Aftershock…More on What Matters

Photo by Suzy Hazelwood on

There’s a new skill…we no longer demand of people, telling/making them do what we want. No.  We are far more insidious than that.  We manipulate and drive people to become something they are not.  We make them believe they want it and that they need it.  We make them believe it was their idea and blame them when they wake up saying it was their choice all along.  And I say no to that.  I’m the kind of person who will absolutely try to brainwash you but I will brainwash you into believing that you are capable and can do anything on your own.  I’m the kind of person who says the idea of a system is great as long as it works for the people and you don’t have people working for the system.  But that is not the reality we live in right now.  Now we are content to escape to a reality that doesn’t exist because being here is simply too painful.  It is simply too much.  So we sacrifice what reality IS and go for something we can imagine.  We don’t have the energy to make what IS any better because we are so bogged down.  The wheel is breaking my friends.  And it can no longer sustain the in-between age of creating something new while maintaining the old regime.  There is room for a lot in this world, but that dichotomy isn’t something it can support.  We have to choose, one way or the other.  We can’t have both.  We have to lovingly accept what is, thank what was, and leg go of what no longer serves.  Release.  Allow.  Breathe.

We live in this type of culture where manipulation and influencing and coercion are the norm and we wonder why we feel so drained all the time.  Our energy is literally everywhere but with us.  Throw in the expectation to be available 24/7 to anyone all while trying to survive in the working world and it is another unsustainable system.  We have to reclaim who we are.  for me that starts with boundaries.  I recognize that this isn’t a way to live.  I see that this isn’t the way to move forward.  I see that people are breaking and having to make decisions based on their self-worth and their survival that no human should have to endure.  We all deserve love and peace.  That is the minimum of being human.  So reclaim that energy and I’m doing that by taking my time and spending it how I want to.  I’m creating the life I want by what I’m saying yes to…and what I’m saying no to.  Your feelings have no bearing on what I KNOW I need for me.  And my needs will ALWAYS trump your wants.

I’m not saying I’m some puritanical angel with a heart of gold blah, blah, blah.  I’m saying that I wear my heart on my sleeve and what I feel is real.  When I want people to succeed, I mean that.  When I have an issue with someone, you will damn well feel it when I walk in the room.  I’m upfront and honest and yes, it has cost me a lot, but it has also given me clarity.  I’ve learned when I need to be more open.  I’ve learned when I need to give people the benefit of the doubt, and yes, I’ve learned when I need to be more patient.  I’ve also learned to accept that my reality is actually pretty damn good.  All the bitching and whining over the years, the wasted time waiting for things to be perfect before moving, all the fights and forced stops put my life on hold for a long time and now I see where the boundary is.  I used to feel empowered offering a defiant no to someone asking me to do something out of my comfort zone.  Now I know when I need to look at the opportunity and offer something more from myself. All of that anger was because I used to waste my energy doing things for people hoping they would like me.  It’s different when you do something because you want to.

So it is ok to set the boundary and say no to manipulation.  It is ok to not follow an influencer or to even be interested in influencing anyone.  It is 100% necessary to see through the staged lives we are trained to believe are normal and to see through the manipulation we are force-fed every day—I’m talking about ads and work and our government and the people trying to make a buck off of you without really offering any value.  It’s time to wake up and see what our role is in this type of society.  We can continue to keep our eyes closed and pretend it doesn’t impact us as we go to buy the latest cell phones or when we put in extra hours for our boss and miss another event for our kids.  OR.  We can stand up and say, “No thank you.  I have other things to do with my time.”  It’s scary to do that.  But the more we normalize reality and start re-prioritizing what is important, the more we recognize that the most precious things in our lives are right in front of us, the more people will start to feel comfortable with that.  It shouldn’t be a luxury to have dinner with your family.  Or to go for a hike.  Or to take a vacation.  Or to afford some damn shoes/food/a place to live.  It’s all in our hands.  What are you going to choose?  What are you an example of?  

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