Failure

Photo by Fiona Art on Pexels.com

“When you realize no one cares about your failure, your fear goes away,” Gary Vaynerchuk.  The truth is people are so obsessed with where they are and their own actions that they really aren’t focused on what you’re doing.  It frees the mind to know that you aren’t performing for anyone.  Yes, failures can sting, but there are so many lessons in it.  It makes the victory that much sweeter when we get it.  It makes all the effort worth it.  Better yet, understanding that no one is watching you because they are more focused on their own stuff is incredibly freeing.  Suddenly those opportunities don’t seem so scary.  The pressure lifts.  We find things we are capable of and we learn new ways to do things we didn’t think were there.  

We put an enormous amount of pressure on ourselves to be a certain way because we created these standards for what people should do and who they should be in any situation.  We all have different definitions of right and wrong and the truth is, even those definitions get skewed when we are put in different scenarios.  I mean, we’ve all broken our personal rules at times for one reason or another and I’m pretty certain we would defend ourselves to the death if we were physically threatened even though we think killing is wrong.  Yes, the latter point is dramatic, I apologize, but the point stands nonetheless.  We create these rules of engagement with life, its people, its animals, the Earth because we decided we needed to control it.  We fell out of the natural rhythm because we wanted to be perceived a certain way—as powerful.  We think we are manipulating a perspective when we will never know the truth.

It’s funny how often we let what we think others think dictate our actions.  I’ll say it again.  What we THINK others think dictates our actions.  It’s crazy.  We have no way at this time to get into people’s minds and hear what they are thinking.  We will never know.  Anything we tell ourselves about what they have going on in their minds is simply a story we tell ourselves.  It’s all made up.  Yes, for those of us who are slightly more intuitive, we may be closer to “knowing” what someone else is thinking or feeling but we will never have the full context because we are not that person.  We do not get a play by play of what thoughts run through someone else’s mind.

The safest thing to do is to simply be authentic.  Lay all the cards on the table.  Yes, I can absolutely guarantee you will get hurt.  People will judge, people will misunderstand, you will feel raw and exposed and alone.  I still say do it anyway.  You will never have to question anything about who stays with you when you know with absolute certainty who you are.  The people who stay are undoubtedly for you, and you for them.  It’s also imperative to see reality for what it is.  The more comfortable we get with truth as beautiful and reality as truth instead of a staged production, the easier it is to let go of the idea of failure as wrong.  It’s easier to let go of the idea of failure as failure.  The biggest thing to know in this day and age is that, even if people are watching, they will still interpret what you do in their context.  It doesn’t matter.  Do it anyway.    

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