In getting comfortable with taking these actions, I wanted to share some of the things that light me up. If I’m totally honest, I used to think this was a selfish question. Thinking about what worked for me alone never seemed really productive. The truth is, shoving down those desires didn’t do a bit of good anyway either. I realized there needed to be a middle ground. We can’t both ignore our needs/wants and get everything we want either. Knowing this middle ground required a different type of relationship with the self. It required understanding that our needs don’t make us selfish. And if we are really honest, living is a selfish act. We need to survive and, as much as I push learning to accept and help each other, not everyone experiences the opportunity for that kind of support. So where do we go from there?
Knowing our patterns allows us to course correct as we go. If we observe that course with honesty and patience, we will be able to adjust to get where we want to go. The act of “getting” isn’t necessarily about getting what we want, it’s about getting what is needed for the highest good. It’s about getting the tools we need to fulfill our purpose and share that with others. I drew cards today and one of them said, “Happiness is my birthright.” I started thinking about how I used to believe that was selfish. And then I realized I was angry because I really wanted to be happy but those around me weren’t making me happy. They weren’t putting in the effort I was to make THEM happy so I felt hurt and used. And it hit me, not only can we not pour from an empty cup, we can’t move forward if we aren’t happy.
I took some time to look at what actually made me happy instead of what I thought should make me happy. I really had to dig deep and start thinking about how things made me feel rather than what they looked like. I started working out daily because I love the way my body feels with movement. I’m trying to incorporate soulful connection because I know the answers aren’t something I can think into existence. I have to tap into my knowing and that type of knowing goes back to our guts. I love reading and telling stories and communicating with people. I love cooking and nourishing my body. I love being able to slow down and enjoy things. Like, I really enjoyed soaking in the tub the other night. I love clarifying my purpose and fulfilling that purpose.
What makes me happy is working on the future and watching it come to life. What makes me happy is hanging out with my kid and seeing the little things that make him happy. I love seeing him learn and I love seeing him grown into his own little person. I love helping people clarify what works for them and l love building them up enough to see them take the leap in their own lives. I love seeing the world wake up and the changes we are trying to make for the better. As scary as it is witnessing certain things collapse, I love that too because I know we are all trying to create a better future for everyone.
There is so much that makes me happy sometimes it feels overwhelming. But it is a privilege to be able to sit in the happiness and it is even more of a privilege to be able to share that happiness. There is the old adage that we don’t need as much as we think we do, and that is true. We build up this world where we are constantly striving for things. We miss out on the fact that we are simply able to exist. Yes, there are big things in this world and big questions to answer and it would be fascinating to answer those—but the point is to have enough experiences that we learn the answer. We gain that by going after what we enjoy. What a gift! What makes you happy?