Today I am grateful for second (sometimes third/fourth/fifth) chances. I haven’t felt quite myself lately and I haven’t been able to put my finger on what the issue was/is (I will talk about this in more detail later). If I’m honest, I’ve felt off my rocker. My nerves are on edge, I’m sensitive about EVERYTHING. Physically sensitive as well. Communication has been stilted and aggressive or completely lost and I’ve felt physically and emotionally drained. Like I’m trying to move or speak and I just CAN’T. For a minute I actually thought something was wrong, like some random disease. I still don’t feel quite together but I am taking the time to heal because that is clearly evident now, spiritually and emotionally. I’m grateful to recognize that I need to do some more healing work. I’m grateful my husband took it—even if he was the brunt of it.
Today I am grateful for signs from the universe. One of the groups I follow pulls cards (inspiration/oracle) and today’s card mentioned something old coming back into my life and to let it in. Several hours later, a friend I haven’t spoken with in a few years contacted me. We live really far apart and never hold long periods of silence against each other. It was so nice to hear from him and the timing was great. As I said in my first paragraph, I felt really lost and agitated out of no where, so to have an ear to vent to that wasn’t sick of my crap (including my own) was really nice. There is support everywhere. We just have to be willing to take it.
Today I am grateful to calm my mind. I needed to get out of my head and take a healthy dose of acceptance. Taking things exactly as they are and keeping my mind on track. I also needed a healthy dose of my own advice when it came to communicating. The feelings that I’ve been trying to make sense of, the whirlwind/incessant movement, just needed to settle. They needed to be felt rather than explained. Again, I’m still not entirely settled, but expressing what was going through my head helped to clarify a bit more of what I was thinking.
Today I am grateful for some time on my own. I have been in control mode, trying to shape everything around me. I’ve also been moving in conflicting directions as well as not completing something I started. That is a recipe for PURE chaos. Part of the healing process is getting quiet. Tackling one thing at a time and seeing it through to completion. I needed to focus on controlling myself instead of my husband and son. So I took some time to pause and really look at what I was doing. I started decorating my office, focused on my writing, my books, planning my next steps. I needed to take the time to clear out the noise of the world around me. And eliminating/limiting the outside stimulation really felt good.
Today I am grateful for new relationships. We have met some amazing people in our new neighborhood and we have been included like we are one of the crowd. It feels good to settle in our new home and to have it feel like we’ve been here for years. It’s not just about learning the ropes, it’s about learning to form new bonds. To see what other people have gone through and to know we aren’t alone in our struggles. It also feels amazing to see and experience good people in the world. We don’t know each other from anywhere and that doesn’t mean anything. We’ve already helped each other and it is more than just being neighborly—it’s about humanity.
Wishing you all a wonderful week ahead.