Sunday Gratitude

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Today I am grateful for change.  I am blessed.  Truly, I feel the gift of all the blessings in my life.  But as I’ve gotten older and continually asked/begged/pleaded for more, I see the facets of myself that needed (and still need) to change.  I was raised that we were given things as a reward or not given things as a punishment.  I was never taught to align with what I wanted and how to create it.  Ironic considering I come from a family of entrepreneurs.  Regardless, I am grateful to learn about the power of cocreation and the ability to change.  If we always do what we’ve always done, we will always get what we always got.  So move forward.  Do something different.  Build something different.  Dive in and live my wildest dreams.  We can’t control everything in our lives, but we can learn to align with what is for us.  I am grateful for the reminder life isn’t static.

Today I am grateful for faith.  This has been a tricky one for me over the years.  I’ve dallied, dipped, and danced around faith my whole life.  I spent much of my youth repeating what was told to me, not understanding the implication.  I rarely saw action and word match in regards to faith from the adults around me and I lost some of the best examples of faith early on in my life.  I’m seeing now the importance of bringing faith back.  Of living in a way that matches the trust  when we say everything happens for a reason.  I still find myself hesitant at this juncture.  Some of the things I know I need to do require the biggest leaps I’ve made yet and I’m scared.  I know that things happen in divine timing and that the life I’m seeking is waiting for me to make the move—it’s there.  I’m grateful to know I can make a new decision and the rest opens up.

Today I am grateful for imagination.  I lost touch with my childhood while I was still a child.  The reality is it wasn’t anyone’s fault, it was just the path I was born on.  My siblings were significantly older than me and I wanted to be part of their lives, to prove I was one of the crowd so I gave up “childish” things long before I should have.  Long before I understood how to do things to figure out what I liked.  Having a child has brought up some demons in regards to play and allowing myself to have fun.  I find myself controlling the outcome or not allowing play as I should, trying to teach a six year old the “point” of play.  In those moments I am (slowly) learning to completely let go and see the value of play.  There is no point in terms of winning or losing, it’s a matter of learning what feels good and simply going with it, finding joy in having fun.  Bringing back creativity and joy—imagining something new.

Today I am grateful for new experiences.  At the very beginning of this month, my husband and I had spoken about what we wanted in this year.  We didn’t set resolutions but we talked about things we wanted to change in order to bring ourselves forward.  We spoke about a year of experiences.  We are blessed and secure with things, a home, food, water, clothes, entertainment. We have a beautiful son and loving animals.  But we find ourselves bored and seeing things to fill that hole.  So we agreed that this year we aren’t going to buy as many things, we are going to create opportunities and experiences with each other, our family, and with people.  So far we’ve spent the holidays with friends and family, we’ve had multiple game nights with friends (and our first solo game night!), we’ve hosted people just for giggles, we’ve tried new restaurants, we’ve broken our routines around shopping and money, and we’ve begun planning trips and time off.  I am grateful for the opportunities this opens for us.  Life feels more open, more free.  I welcome what comes with it. 

Today I am grateful for power.  I thought I was seeking happiness (I am) when the reality is the path back to happiness is in ownership and responsibility for our life.  It’s in using our power for good and fulfilling our purpose.  I thought the word “power” meant exerting power OVER people and being in control of all things at all times.  I thought the universe was a constant test, like it wanted us to make the “right” decisions all the time and would reward us accordingly.  I was never taught the value in simply living, engaging, and having fun.  I was never taught that using our own power can make things easier and better for others.  Like, filling our own cup makes it flow over for other people.  It isn’t about control in the slightest.  It’s about accessing a source, THE source we have connection with, and using the gifts we have.  THAT is power.  That is where happiness lies.

Today I am grateful to listen.  I LOVE words.  I love thoughts and sharing thoughts and sharing ideas and stories.  I love creation, specifically creating with words.  But sometimes the storm of words in my mind gets to be so much that they fall out of my mouth when they shouldn’t.  Or they fall out in ways that don’t make sense to others.  I’ve been asking for ways to create the life I want, and today I am listening.  It’s more imperative now than ever before to hear what others need to say, and to hear what is REALLY being said to me.  Not all words that race through my mind demand my attention.  Sometimes I need to hear what is actually being presented to me.  THAT is what requires action.  I’ve always listened to others but I’ve rarely felt heard—and that’s also why I use words a lot—I try to create understanding.  But again, the messages for the path I want, the life I choose to create is in hearing the next steps, the signs.  So I am learning to listen.  To really hear those around me and the universe.  Same skill, better applied. 

Wishing everyone a wonderful week ahead!

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