Today I am grateful for healing. On so many levels, I’ve been doing the healing work. I’ve been sick and I’ve been trying to break out of my patterns. I’ve been addressing the generational things that are not mine to carry and I’ve been working on the inner child work to make sure I don’t continue to pass on negative things to my son. I’ve been working on accepting myself so I can create the life I want. This has been a week of unexpected things and some scary moments, but they are all on course to bring me where I need to be. I am grateful for the experience to allow letting go of what I no longer need to carry in my life. To step into who I am.
Today I am grateful for confidence. This isn’t something I’ve carried often, felt often, or experienced often but it is something I appreciate. There is a difference between the fake-it-til-you-make-it mentality and the actual knowledge of something. There is always a time to learn, but there is most certainly a different feeling approaching a subject you’re versed in. Confidence is about more than that, however. It’s also about knowing who we are. It’s knowing purpose and drive and having faith to believe all is exactly as it’s meant to be. For the first time in a while, I feel ok with not knowing. No, I’m not totally good with it, but I am good with the feeling that this is the right path. I’m good knowing the next steps are coming and will reveal themselves. I’m good leaning on faith for a bit.
Today I am grateful for patience. In this world we are given endless opportunities to be the people we want to be. If we want to be loving, we are given the opportunity to practice love. If we want to learn something, we are given the opportunity to find the answer. If we want to know if we are capable of doing something, we are given the opportunity to try. If we want to be patient, we are given opportunities to practice and express patience. We’ve been in a bit of a pickle this past week and my son is starting to struggle with it. I’ve promised myself repeatedly that I will be calm and listen and recognize what is underneath the outburst, the whining, the pushing, whatever it may be. Today I took the time to listen to him. It’s quite simple: he isn’t feeling well and doesn’t know how to handle it. Had I screamed at him or ignored him, I never would have heard him. He just needs some comfort.
Today I am grateful for nutrition. This entire experience of being ill has shown me (again) how important it is to take care of ourselves. One of the key things we have to do in this world is make sure we are taking in proper fuel and nutrients for our body. I am so grateful to be able to make healthy choices. As difficult as it is, the change is completely worth it in order to keep my body and mind healthy and strong. I think about what this illness may have felt like if I weren’t striving as hard as I was to fuel my body properly and I am so grateful that I have been able to take care of myself in small ways.
Today I am grateful for love. It can be a challenging thing dealing with family no matter the size but I sometimes wonder if it is harder with a smaller family because all you have is the immediate group. We rely on each other for the same things over and over again and it can be a lot of pressure keeping each other sane…more like keeping ourselves sane in the process. But at the core of it all, I know we love each other immensely. There is no other group of people I’d rather be with. I am so grateful to have my little family and to be able to spend time with them in love and healing.
Today I am grateful for pending adventure. We have a trip coming up this week for our business and, as long as we are cleared, we will be going. I’ve been really hesitant to go because we haven’t travelled in years and we’ve never travelled with our son. It has been a long time since I’ve had to leave my animals and my home and this is also a really scary trip. This is something so out of character for me and it’s putting the business at the forefront. This is an opportunity on many levels and I know if I miss it, I will regret it, yet I still feel myself holding back. But it’s a fine line between nervous and excited—nearly physiologically identical for that matter. So I can reframe and enjoy the upcoming experience and appreciate it for the learning experience it will be.
Wishing everyone a wonderful week ahead.