I spoke about finding happiness yesterday and I wanted to touch on something that many of us struggle with during the changing of the season. As I look outside and see the snow, part of me feels the weight of the changing seasons, time passing, and what it means when we can’t get it back. It feels heavy regardless of the fact it happens every year and I can do nothing about it. It makes me want to go somewhere else entirely. But my gut is telling me I would feel this way no matter where I go.
Sometimes we want to run away thinking what we want is somewhere else. But the truth is, until you can sit and identify what you’re looking for, what your real desires are and what your real purpose is, you will feel lost no matter where you are. Until you know who you ARE, you will feel lost no matter where you are. So it is even more important to do the work and find where you want to be mentally, rather, how you want to feel mentally, and do the things that bring you closer to how you want to feel. Fixating on where you want to be or what you should be doing won’t help because you’re not addressing the issue. That is all internal, not external.
It’s tempting to idealize a vision we have in our head about what makes us feel better. I know I do that all the time. In some ways it does help because it gives us an idea of what we do want which can really motivate us to make some changes or do something else. But when we get stuck in the where we are NOT, it’s impossible to appreciate the moment we ARE. Visualize all you want, imagine all you want, but know where you are. Know who you are and you will never need to escape what you’re doing.
I don’t want to discount chemical things with the season either. For those of us with SAD, I know how hard it is, especially because there is a chemical component to it. That isn’t simply a matter of wanting to escape—even though it feels like it sometimes. I urge you to do whatever you can self-care wise to make yourself feel better. I urge all of you whether it is because of SAD or because you feel lost to sit and find those things that make you happy so you are able to see the changing of the season for what it is: a nature evolution in life. A natural progression that gets us closer to where we need to be. For those times when you feel like you want to jump out of your skin, I urge you to be patient and know that it will pass. There is so much good in this world, stick with it until you see it every day. Look for it every day until you know it with everything in you.