Just a quick note on talent.  I’ve been afraid of time forever.  Yes I’ve talked about this before but I don’t know if I’ve ever described the depth of my fear.  From the time I was in kindergarten, I’ve been afraid of losing my parents.  I could never articulate what the exact fear was, but I didn’t want them to die.  I experienced a lot of loss and I immediately felt behind the ball coming into this world.  My entire family was a unit for nearly a decade on their own before I came into the picture.  That’s a lot of lost time.  I felt like time was slipping away from me from an early age and I had so much less time with my family than the rest of the group did.  I only got 11 years with my grandfather.  My siblings had closer to 20.  I felt like I needed to be where they were, to meet them at their level and I developed the habit of jumping ahead early on.  Meaning I wanted to skip over the part where I learned my lessons and lived my life, I just wanted to be included in theirs.  I thought I needed to make a name for myself super early so I could prove I was just as worthy as they were.  AS time went on and nothing happened, as I lost break after break, as opportunities seemed to fall through my fingers even if they were perfect for me, the sand in the hour glass feeling became more and more intense. 

I saw a video from Belinda Carlisle the other day and she still sounds amazing as ever.  In spite of individual and collective fame nearly four decades old, she’s still amazing.  And it hit me that talent never goes away.  While I can’t change the time I missed in my family or the fact that I got less of it, I don’t have to hold onto the fear that my talent has an expiration date, or that I will never make it.  I just need to get clearer on what “making it” is and what I want to do to get there.  Time does a lot of things.  It removes people, it ripens our experience, it connects us as much as it divides us, it shows us new things and reminds us of where we came from. It shows us an appreciation for life and the value of time spent well, spent together.  WE have no control over time, each second passes away without our consent.  We do have control over how we spend our time and it’s never too late to find who we are and to share that gift with the world.  The world needs our light, no matter when we let it out.  And when we arrive at that moment, that’s exactly when it was meant to happen.