Interrupting This Week for Some Thankful Thursday

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We all need reminders of what we are grateful for, and amidst the BS going on in this world, we need to bring our appreciation to the forefront and display it as much as possible.  We need a flood of love and gratitude.  Jay Shetty said, “Gratitude is noticing the good within you, around you, created for you.”  Today is a perfect day to practice that.

I am thankful for my becoming.  I have never hidden my controlling side or my anxious side or my fears…but I also never allowed myself to fully let go.  As much as I reveal here and as much as I share in my life, I am still holding back.  And I realized that serves no one, least of all myself.  See, when you talk in vague generalities, it’s safe.  The stories we share about our lives can be scary either because people don’t understand them or, more likely, because they do.  The stories we share touch parts of us that we have chosen to keep hidden.  But I am grateful for becoming the person who can learn to release layer after layer.  I’m grateful to become the person who creates a space for people to do the same.  I’m grateful to see that I can’t go back.

I am thankful for the infinite patience of the universe.  I’m a smart woman—but incredibly stubborn…so that makes me kind of dumb sometimes.  I often believe that people will eventually recognize what they have to do and do what’s right.  Unfortunately, it takes me a long time to realize that what they think is right or what is actually right for them isn’t necessarily what I think.  I also have a tendency toward control (shocking, I know) so when I am faced with a lesson I need to learn, I have a bad habit of thinking I already know the answer.  I’ve been pretty independent as far as taking care of my needs and I have a role that demands I take charge but life isn’t about taking charge of others.  It’s about learning to direct our own course.  I am thankful the universe is like, “Ok, let’s try that again,” until I learn and move on.

I am thankful for reminders to get out of my self-pity.  I suffer from anxiety and depression and anyone who has that combo knows that there are many highs and lows and it is very easy to get stuck in the sad story you tell yourself.  It is also really easy to allow the feelings to win because they feel so real, it seems like that is all there is.  I know deep down I am not meant to be that type of person.  I am meant to live and love and help people do the same so I have been blessed with an abundance of opportunities in my life to share, to have comfort, to offer help to others, and to have enough security to put me in a position to expand how I offer help to others.  It was a dangerous lack of confidence that held me back.  But that is something that can be overcome.  I’ve been blessed with the tools to help and that is my role.

I am thankful for my opportunities.  There have been days over the last few weeks that felt so heavy that I could barely function.  My mind spun so I literally forgot where I was and where I needed to be a few times.  I could barely breathe or see my own feet in front of me let alone see what was hidden and unfolding at the same time.  I had to stop everything I was doing.  It was the reaffirmation of being on the right path several times that made me stop and simply breathe.  I needed to recognize that everything coming at me wasn’t a negative thing—many of them were opportunities.  The weight was heavy because I was treating it like a circus act, spinning plates, thinking I had to keep them ALL going.  In reality, I just needed to take care of the ones meant for me.

I am thankful for my boundaries.  The holidays for the last few years have looked different with the pandemic and this year is different for other reasons.  Going through the social changes we have over the last few years has shown me where I need to set some boundaries.  We have such limited time on this Earth that we need to make decisions that are right for us.  It can be done lovingly and respectfully and even in that way, it can still make people uncomfortable when you’ve never set the boundary before.  It doesn’t matter.  You aren’t living your life for them.

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday

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