During meditation the other day, the narrator talked about building trust in ourselves and who we are. He said, “Identify the smallest step you can take to get moving. Just do one.” Over the last few days we have discussed taking steps to align with our true selves and be seen as we really are. We talked about worth, communication, authenticity, alignment, integrity, and intentional action. Most of us live our lives on repeat because we are familiar with the routine. Becoming someone else requires doing something else and that’s where we get stuck. We aren’t familiar with how this new version of us would act or what they would choose or say in a situation. In order to learn those things, we have to take the first step. Not the whole staircase, but one step at a time. This is when we talk about the smallest thing you can do to get moving.
Through therapy, I’ve begun to recognize the deep fears that I have. Loss, wasted time, losing success, not being able to maintain success, and not being heard. I love creativity, my writing, singing, cooking, working out, playing with my son, enjoying time with friends, learning new ways of being. But what am I doing? I overcommit to things that don’t interest me. I don’t spend enough time working on what I love. I allow myself to be distracted by things that don’t really matter. I worry about how people will view me. I worry that I won’t appear responsible. I worry that people don’t see me as capable or as an authority in what I say. I don’t start, I plan and plan until it’s too late.
So this week, in the spirit of being aligned and learning to trust our highest selves, in the spirit of connecting with that self-worth, in the spirt of authenticity and honoring self-worth, I have found the first smallest step I can take: using my time as I see fit. As it happens, my son had a weird schedule on Monday and I wouldn’t be able to get him where he needs to be on time, so I took the day off. I didn’t offer to work from home, I used a day of the plentiful time I have available and said I will not be available to my 9-5. I don’t need permission to live the life I want to. I just need to do it. I have big plans for that day, things aligned with what I want to do, the bigger picture. No, I know my world won’t be drastically different in one day, but it WILL lay the foundation of what I need to do. I’m pretty sure it will clarify the next steps.
Sometimes we spend too much time giving away our energy, hoping it will come back or that someone will reciprocate. Whether it’s at work or with friends, hoping for a promotion or that we get some time together to do something fun, our lives are often at the mercy of other people’s actions. It doesn’t have to be that way. Sometimes we just need to remember what we have and reclaim what is ours. In my case, I have a lot of time off available that I haven’t been able to use, so I’m taking a day of it. End of story. I could choose to sit on the couch all day and do nothing, or I can focus my energy and take a stab at the life I want. Try it on for a day and get a little taste of what I’ve said I want to do all along. I don’t want to waste any more time hoping success will find me, it’s time to create success.
Tabitha Brown calls that our freedom walk. The honoring of who we really are. Once we know who we really are, nothing can stop us. There is nothing that can stop the light from shining on our true identity once we experience it. Things will continue to feel out of alignment or simply feel wrong. Follow our truth and that allows us to stand in our integrity. Success comes when our passion meets our skill and we share that gift. The more we practice what we preach, the more we do what we say, the more we keep our contract to ourselves, the easier it is to see the next step. For me, it’s a day off. Tomorrow, who knows.