“The idea of the principle of living is to seek liberation,” Shaman Durek. This quote came up at a serendipitous time for me. I’ve been so appreciative of the progress I’ve made but I’ve been looking at my day to day. There is still something inside of me calling for more. It isn’t about material things at this point, it’s definitely about freedom. It’s about spending my time how I see fit rather than having my day dictated to me. I’ve spent so many years waiting for people to tell me what to do because I didn’t know how to manage my days. I’ve been working on creating a life where I don’t “answer” to anyone because I’d rather spend my time creating things that make life better.
We have all faced this precipice before. The point where you make a drastic decision for change and you know nothing will be the same again. You have the choice to go to that side or to stay where you are. I can guarantee we’ve been there multiple times. When we get there, we either don’t see the bridge, it looks a little shoddy, or we think it’s too easy. No matter the excuse, we stop ourselves and never get across. Staying safe is really important to us because we equate repetition with security. But that isn’t always true. We need the variety to keep things fresh and to stay current. In seeking liberation, we must cross the divide into the unknown.
I know I said earlier that there are moments where things will never be the same again, but that doesn’t have to be a bad thing. It can be giving up a vice, it can be engaging with people differently, it can be learning to take a pause before replying to people. Liberation takes many forms either in a drastic change or in simply letting go of what no longer serves. That precipice can be crossed in simply setting down what we are not. Suddenly what looked monumental is pretty tame.
I believe wholeheartedly that we all deserve freedom. I don’t believe we are here to sit behind some desk pushing numbers 40-50 hours a week and then be rewarded with a few week’s vacation. We crave variety and substance and joy but we build our lives around monotony and repetition. Sometimes the freedom we seek is in our mind. We keep ourselves caged because we lack faith in ourselves or fear that we will be rejected or fail. But it is liberating to try something that you know is who you are, even if it doesn’t turn out.
So, as I went through my concerns/boredom with my day to day, I started asking what it was I didn’t like. As I went through that list, I had to open up to the things that I knew I wouldn’t be able to change. For example, I knew I wouldn’t be able to just pick up and fly to another country—I’m pretty well settled here and now would not be the time to up and leave my family to start over somewhere. I’m not able to up and leave my job, nor am I able to piss away money on more junk I don’t need. While those are the parameters, they do not change that there are things I CAN do. I can take the time to shift my focus inward again. I can take the time and focus on what I can give to others and bringing value to someone else. I can focus on my family and enhancing the time we have together. I can work on my projects. I can finish setting up the house. There are things I can add to my foundation to get me where I want to be someday. That is the greatest freedom of all.