“Reminder: A healed woman is powerful. A focused man is dangerous” via ecommerce mentor. The theme I seem to be on this week is addressing and healing the wounds left for us before we even got here. This is perfect and something we all need to be reminded of. Looking at generational trauma wasn’t something I considered much previously. I mean, yes, I’ve noticed patterns and I’ve chalked a lot of my decisions/actions up to genetics and the environment I was raised in, but I didn’t consider the impact of someone else’s life experiences on me—especially because they happened before me. Then again, it only makes sense. They learned to live based on their experiences and that is what they passed down. So healing those wounds is a lot of work. When we don’t know how those wounds started in the first place it can be even more challenging.
When it comes to the generational stuff, I sunk at first. I let my emotion lead the way. I mean, thinking about it as I write this, that kind of makes sense. My grandmother was never allowed to feel her feelings, she never let my mother feel hers, so I think I took on the chore of feeling EVERYTHING. She wanted family and love because she never felt safe with hers. She was born in a different time, lived through three wars, saw her parents hate each other, tried to be perfect to get their attention, tried to bring her family together. I saw my mother do the same thing after being tortured by her mother. Even though my grandmother’s intentions were good, her methods left a lot of scars.
Regardless of how hard it is, healing is some of the most important work we can do. It isn’t just a matter of healing wounds for the sake of feeling better. It’s taking feeling better and moving forward. It’s moving to the next level. I alluded to this in a post the other day when I talked about being cut from the same cloth. We heal what they couldn’t. Not to glorify the wounded martyr, but we often mistake sacrifice as power. Really it’s a form of manipulation, an attempt to get others to give us what we think we can’t (or shouldn’t) give ourselves. I can speak that freely—I’ve done it a million times before. I’ve already acknowledged I don’t want to be that martyr, and now I see where it came from.
When you’re lonely and insecure, you often look to create any form of safety around you so you have some sense of security. But all of that is an illusion. We can only build ourselves up enough to know that we can carry ourselves through anything. There is no guarantee that what we have today will be there tomorrow. That isn’t a morbid outlook, it’s more of a check point to shift perspective. Trying to make people happy so they will support you only allows you to feel victimized when they don’t play to your rules. Developing a sense of self and having confidence is where you learn your real power.
And I’m seeing now more clearly than ever the power of love. Love is a healer. It’s a vibration. Some say it’s a chemical reaction and that’s true as well, but it stems from our intention. It’s absolutely an energy that we transmit and we can use it for ourselves as well. The world needs the power of love now. We are all shifting and that takes a huge toll on us mentally, emotionally, and physically. We need our power and we need to focus on rebuilding. So love and heal. That is how we garner that energy. Don’t be afraid to face that part of you that needs to heal. That is where you find your strength.