“There’s nothing easy about realizing you’re the one that’s been holding you back this whole time,” via mindset.therapy. This is an appropriate follow up to yesterday’s post about holding back our gifts. Perhaps it’s a bit of a subconscious message to myself about why I’ve been feeling so off lately. I haven’t been giving enough attention to my personal goals and my spirit knows it. I’ve mentioned many times that starting a self-improvement journey focused on evolving and letting go of your inhibitions requires radical honesty. I want to add that, not only do we have to be really honest, we also have to have incredible follow through. Step one is acknowledging the issue and step two is figuring out what you can do about it and step three is executing.
It is painful to see that the bully and the real reason you haven’t gotten where you want to be is you. It’s not like we can walk away from ourselves, and there are millions of people who try—addiction to virtually anything, avoiding family and friends, jumping from job to job or place to place. That often doesn’t work because you are still YOU at the end of the day and that isn’t some baggage you can check—you carry that on at all costs and at all times. We have to learn to deal with the baggage. I feel like there is a lot of shame surrounding self-perceived failure. It’s human nature to want to look like we have it all under control because if we look weak, we create separation. But we never acknowledge that we ALL FEEL THAT WAY. We all feel weak at times. We all fail at something, period. It’s the come back that is most important.
So, painful or not, the reality is those “painful” feelings will go away. Embarrassment doesn’t have to be lasting. Continuing to treat yourself like crap because of some misguided belief can be permanent until you make the choice to stop yourself. Again, you can’t run from that voice no matter what you do, so learn to get that in check. It’s a mountain, yes. But it is worth every sweaty, emotional, step to the top. Because once you’re out of your own way there is literally no one that can stop you. I also want to acknowledge that people aren’t paying as much attention to you as you think. Yes, there is a sick habit of pointing out flaws but once you see that has nothing to do with you and everything to do with that other person’s insecurities, it’s easier to brush it off and deal with your own goals.
I think we also need to get comfortable with the idea that it doesn’t matter what progress looks like as long as we make progress. Mel Robbins talked about the habit we have to only celebrate something when it is achieved. Like, you’re only worthy when you cross the finish line. The truth is we may set a bar for ourselves and we may not reach it, but the real question is, did we get closer? If we can mark progress then we are already further than those who don’t believe in us. Most importantly, this is all outside interference. Celebrate yourself for every step you take rather than lamenting how far you need to go. Each time you speak ill of where you’re at, you chip away at your will to keep going—and that holds you back. So no, there is nothing easy about admitting you’re your own worst enemy. But if you wouldn’t let someone talk to your friend in a negative way, why the hell do you allow yourself to speak to yourself that way? Take the time to do the work and then, do something different. If you can survive as much as you have treating yourself as you do now, imagine what you can do if you simply believed?