Today I am grateful to be able to create magic in my son’s life. It isn’t easy in this economy, this day and age (maybe ever), to be a parent. I had this vision of what it meant to create the magic for children, that we were supposed to give them everything. I spent a lot of time buying my son’s love so to speak. I’ve gotten much better about connecting, but when he was super little, those formative years where you really need your parents, I couldn’t physically be as present as I wanted with my baby. I worked a lot, I worked far, and I was always under pressure to be on time. I know people say kids don’t remember, but my son became exceptionally clingy whenever I wasn’t around. To this day he still tells me he needs me all the time. So I try to show him that I care, that I’m always there, that I hear him. With Christmas coming up, I know I went overboard—to be fair it’s for Christmas and his birthday. He mentioned things he wanted and I want him to know that for every “No” I gave him, I still heard him. I could be mad about what I spent, or fearful, but I’m choosing to be grateful. You’re only little once, and that time goes so fast.
Today I am grateful to connect with my husband. We’ve been working through a lot since October, trying to come to a better understanding with each other, a better understanding of each other. I know for a long time I took for granted what he needed because I was so angry about the past. Things that had been done still burned hot and I felt owed because what was done never really was acknowledged. It was something that angered and embarrassed my husband so he preferred to ignore it, I needed to understand it to know if it would happen again. We never saw eye to eye on how to resolve it and it resulted in me demanding things and my husband got resentful over time. I understood THAT. Yesterday I was able to leave work really early and meet up with him and we had lunch, just the two of us, and we finished shopping for Christmas. Those few hours together really make a difference, and we really took our time with each other, talked things over (even though it was just about Christmas). It was needed.
Today I am grateful for continual guidance. I am so fortunate to be learning about my faith and my connection to spirit/the universe. I’m not talking religion—I’m talking about that assurance that comes from hearing the messages for us. I feel blessed to take the leap of faith and do things for others that makes them feel good. I feel blessed to take the leap of faith and do things that make me feel good, too. Life is about taking chances and experiencing things. It’s not about perfection.
Today I am grateful to keep the big picture in mind. Everything that is happening now from the purchases to the preparation to the gatherings we do or do not attend is all a matter of choice. I’m choosing what this season looks like for me and I’m choosing what the season looks like moving forward. I’m grateful for turning a leaf and for the reminders that this is the right thing to do. You don’t get to new places or experience a new mind set by repeating old patterns. There is a future beyond what is visible or tangible right now. There is the future that comes when we take the leap and sometimes that means completely letting go, being present, and enjoying what we have. Attitude attracts experiences and that is key moving forward.
Today I am grateful to have a plan. No, I don’t know all the details, I don’t even know the next step. But I have a feeling of what comes next and I can see what the future vision looks like. Honestly, that’s enough of a plan for me because what comes next is about learning what I feel inside and how to allow this transformation to take hold. This is about me moving in the direction of my dreams and the more I do, the clearer it becomes. Some would say this isn’t a plan—for me it’s the most concrete thing I can do. Stay true to myself, to my purpose, allow the rest to fall away, and enjoy what is in front of me. I spent too much time worrying about the future to the point of trying to figure out every person’s next move. That was a waste of time and energy. Now I am content to put out what I am meant to and to follow my own flow.
Wishing everyone a wonderful week ahead!