SHINE

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“Don’t hide your magic because others feel uncomfortable.  The universe gave you gifts for a reason.  So use them,” Via spiritual goal.  This is one of those things I’ve been preaching about for a long time, I’ve known it intuitively, but I’ve struggled to practice it.  We spend so much time in pleaser mode that when we have the spotlight on us we feel pretty uncomfortable.  When it’s our time to share what we know, we suddenly feel inadequate or fraudulent.  The latter feeling is even more intense when it’s something you haven’t shared before or when you share it with people who normally see you in a certain light. 

Even though I still struggle with being comfortable sharing who I am, there is no denying the value that comes from not only being vulnerable, but from sharing a new perspective.  The only way we can grow is to discuss what we didn’t know before.  No one starts as an expert as I mentioned the other day…so why do we put this pressure on ourselves to perform and to always be perceived in control?  There is so much value in being open and learning from each other.  For a long time I thought it was just ego–if we don’t listen to other people to change our opinion, our opinion is always right.  Then I realized that even if we are right, we don’t always share. 

In Adam Grant’s book, Think Again, he talks about an environment of psychological safety, which is essentially if you feel supported to share new ideas.  That can apply everywhere from our neighbors and friends and family to where we work.  If new ideas are met with disdain or shot down then it isn’t easy to openly express them.  We internalize and shut down.  When new ideas are met with curiosity and seen as an asset, it is far easier to discuss with a group and possibly implement something really innovative.  But if we always wait for the right time and the right environment we may never feel there is an appropriate time to raise the subject.  So we need to find the happy medium and learn to develop enough worth in ourselves to take the risk and share what we know.

With that being said, that is still only addressing our own discomfort.  We need to talk about other people’s discomfort.  The environment of psychological safety mentioned above targeted potential “hierarchical” relationships like an employee to a boss or a child to a parent.  But one of the tricker relationships are those with our peers.  Generally speaking we hang out with the same core group of people because we speak the same, we are motivated the same, and we have the same values.  But when we start to feel like we need something different or those values don’t quite match our own anymore, we start to break apart.  There is a ton of resistance and shame and even ridicule when we become something other than what the group expects of us.  DO IT ANYWAY.

Many times people are afraid of what you’re becoming.  They aren’t comfortable or they don’t know you in that way because they haven’t seen that side of you.  It takes some adjusting on their side too.  Then there are always those who don’t want to see you get better than they are.  In either case, don’t stop.  Their opinions and fears are not yours and just because they can’t see the vision or they don’t see what you’re capable of, that is no reason for you to not propel forward.  THAT is your magic.  And eventually, ignoring the call of your purpose is more painful than learning to express who you really are.  No matter the situation or the people you’re with, the moment is temporary.  Trust me, after years of regretting not taking the chance, you will learn that it is just a moment.  And you will have more regret not saying something than actually saying something.  Don’t hide.  SHINE.

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