also showed improvement in other specific areas I’ve been working on for my health.  The work pays off with time.  It is also a testament that we can do anything as long as we focus and make the effort toward progress.  It’s encouraging because it means that I have the will power to do what needs to be done and it works in the end.   As I mentioned above, the issues we discovered are manageable, if not fixable, so the dedication I had in my other key areas paid off, it will work for this as well.  I feel capable of anything.

Today I am grateful for love.  For such a small word, it has such impact. We throw it around loosely thinking it means something, but we rarely understand the energy of love.  It’s hard for me to describe it, even now.  Holding ourselves in this love state feels a bit like floating but it’s more than a euphoria: it’s a state of trust. It has taken a long time for me to learn to love and trust myself.  Truth be told, I’m still working on loving myself but I understand that loving myself means leaning more into trusting myself.  Even if it’s a work in progress, I am grateful for so many examples of love in my life.  I’m grateful to feel love in so many different ways.  It’s amazing how the same word can be applied to such an array of emotions and feelings toward people and things.  I’m blessed to fully know that love is a real thing and that it is all around us at any time.  I’m grateful to feel it and to witness it.  I’m grateful to allow more of it into my life and I’m grateful to have the confidence to share more of it in my life.  It’s a beautiful thing.  It’s energizing and freeing and liberating to simply be in a state of love.  I’m grateful to experience that.

Wishing everyone a wonderful week ahead.