Experience The Feeling

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I want to share an experience of a feeling I had after the conference.  It felt like the light was on within me rather than like I was flying toward something, like a moth to flame.  It felt like I was my own source.  There was no external driver, no, this was something different.  This was an actual understanding and an adoption of the belief that another life was possible and that I could do it.  This was the feeling that I belonged and that I knew exactly what to do.  I became the driver of my own life.  I’m talking about something similar to the piece I wrote a month or so back about knowing what you want and the rest falling away.  It’s a letting go of the outside distractions of the world and recognizing what an excuse actually is.  Full transparency, I never understood the excuses I was making.  I thought they were all valid and logical reasons to not do what I wanted to.  I thought I was doing the right thing and playing it safe.

The truth is, when we play it safe, we are cutting out a huge chunk of opportunity and possibility.  No, not all risks pan out.  But if we take what we learn and apply it to the next go around, we have the chance to be who we want to be.  We keep going.  We apply what we’ve learned and do better.  See, when I talk about that light coming from inside, I mean that I’ve shifted the direction of motivation.  I’m no longer searching for a thing to make me happy.  I’m searching for what I can produce to create the life I want to live in a way that fulfills my happiness.  I’m looking to produce the results I need instead of manipulating others to do it for me. 

We all have different reasons in our lives for the things we do.  Different drivers, different motivation.  We are the only ones who can fulfill that for ourselves.  I spent a lot of years feeling something within me, a spark I couldn’t quite place.  Then I had someone reach out to be who understood exactly what I was trying to express.  This person pushed me beyond any comfort zone I ever had.  Now I see comfort as a drug.  Yes, I still take a hit every now and then because I’m human and I’m trying to break some habits.  But I know what I’m capable of and that isn’t a power source I want to sit on any longer.  See, comfort, money, stability are all nice things in theory.  But when you connect with your power and know what you can do, you won’t want to waste another moment waiting to express it.

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