“They’re all dead, they just haven’t put the number on the gravestone,” JR Ridinger.  As timing would have it, right as I’m talking about how we use our time and how to have a meaningful life, I hear this quote and it simply reaffirms what we have been discussing the last few days.  To add more context, Ridinger was discussing the value of time and how we spend our lives and that most of us live on repeat (another topic we’ve talked about quite a bit, here) with the work, eat, sleep pattern.  He mentioned a story where he went to a graveyard and as he looked at the headstones, he saw the date the person was born and the date they died and in between was simply a dash.  He correlated that death with the way so many people live.  Is it really living if we are doing the same thing day after day?  Especially if we are spending that time fulfilling someone else’s dream?  So he simply meant that living the same day on repeat isn’t living.

I’ve heard people talk about this before but they look at it from the side of the dash.  The numbers on the stone are irrelevant, it’s what you do with the dash.  We all get a certain number of years and we don’t know what that number will be, so make the most of the years you have.  I don’t want to live half-dead.  There is no point to that.  We are all given so much talent and we all have a purpose to share, I don’t see the point of wasting that.  I was raised to believe that we needed to wait for permission to share our gifts or that we needed to be told we were wanted.  I know now that isn’t true. We are given those gifts to share and even if they aren’t for everyone, there are certainly people who need them.  THOSE are the ones we need to focus on.

I often think about how we are all so brainwashed and manipulated into believing that this is how we have to live.  I’m absolutely including myself in that as well because there are things I am responsible for and in order to meet those obligations, I have to do certain things.  Yes, I have the opportunity to make different choices in how I meet those obligations, but I have put myself in a position where I need to meet my end of the bargain.  That’s how we all live.  While I’m in this in between of knowing that I have responsibilities and simultaneously wanting to live freely, I’m trying to let the creativity flow more.  There are so many things we can do to break these patterns and bring ourselves to life.  The point is to do it now while we still have the ability.

So, what are you going to do with the dash?  Are you going to live the same day over and over again for 90 years?  Or are you going to find ways to infuse as much magic into your days as possible?  Finding the way to spread love and light and hope is what we do.  I posted on IG the other day about how we are naturally alchemical beings—I wrote about it here too some time ago.  And it’s true.  We were mislead to believe alchemy was the magic of turning lead into gold when in reality, it’s about making this life what we want.  It’s about recognizing what we have while we are here and turning the mundane into the magical.  It’s about realizing that LIVING is the gold, not the literal resource.  So take the time to make some magic.  Create the life of your dreams.  Inspire others to do the same.  Find new ways to do things.  Love this life.  And live while you are still in the dash.           

Recently our Chief Medical Officer celebrated his retirement and he spoke of his purpose in healthcare and what it meant to him.  I’ve been on the corporate side of healthcare for 20 years and I’ve been disillusioned and pained to see what healthcare has become.  But as I watched the video celebrating his accomplishments and his work over his lifetime, I realized that there are still people doing good things out there.  There are still people who care.  I mean, we all get involved in our work for one reason or another, but there is a distinct difference when we do work we love instead of working for profit.

His pictures showing a lifetime of work and family and people he’s impacted showed me another key point: the meaning in work comes from us.  We can’t assume that something will be meaningful just because we partake in it.  We need to assign the meaning and decide what is important to us.  It is something to see years of work flashing by on a screen, captured in pictures and video, thinking of what it meant in each of those moments.  THAT was something aspirational because the more we can participate in life, the more meaning we have.

In healthcare in particular, we are trained to disregard our needs in favor of taking care of others.  While I understand this in practice and even a bit in purpose, I do not understand the point of sacrificing your own life and time with your family for others.  A majority of those hundreds of beautiful moments were spent at work.  Yes, there was family along and there were probably many moments in private, but the time spent away from family came at a cost.  That time won’t come back.  So when it comes to a life well spent and creating meaningful work, it is about balance. 

When it comes to how I want to be remembered, I want to be known for inspiring people to find their purpose, for showing people there is a different way, for loving my family and friends fiercely, and for driving people to find their identity.  I want to help people awaken everything that they are, everything that makes them who they are.  I want to be remembered as someone who inspired change and saw the big picture and helped people put it together.  I want to be remembered for love.

I think there is something that has been lost in our communication.  We take for granted the speed with which we can communicate and we’ve watered down the meaning behind what we do.  We expect people to understand us with minimum communication and veiled inuendo.  I recently came across a meme trying to encourage people toward growth.  It said, “Instead of a long paragraph, just say ‘OK’ and move on.”  I don’t agree with that because that isn’t communication.  That’s cutting people off.  You have more depth to what you’re feeling than two letters.  Speak what you’re actually feeling.  THAT is communication.  In a society that moves faster than our thoughts sometimes, we aren’t patient enough to wait for people to really get to the point.  Sometimes it takes a while to even understand what we are trying to say and if we are struggling with that, it will certainly take time for people to understand. 

Now to be fair, communication is contingent on the other person understanding so if what you’re saying is falling on deaf ears, then by all means, cut your losses and move on especially if it isn’t a relationship you’re interested in maintaining.  But if this is someone important to you, then you need to help them understand.  We are a throw away culture, including with each other, and we need to remember the value in our relationships. 

So, getting back to the point of communication and cheapening your thoughts with “OK”, I want to talk about what it does to you when you don’t speak what is really on your mind.  Again, if this is someone who is determined to misunderstand or who simply isn’t capable, then yes, make the choice to save yourself.  But when you have something to say and you choose to stifle it and choke it down, you’re repressing the emotion behind it.  There are always appropriate times to share those emotions so if you’re not able to articulate it in the moment then let that person know you need some time to digest what they’ve brought to you.  Then you can piece together what you really mean instead of ending the conversation.  We need to remember how to have the conversation.

Today I am grateful for time.  There is so much potential with time.  We can make what we want of it and decide what we want it to look like.  It’s the most valuable currency we will ever have.  I struggled most of my life with a fear of time (and I still have anxiety around it) because I was always acutely aware of the finality of it—it is a truly non-renewable resource.  So I have been trying to focus better on HOW I spend my time rather than how MUCH time I have.  It puts more meaning into the moments we have and forces us to make better choices on how we spend our time.  Once you have that appreciation for it, you look at time differently. 

Today I am grateful for memories.  I will admit that I had an unhealthy relationship with my past for a long time.  I clung to physical clutter to always remind me of a time that I held up on a pedestal.  I tried to find ways to re-create what I felt then because I felt safe in a lot of ways.  I mean, as I really look at it, I felt safe throughout all of that trauma because of my parents, but they did a really good job keeping me as happy as they knew how throughout a lot of crap.  There is a lot of emotional attachment to them because of that but also to the things we shared that I’ve held onto.  And I am appreciative of that time, what they did for me, and of putting it in a new context that I know what I want to do for my son.  I am grateful to give back to them and to hold onto some tradition while creating my own.

Today I am grateful for acceptance.  I spent some time at my parents house today with my sister and we were separating and dividing some of the Christmas stuff we’ve accumulated over the years.  Working our way through decades of family history and working to split up our shared history showed me how differently we view our past.  The same items from the same time have an entirely different meaning to us.  We talked about moving on and allowing our family to be who they are and the challenges that come with that.  We each have this idea of what we want the family to look like and how we want to feel, but we have to allow each other to be who they are.

Today I am grateful for slowing down.  We kept today simple.  My son and I went to the store, we went to my parents house, we talked with some friends for a bit, and then my husband and I made dinner together.  There is so much more value in presence than in pushing and we need to be mindful of when we need to slow down and when we need to push through.  Daylight Savings Time ended this weekend and the light goes away much sooner so we are all slowing down with the weather, as the season is changing again.  It is the season of going within and reflecting on all we’ve done and letting the seeds we’ve planted for next year begin to sprout. 

Today I’m grateful for love.  My son just ran up to me and said he wanted a hug and when I only was able to put one arm around him he looked at me and said, “No, mommy, I want a two armed hug.”  So I did and he goes, “Yes, that’s how I like my hugs.”  It melted my heart.  I love this age, this time with him because he is constantly reminding me to be present with him.  He reminds me to settle down and pay attention and he is curious about everything.  I love the reminder to explore curiosity.

Today I am grateful to understand what it means to do things for the sake of doing them.   I went out with the neighbors last night and we went shopping for the holidays.  We talked and laughed and just had conversation.  Yes, I was able to accomplish something but it wasn’t about that.  It was about being together and laughing and not fixating on the same things over and over again.  It was about connecting and taking a break to create some space for myself that wasn’t totally about DOING.  It was just about BEING with each other and spending time together.

Wishing everyone a wonderful week ahead!

I recently pestered my husband with the classic, “Are you ok?” when I habitually asked it twice in a really short period of time.  He said, “It makes me angry when you do that.  How many times are you going to ask me within 5 minutes?”  And I truly understood, what he said wasn’t wrong.  So I told him I needed a minute and I really did some reflection by going upstairs and taking some time alone.  I am too wound up in him and I need some separation in general.  It struck me that I’m always looking for ways to take care of him, to move through something that is “wrong”, and to fix something.  I’m always prepared for my life to fall apart and I don’t know how to enjoy it.  So I do appreciate him snapping when it comes to that revelation.

During that evening alone, I realized a few other things too.  Like I’m always asking him if something is wrong because I’ve set the tone it’s my job to fix things.  Like I’m so conditioned to be dealing with crisis that I automatically expect everything to be bad.  Like I’m conditioned that way from previous events in our relationship that he will never acknowledge.  Like he will never recognize his role in the trauma he caused in my life. Like I need to worry more about if I’M ok and start addressing that over his concerns.  He takes care of himself. 

That latter part bothered me as well.  We’ve been together 20 years and he still feels the need to keep that facet of his life separate.  He will take care of himself over the family every time.  It made me angry for a long time.  I can accept that I need to take better care of myself instead of focusing on him.  I’m not his mother.  I used to say that in the context of me “having” to fix things but now I say it in the context of I need to take care of myself and he is a grown man.  He will figure it out whether it looks how I think it should or not.  He doesn’t need me and I need to make myself stronger so I don’t need him in the same way.  I’ve still been in the damsel in distress mode when I needed to remember what I was capable of. 

I also need to remember that as I grow, he is growing too.  It doesn’t necessarily mean we are growing together and only time will tell on that.  But I KNOW I will not be gaslit into believing that these energetic shifts aren’t happening.  I can see them and I can feel them.  Those moments of needing to be apart more and looking for other outlets and other people.  The silent phone conversations where we really don’t have much to say.  Or the distracted conversations where he pretends to be interested.  We are changing and our needs are different.  I HAVE to allow that.  It isn’t his job to jump up and fill in where I am lacking, even if I did that for him.  It’s my job to take care of myself and develop who I am.  Wherever the cards fall, that is where they are meant to be. 

So in the context of “OK,”  I’m sort of alright.  I feel good and I really have no animosity toward him.  It hurts, yes, but I can keep it in perspective.  This is one of those things that I will need to work on correcting for myself.  I’m highly sensitive so I know when something is wrong even if it isn’t major.  But I have to accept that even if something IS wrong, I may not be the one needed to fix it—even if I can.  It’s about backing out and finding where I am needed and when.  I can be the savior to everyone, but they may not need me—and that is ok.  I know I’m not alone in this behavior.  So…what can we do for ourselves to find our center again?  What will make us ok?

“What has to die in your life for what you are creating to be born?” Deepak Chopra.  I love this.  I’ve been speaking to the intense changes happening in my life right now and this is so appropriate to my experience.  I’ve learned that the first thing that has to die is the idea that you can be everything to everyone and make everyone happy.  I’ve spoken many times about living in multiple worlds at once and trying to keep both balanced and how it feels like straddling a track that is diverging.  We can’t keep a leg in both worlds forever—we get stretched too thin and then nothing gets done.  Or we build resentment because the things that get done aren’t in support of our goals. 

The second thing that has to die is the idea that doing as you’re told will get you anywhere if it isn’t something aligned with your goals.  I spent so much of my life doing exactly what I was told because I was raised with the belief that good things would come if you followed the path laid out in front of you.  I was raised to believe that your dreams would come true if you did the “right” thing at all times.  What I learned is that, yes, life does sometimes throw you a bone if you’re “good” to people.  But the reality is, if you’re doing what you’re told, you’re following a system designed to benefit itself.  There is only so much room at the top in a place like that.  In order to progress in your life AND feel fulfilled, you need to do what is aligned with you. 

The third thing that has to die is the guilt of doing what is right for you.  Right in line with doing what we’re told, is the belief that we are bad or selfish if we do what is right for us.  It is SO uncomfortable the first few times you set boundaries and do what you need to do.  When I first tried it, I took it as a sign that I wasn’t meant to have those types of boundaries.  In reality, I just needed more practice.  The guilt was so engrained that I couldn’t tell the difference between a sign and training.  So I flexed my wings.  I KNEW what I needed to do and that is what kept me moving forward.     

The fourth thing that has to die is any misconception that you can’t do it.  We all have a calling and if there is something that you know is for you, then you CAN do it.  You wouldn’t have the idea if it wasn’t meant to be brought forward by YOU.  We aren’t always trained to hear the whispers telling us what our gift is, but we are meant to re-train ourselves and answer that call.  Self-doubt will kill any dream long before someone else does.  So step up and get that nasty voice in check. 

The last thing that has to die is your plan.  I know that seems counterintuitive, especially when I’m talking about following “that” voice.  I’ve learned first hand that the voice is an excellent guide and the purpose behind it is true.  However, the plan we have in place to do achieve that may not always be the plan we are meant to follow.  Believing that things have to look a certain way only hinders you from allowing them to BE what they are meant to be.  Along with this is allowing the version of you that you thought you’d be die as well.  It’s painful because we tie our hopes an expectations to that person.  I honestly think that was the most painful part because that girl did her best every step of the way and carried the weight of the world on her shoulders and just wanted to be recognized.  I let her know I respected her and appreciated everything she did and that I would always carry her with me.  And then I let her rest.

Death is absolutely an ending and it can be terrifying.  But it can also be one of the most liberating things in the world.  Every year, we watch the seasons come in and out and we don’t fear that the next one won’t be there.  We allow it and accept all of the things that come with those transitions.  So death is also the beginning.  In nature, that is often the case.  So greet death as a friend.  Appreciate what you have while it is here and know that what is coming will be greater.  Know that you have it in you to move forward and take on the next steps.  Allow your death and greet your new self with open arms.    

“Effort is important but knowing where to make an effort makes all the difference,” via warrenbuffetquote. This is akin to our car’s engine breaking down and we worry about fixing the tires.  All of the effort in the world will mean nothing if it isn’t focused where it needs to be.  The world is filled with distraction and will always test you when it feels like you are well on your way.  There are things designed to tempt you and all of those things serve someone else’s bottom line.  We settle for what is deemed “safe” and we turn over our purpose as long as we can afford the few trinkets we are told we need.  The only safety that exists is what you create for yourself.  You need to be your own safe harbor.

We can spend all the time in the world creating a safety net for others and not realize that we are getting pulled down trying to hold it up.  It is far easier to teach people to save themselves instead of being the one to lift them up.  We are a Marvel family and in The Avengers, Captain America and Tony Stark go into battle and Steve Rogers says, “You’ll never be the one to lay on the wire.” Tony Stark replies, “I think I would just cut the wire.”   I know this is supposed to demonstrate Cap’s self-sacrificing nobility, but I think this is a perfect highlight of Tony’s genius.  If you lay on the wire, yes you have the chance to help those with you, but if you die, then there is nothing else you can do.  If you cut the wire, you may save infinitely more people and you get to fight another day.  It’s a perfect example of go to the source of the problem and fix that—don’t band-aid the solution.  If you constantly fix things at your own expense, you become the band-aid and the problem still exists.

I will add that there is a middle ground between martyrdom and selfishness.  Invest your energy in yourself first and in taking care of yourself and learning yourself.  Once you know who you are and what your purpose is, you will have laser focus on where to put your effort.  We are designed to help each other but we can’t do that on an empty tank and we certainly can’t do that if we are fixated on getting the latest and greatest next thing.  We need to focus on doing the latest and greatest next thing. 

Simply put, we can work smarter not harder—and there is nothing selfish about that.  There is nothing sneaky or smarmy about it either.  Putting in concentrated effort to yield the most results is simply smart.  If you want to make strides in this world, start with yourself, then find the best way to move forward based on that information.  Being who you are is how you can help others and how you can make a difference not only in your life but in the world as well. 

“A kid falls more than 50 times to learn to walk.  He never thinks ‘maybe this isn’t for me’,” via Warrenbuffettquote.  Learning curves can be steep, but we don’t learn if we give up.  I’ve recently taken a chance on something I’ve never done before, but it’s something that has shown up in my life multiple times in multiple ways.  I believe in signs and this thing has shown up so many times over the years that I finally decided to give it a shot.  It also coincided with some of the life choices I mentioned in Saturday’s post.  And in true synchronistic fashion, as I had decided to NOT do it, the book I was reading mentioned that is exactly one of the things they recommend doing.  So I figured it’s time to take a chance and that I had been looking at the opportunity the wrong way.

So I took the leap and decided to really gamble on myself.  To really take things in my own hands and see what comes of it.  I know that not everything turns out as we plan but sometimes we have to take the chance anyway.  This quote from Warren Buffett reminded me that sometimes persistence and resilience is the key.  I firmly believe that we can’t blind ourselves and that when things aren’t working we need to pivot—but that isn’t a time to stop.  It’s a time to find a new approach.  So my new approach is an entirely different industry.  I’m taking a new approach.  One of the recommendations in “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” is that you don’t simply go after the money.  You need to focus on the lesson you want to learn.  So for me, learning how to manage a business is key.  I’ve always wanted my own business but I’ve struggle to define what that would be.  So I’m taking a shot on something different.  I can learn the business side and I can use those skills for my other projects.

Knowing there will be bumps in the road is key.  Whenever I made a financial risk before, I would always panic at the slightest hiccup or challenge.  But this time around, I will keep Buffet’s quote in mind.  When we fall, there is something to learn from it.  We can pick ourselves up and take another step forward.  We just have to remember the lesson in it.  Knowing that there will be challenges keeps our eyes open and anything good that comes of it is a surprise.  It’s a reprieve.   

I know venturing out on my own is risky but I figure that staying exactly where I am, wanting something else is riskier.  I need to take the chance.  There is something else I can learn in this and taking a calculated risk is never a bad thing.  Plus there comes a point when you’re hit with the same opportunity (after passing it up) so many times that you need to take the shot.  These things repeat for a reason.  It may not be the reason you think, but it will get you closer to where you need to be.  So I’m looking at this as a time to prepare for my falls and reminding myself that a fall isn’t a failure.  I’m ready for the lessons that are coming and I look forward to it! 

“You are not lazy.  You are tired.  Perhaps you are lacking a few meaningful goals.  Get some rest.  Breathe a little.  Start dreaming again.  Set a plan, remember your strength, march on with enthusiasm, and love and all will be well,” Brendon Burchard.  This came at a perfect time.  I really struggled with my mental health and energy over the last few months.  I had some triggers around my self-esteem and that sent me into a spiral.  There were some new demands on my time at work and at home, and I struggled to balance it all for a few weeks. I couldn’t get anything done and it made me feel like crap.  I felt so worthless and unfocused and like I was being torn in a million directions at the same time.  And whenever I stopped, my mind raced with what I should be doing. 

Then I saw Brendon’s quote and it reminded me that I can’t do all things.  Something I had been telling my self for a while anyway.  But when you’re highly driven and seeing progress, it’s hard to cut anything out because you want to keep going.  That was like burning candles at every end.  It left me exhausted and spent and barely able to keep my eyes open during the day.  I still felt lazy and I felt incompetent because I couldn’t balance all that I was trying to do.  The things I was getting done weren’t things I wanted to be doing.  I always wanted to be doing something else.  My conditioning made me feel lazy because I wasn’t accomplishing what I was trained to get done. 

Brendon’s quote and the quote from yesterday about choosing yourself reminded me that this life isn’t about people pleasing, it’s about living.  When we choose ourselves we are able to clarify what we need and where we spend our energy.  Focusing on what is right for us isn’t selfish as we are taught to believe.  It is what gets us closer to our purpose and fulfilling that purpose. It is perfectly fine to draw the line and say, “from here out, I have to choose me.”  When we do that we bring our best to the table because we eliminate the other voices.  We eliminate the distractions and the pull of what other people need.  It is when we fulfill our purpose that we do the most good.

I mentioned I took time off of work the other day.  I did so because we are in a huge transition and there is a lot of unknown at the moment.  We are all facing a boat load of projects and there hasn’t been much in the way of direction or prioritization other than it all needs to get done.  There is still the expectation that all will get done or that we implicitly know what needs to be done.  When that is the case for multiple areas over multiple departments from multiple leaders, something is wrong with the structure.  I realized how much of their own confusion they were putting on me to unravel.  And as I worked my way through it, the criticism came.  Not that I don’t need a thick skin, but if you’re not going to do the work then don’t complain about mine.  And if you wanted it a certain way, then you better say that. 

I also took the time off of work because I need to evaluate my future and my time.  I want to really define what I want my life to look like outside of the corporate world.  While I enjoy many facets of my job, the politics of it are harder and harder to cope with.  The truth is that I’m not getting any younger, I want to have more freedom, my son needs me and I don’t want to miss out, and I want to do something for myself.  Between the need to decompress and the need to get honest about next steps, that required some deep work.  I’m glad I took the time off, even if it only served to remind me that it really is ok to put myself first.  That it really is ok to admit I need a break—and to TAKE IT.  I can’t serve if I’m not fully present for myself.  I recommend taking the time you can and reconnecting with who you are and listening.  All the answers are there.  Just do it and see what comes of it.  

While driving back from shopping on Saturday, an amazing feeling washed over me.  I don’t know if it was the weather (it was a PERFECT fall day in every sense of the word) or if it was the conversation with my husband about moving forward with our lives…or even the breakfast I had that kept me in check.  But something in that moment took hold—it most certainly wasn’t FROM me—it was TO me.  As we drove along, there was an evergreen with a tree growing through it.  The deep green of the pine surrounded the fading lime-green/yellow of the other tree, two separate entities now one.  That little tree pushing through was determined to make it work.  I don’t know how it happened, whether a wind accidentally dropped a latent seed and the tree grew through the dark of the evergreen, or if they were planted too close together—but somehow these trees were thriving, intertwined with one another.

So the “revelation” for lack of a better word was that these trees are a perfect metaphor for my life on several levels.  I’m becoming who and what I was meant to be and I’m growing through the shell of my old life.  I need to settle down enough to allow life to happen.  We’ve been in our new house for four months and I’ve pushed and pushed to “settle” in so I’m comfortable.  But the things that make me comfortable don’t fit in with what we have here.  That ISN’T a bad thing.  I’ve struggled to make the new what I knew before when I needed to learn what is.  I needed to settle in to what IS rather than forcing it to be what it was. And that is my life in a nutshell—I have to stop rushing.  In the effort to control the outcome and to “know” everything that is coming (because knowing is comfortable), I’m forcing things to be what they aren’t and I’m missing the lessons that are there.

Those trees also showed me that there are more ways to grow into our own skins and be comfortable than using defense mechanisms (control) to give the illusion of comfort/being on top of things.  My entire life has been a series of rapid-fire changes, drama, and loss.  No, that isn’t the whole story and I’ve been very fortunate overall, however, the times I experienced all of those things was formative for me.  As a child, I never had the chance to develop my own identity because as soon as I thought I knew, something shifted and I had to adapt.  I was never allowed to settle into me.  So I sought control and things that made me comfortable.  I liked order in the sense of knowing and being prepared for my day and I liked completion in the sense of forming my collections and prizes to keep me “safe” because having it all meant I wouldn’t be surprised and I wasn’t behind.  But letting it all go and allowing the things that are meant for us to land makes it easier to accept the changes.      

It was also interesting to think of the two types of trees, once independent, now needed each other to survive.  I’m sure those root systems are completely woven together at this stage of the game.  When we build our lives near someone else or with someone else, it is the same.  While you remain separate beings, there are facets that become dependent on each other whether you like it or not.  Two beings that are as different as can be can still find a common ground to grow from.  I like to think that helps them thrive, although, after 20 years with the same person, I know that isn’t always the case.  But when you shift and learn to see things from the other’s perspective, you can learn how to support each other.  We all need different things to thrive so it’s about learning what the other person needs and making sure they know what you need.  It is absolutely give and take.  I see how important it is to know yourself even if you decide to root with someone else.      

So when I think of those trees, I am hopeful.  I am learning to settle and adapt to reality.  There is chaos in this world, no denying it, but we are able to navigate that with more ease when we stay open to what is.  In searching for safety, we look for familiar things but sometimes what is familiar was only meant to get us to a certain point and we were supposed to grow from there.  For me, some of those lessons were too short and I don’t feel like I had enough time before I was thrust into something else.  But I have to trust that the universe wouldn’t have moved me forward if I wasn’t ready.  As I’m learning now, that was more reason than anything to appreciate what we have while we have it and to be as present as possible.  Time moves quickly and it only moves forward so we can learn to adapt and make the best, and when we do that, we will thrive.