What We Do With Time…

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Time came up through several media items today.  Time has always bugged me.  The concept of each second passing and never getting it back unnerves me to the core.  I mean, there is simply so much to do in this world that every second suddenly seems vital to make the right decision about what we should be doing, everything is significant.  That gets really overwhelming.  Being in the medical field, I see things every day.  I see families struggling to pay bills, I see the confusion on aging people’s faces as they navigate their care, I see young people with diagnoses that can’t be explained, I see people who used to have support suddenly alone and afraid.  And it all got me thinking how absolutely precious life is. 

Things change so quickly, sometimes unexplainably, and everything we thought we knew is gone.  We think we have it figured out only to find out we don’t or we wake up and see the years behind us, the bullshit we bought into only to see it’s a waste of that time.  I say choose again.  Christopher Lloyd recently did a promo for a movie and he mentioned that he’s 83 years old now.  He said, “The years seem like minutes yet I do not dwell in memories because life is about moving forward.  Not just about into the future, into the unknown…we can’t go back.”  That hit me so profoundly because I see how most of us spend our days in a loop of the same crap.  Our parents suddenly need our care, our children are starting school, and you wake up in the same job, having the same conversations over and over again. 

The way we live life now is pretty crazy.  We literally spend years wishing our lives away, waiting for a different moment.  When we are little, we want to be a big kid.  We want to be 16 and drive to get some independence.  Then we want to be 18 to be an adult and go to school.  Then we want to be 21 to drink. Then we want to find a job.  Then we want to be married.  Have kids. Have a house. Then work gets to be too much and we just want our kids in school.  We constantly look for peace, thinking it is somewhere down the road because we are never told that peace comes from within and the fulfillment of our purpose.  Worse yet, we are never told our true purpose on this Earth is love.  It isn’t until our years are short that we see how much time we spent on the things that didn’t matter.    

I think about what I’ve done with my time, this permission I thought I needed, the rigid schedule I thought I needed to adhere to.  The pattern I thought I was supposed to follow only to wake up at mid-life and see that everything I was promised for following that path was either not worth the sacrifice or never came to be.  Nothing is guaranteed.  This story we are told of how we are supposed to spend our days is complete crap.  I am learning that we are far better served living in love.  Just love.  Love is the key.  We hold ourselves back on a promise we aren’t guaranteed when we can just DO what we are meant to.  We need each other because we aren’t meant to isolate and do it all alone—we are meant to foster connection.  Life isn’t about dominance and convenience, it’s about joy and love and creation.  THAT is the point. 

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