Reality Check

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“We live in a generation where telling the truth is rude,” via the mindset mentor.  We have fostered a culture so egotistically sensitive that no one wants to live in reality any longer.  Opinions count as fact and how someone feels is more important than what actually happened.  I’m working through a sticky situation at work and we’ve been dancing around the issue for a long time.  Now that we are addressing it, there are feelings involved and complications around providing accommodations for someone who doesn’t really want to be there.  It’s amazing the effort an unhappy person will make to cling to their idea of right, trying to change everyone around them, rather than get honest with themselves and find where they really want to be.

I personally fear telling the truth at times.  I’ve always been a pretty objective person—not that I’m perfect at it because believe me, I can still be judge-y as hell—but I ALWAYS make an effort to see all sides.  I can mediate an argument and get my teams to function well together like no ones business.  I can get them to take their emotions out of it.  But when I’m expressing my honest opinion, I tend to get super emotional and hold back.  I still have moments when I fear what people will think of me.  I’m hyper-aware that most people don’t take a step back in conversation so they don’t see things as objectively as I do or they aren’t trained to take things at face value to take in another side.

We have become so aware of emotion and sensitivity that we’ve clouded reality.  The problem is, it isn’t genuine emotion.  It’s performative and manipulative emotion.  We want people to see us in a certain way so we behave how we think THEY think someone would behave or we turn up the dial on the sensitivity to the point where a smile is offensive.  We are ALWAYS on, trying to get people to treat us a certain way.  This is why we have issues when people correct us.  For example, someone consistently shows up 15 minutes late to work—every day, different excuses each time.  We have a conversation where they are told to leave 15 minutes earlier and the world ends. 

I will be honest, for a LONG time I was overly sensitive.  Not that I offended easily (I have a really sick sense of humor) but I took things personally.  Like, really personally.  I projected my own insecurity as the reason why certain things didn’t come to light for me. It has taken a TON of honesty and stripping away of bullshit to get to the point where I know I had to turn down the sensitivity in my life.  I had to shift my perspective and root in reality and that is something I strive to do every day.   

The truth is we do need to address emotion but we haven’t trained people how to deal with it and what it really is.  We also haven’t trained people how to really get in touch with who they are and what they’re feeling.  They behave how they think they’re supposed to based on what they’ve seen, not what they’re actually feeling.  We are so desperate for an identity that, instead of taking the time to look within, we start creating these categories for us to fit into so we have a unique space.  We haven’t taught that we each HAVE a unique space in us and all we have to do is get quiet enough to hear it, and tune in.  There are very real signals inside of us that will tell us exactly who we are.  We don’t need to create something so extreme that we become unrecognizable based on what we look like or what our interests are.  When we tap into what is already inside of us, we will naturally turn into something unrecognizable.  We become who we ARE, not what we want to project.

Until we learn to master those skills, there will be this perceived sense of insecurity and persecution.  And yes, the truth will be regarded as offensive.  Shit, we spent the last four years in someone else’s daydream on a massive scale.  There is something to be said for mass consumption and mass delusion—it means we are quicker to believe what someone tells us over what we know.  The good news with this is that if we tailor the message and start sharing some truth bombs, maybe more people will get on board.  Granted, people can’t take in a message before they are ready.  But we can start shifting our mindset to deal with genuine emotional issues instead of egoic issues we pretend are emotional (and for the record, discounting reality for your opinion is actually what’s rude).  We can teach getting honest with ourselves and appreciating reality over interpretation.  We can teach humanity instead of supremacy/hierarchy/consumerism and work toward something that is really great for everyone.  Once those needs are met, this bullshit won’t exist anymore.

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