“You’re not alone, you’ve been separated,” via WildWoman. I sat with this one for a while because, as the universe has shown us repeatedly, there are messages in everything. Shortly after I finished my piece from yesterday, I saw this quote. It reminded me that a feeling isn’t the truth. We can feel any way we choose about any situation, including whether or not we interpret the actions of others as supportive. But the point is, it doesn’t matter because we have no control over that person. All we have is our interpretation. If we are going to intentionally misinterpret what someone else does then we are going to spend a lot of time in misery.
It’s so important to remember who we are and to remember who they are to you. I’m not talking about defining them or carrying an image of them in your mind, no. I’m talking about understanding on a deep level what this person does in your life. How you’re connected and what purpose that connection serves. Beyond the connection with other people, I often feel that the separateness from ourselves is easily overlooked. How quickly we give up our purpose for what we are told to do and how heavy is the mantle of that obligation from someone else we were never meant to carry. Do not sever the tie with your inner knowing for the sake of being seen by someone else. And always remember that just because you’re seen, that doesn’t mean you’re understood.
So many of the expectations we put on others or carry in our relationships comes from unfulfilled needs. The messed up thing is that they are needs we are taught to forgo because we have some romanticized idea of partner fulfillment that will always fall short because, as humans, we all have gaps to fill. We can’t use other people to fill those gaps. At the same time we are taught it’s selfish to have that type of focus on ourselves. It isn’t about cutting other people out or not helping, but it is about making sure you have enough to take care of others and fulfill your purpose. That is what this is all about: closing the gaps and the holes we’ve created in ourselves. It’s about finding the pieces we’ve given up hoping someone would give them back. It’s about creating the boundaries so we don’t lose those pieces again. Yes, it’s easier to go it with someone, but not if you’re carrying their baggage as well or vice versa. Form the connection with yourself again and only pick up what is yours.