Finding Support

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I want to use the events of the past few days to acknowledge all of the people who showed up for me the past week. Sometimes life throws you a curve ball and it rocks the foundation of what you thought was very solid.  It leads you to have to examine parts of yourself you didn’t think you would need to.  Suddenly the parts you thought you made peace with and things you thought were acceptable, aren’t.  And at the most basic level, like in all of the pieces I’ve written here, people change.  We have to realize that as we recognize what doesn’t work for us any longer, there are things that will no longer work for the other person/other people either.  No one tells you about that flip side.  No one mentions that other people can outgrow you too.  Other people on their journey start having the same questions you do.  Now, I know this logically.  That doesn’t mean it isn’t a shock when you think you KNOW someone and they hit you with something.  It feels out of left field and it’s very isolating.  The cool thing about that part, however, is there are still those who love you as you are—all of you. 

We all have moments when we aren’t sure who will show up when we need them. We feel alone, we feel like we can’t reach out because people see us a certain way, we feel like we have to do it on our own.  Many of us people-pleasers do so much for so many that we never form a solid relationship because it’s all based on surface acknowledgement of doing something good.  Regardless, there are still those who surprise us, and even if we feel unappreciated about who we are, there are those who support us.  Just as I was feeling incredibly low around my circumstances and about myself and my identity, people showed up.  Every person I reached out to responded to me and showed up. People I didn’t reach out to intuitively knew something was up and they responded as well.  My friends, that is a BLESSING.  As challenging as what I’m going through is, knowing these people are actually there, understand, and have insight is a gift.  It’s an odd thing to be on the other side of the table receiving the advice.  Sometimes you don’t know you need it until you get it.  And boy, do I need it. 

When anything foundational changes in our lives, it feels like the world is turned upside down.  Finding center becomes really challenging.  It feels like the universe is against you and like the people around you aren’t the same.  And when people are in the process of undergoing their own change, you need to find out if that works with who you are.  You have to ask yourself where that comes from and figure out if it’s legitimate and if you want to continue on like that.  You have to let people be who they are and you have to figure out where you fit in with that new version—is it for you?  And honestly, the more important part is finding those who take you as you are.  That means doing what I’ve said all along: the work to be incredibly certain about who you are.  Sure, there are moments we all need to bend, but we can’t let others break us for their benefit.  There are times we may need other people to hold us together for a little big.  Show gratitude to those who are there, no questions asked, for those who hold space for you, and for those who understand. Learn from them.  Remember your worth.  Like I said, there are people who still love you as you are—make sure you’re one of them.

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