A Makeover

Photo by Marcelo Moreira on Pexels.com

My son loves watching the cartoon “Loud House.”  I actually really enjoy it too, it’s adorable.  We recently came across an episode where one of the children is given a makeover because she likes a boy.  This character is normally goth and lives and relishes all things dark and death related (like hanging out in cemeteries).  The sisters make her over into what they consider more acceptable—changing her hair color and her clothes. Their brother doesn’t even recognize her when she comes running out of her room.  The older siblings tell him that was the new and improved Lucy and he asks, “That’s how you’re helping Lucy?”

Yes, this is a cliché story about self-acceptance, but that doesn’t make it less true or less important.  The point I really want to discuss were the other siblings’ desire to give their sister a makeover.  Why was it so important to them that their sister look a certain way, that she behave differently than she did?  Why did her appearance matter to them that much?  Now, I don’t discount there is a natural urge to help people fit in, especially those we care about.  However, why do we feel we know what is best for other people?  Not to say that guidance and advice aren’t helpful—sometimes we need someone to show us the way.  But I know many people (and I’m guilty of it myself) who spend their time telling others exactly who they should be.  The only problem is that is who they THINK that other person should be.

As hard as it is, we need to accept that sometimes our words aren’t necessary and neither are our actions.  We may have opinions on what we think someone should look like or what they should do, but if that isn’t who that person is then we can’t do anything about it.  Self-acceptance is the most important thing because, when you love yourself and accept everything about who you are, you aren’t so easily swayed to become someone else when people push you.  But what is also important is accepting others and nurturing who they are.  We all have to experience life to grow and that looks different for everyone.

Yes, I know this is repetitive and even common sense, but it’s a lesson we can all use every now and then.  It’s also important to note that when we fully accept ourselves we are less inclined to want to change others. It’s easier to accept others and nurture their potential when we find value in our own.  Acceptance creates alignment, which creates opportunities, which creates acceptance for others to do the same.  Suddenly growth is fostered all around and we can look at life a bit differently.  We don’t need to look at other people to make us happy.  If we aren’t happy with who we are then no one will make us happy—it doesn’t work like that.  We never need to change who we are because that identity is a gift.  It’s up to us to use it to create space for ourselves and others.  We don’t need external validation or to make people fit our story—we just need to be who we are.

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