Today’s gratitude is a bit different.
Today I am grateful to be alive. I don’t want to be flippant and ignore that yesterday marked the 20th anniversary of the September 11th terrorist attacks, but I needed some time to process what I wanted to say. Everyone has their story of what happened and where they were on September 11th, 2001. For me, I had only started dating the man who would become my husband a few weeks before. My mother and I went to New York to visit my sister. We got back, and exactly seven days later, 20 years ago yesterday, the towers I had just seen in person, fell. I sat in a classroom watching the attack, resulting from so many complicated things, and feeling helpless, hoping my sister was ok. My heart hurt witnessing people die, the images frozen in time and recorded as planes flew into buildings and people jumped to their deaths rather than suffocate or burn to death. It has a surreal feeling to it now, two decades removed. The pain is there, but it means something different. We’ve lost the ability to come together as we did in the days following the attack. We’ve all endured countless painful events since then—that is life. But that doesn’t negate the memory of those who lost that opportunity that day. Who would they be? Who would we be? We won’t ever know that, but I know and I don’t ever forget that I was given an opportunity to do something new after that moment. Remember, we are better together. Now, to share some lessons from the last week.
Today I am grateful for the words of wisdom from my son. We sat outside, me ever chewing and contemplating and feeling the nervousness course through my body. I had some work to do and I told him it was time to go in. He looked at me and simply said, “Mommy we have plenty of time to enjoy the view.” He is so much smarter than I am. I am truly grateful for the gentle reminders to take in life as it’s happening and to appreciate what is right in front of me. It’s hard to not constantly move, but we all need the time to enjoy the view.
Today I am grateful for clarity and boundaries. There are things I am working to achieve in my life and I finally feel some peace that I don’t need to fulfill some social obligation or offer an explanation if something isn’t aligned with what I need to do. No one is going to come and save me or present the life I envision for myself—I don’t need to worry about pleasing people who contribute nothing to my arena.
Today I am grateful for support. Things happen for a reason, even the delays and the setbacks. I hate that part if I’m entirely honest, but I know enough that it does happen for a reason. There are so many times things aren’t going according to plan and I’m struggling to keep my head afloat but I have learned that there are unexpected resources that show up and help us when we least expect it. We just have to be open to it.
Today I am grateful for nature. I’ve needed a lot of deep healing and I’ve been working on different ways to get out in nature lately. I spent time with my plants, Earthing in my yard, and out on the water. I still feel an immense energy surging but I am so grateful to have a place to re-evaluate and examine what’s going through in my head. I’m grateful for the tools that mother nature gives us and to learn how to use them. Nature is medicine.
Wishing everyone a wonderful week ahead.