Today I am grateful for having another holiday with my family safely. We haven’t been together in nearly two years so to get together and laugh and eat and play like we used to felt amazing. Seeing everyone smile again and take the time to enjoy being together felt amazing. We didn’t get to celebrate at Thanksgiving so it felt especially important to take the time to get together. Simply being present and being together was more than enough. Helping each other set up the house and razzing each other felt like no time had passed. And I know in the grand scheme of things, two years isn’t that much and starting different traditions isn’t bad, but when you are acutely aware of how precious time is, it feels like so much more is lost. I am happy we didn’t waste any more time.
Today I am grateful for the time I need to get well emotionally, physically, and mentally. I was honestly concerned that I wouldn’t be able to have the holiday because I felt a bit under the weather starting on Thursday. I went as slow as I could and I got a lot of rest. I listened to what my body needed and it worked. I honestly felt so much better on Saturday. I’m looking forward to the time off I have this next week to really recuperate and feel my way back to myself. I have been working up to this for a while and my mind and body are telling me exactly what I need. My brain has felt like I’ve been trying to shift gears and keep missing the clutch so it just grinds and grinds. Now I’m taking the time to find the right gear for me.
Today I am grateful for safety. I woke up this morning knowing that I was safe. On the surface, I know I’ve created a good life for myself and my family—I am truly blessed. In spite of that, I have been living waiting for the other shoe to drop for a long time. I’m always waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under me so to speak. We’ve been in our home for 6 months now and I’ve been waiting for things to just fall apart—and I don’t know why. Maybe it’s the fatalistic attitude I was trained with or maybe it’s just lacking trust in those around me or even in myself. But today, after working with my family yesterday, after taking the time to listen to my body and seeing the results, I truly felt supported for the first time in a long time. I felt truly safe.
Today I am grateful for trust. Along with safety, I am grateful for the reminder that it is ok to trust. I often feel it’s necessary to carry the weight of the world because I want to make sure people know I’m doing my part. It’s a generational trauma thing where we don’t ever feel like we are doing enough. Plus it’s a self-confidence thing where I don’t want people to feel like I haven’t earned my place. Regardless, I got really vulnerable with my husband and I feel it was reciprocated. It is the first time in a long time I allowed myself to believe something positive about myself that came from another person. I mean, I don’t believe we need a ton of external validation, but I do believe that we need something from those we love. It’s reciprocity. I am grateful my words were received today.
Today I am grateful for rhythm. Specifically my rhythm. There is something about knowing your step and your place in where you want to be that is so soothing and comforting. It’s a true recognition of the soul. It’s a true recognition of who we are and that is the greatest form of love we can show ourselves. All of the things I would normally stress about doing feel somewhat further away today. I know there are still things that need to be done, but the reality is there just isn’t a need to worry about them. It’s such a waste of time. Being present is what I need more than anything. It’s like what I was talking about earlier with feeling safe. I can trust it will all get done. I don’t need to rush through anything. It will all get done.
Today I am grateful for reminders and synchronicity. The universe constantly sends us messages until we understand what it’s trying to tell us. I mentioned above about the grinding of gears and the knowing that I need a break. The body/mind connection is so real and if our mind wants to ignore what our body tells us then it will eventually find a way to break through. So will the universe. I believe in the messages of animals and I have been thinking about one in particular (a piece is coming on that) and it showed up for me today. The message coincides perfectly with the burnout I’ve been feeling…so thank you universe, for the reminder!
Wishing you all a wonderful week ahead